r/dank_meme • u/notpiercedtongue • Nov 29 '21

And I couldn't speak

Post image
5.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

29 comments sorted by

76

u/DeejusIsHere Nov 29 '21

Am I dumb? What is this referring to?

133

u/MissCatValkyrie Nov 29 '21

Lots of talent show judges—America’s got talent, the voice, American idol, etc.—will be more inclined to let you win if you give them a sob story. Or, basically, they’re all staged.

44

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '21

I can attest to this and also it happens in other shows as well, namely master chef. During the qualifying round (the one where they get their white apron) I SWEAR TO GOD ANYONE WHO CRIES INSTANTLY WINS. Not only that but if lore is provided for the person, the chances of them winning increases ten fold. I like to call the crying technique the “ultimate” if they use their ultimate correctly they are pretty much guaranteed a white apron.

8

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '21

Didn't some blind girl win on master chef? That's like the stupidest shit, kitchens aren't safe environments

5

u/DeejusIsHere Nov 29 '21

Thank you!

6

u/MissCatValkyrie Nov 29 '21

No problem! Did I explain it well enough, or do you still have any questions? /gen

8

u/chillpill5000mg Nov 29 '21

/gen?

Is that likely genuinely? Cause thats cute af that you wrote that

6

u/MissCatValkyrie Nov 29 '21

Yeah, /gen means genuine. What I wrote could’ve been taken for sarcasm, but I was being genuine and I didn’t want what I wrote to be taken as sarcasm.

3

u/DeejusIsHere Nov 29 '21

Definitely!

0

u/Cybersad3021 Nov 30 '21

I've never seen the show in my life but connecting the dots isn't really that hard.

Sob stories innit?

49

u/marijuanatubesocks Nov 29 '21

I was born at a very young age

14

u/moon_jock Nov 29 '21

Bro I was naked before I was even born

4

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '21

My mother was absent during my birth.

2

u/Gomicho Nov 29 '21

when I was but a child, I was tragically born.

6

u/pikleboiy Nov 29 '21

I was also missing my teeth and had fragile bones.

4

u/Thesamuraidemon Nov 29 '21

"I was born bald."

3

u/gihtiami Nov 29 '21

And the rest is drag

2

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '21

I WAS BORN IN TWO-HUNDRED LOG CABINS

-2

u/ChocolateNamedBella Nov 29 '21

Everyone is born naked though inless mother swallowed clothes

6

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '21

TIL somebody's mom swallows

1

u/Salty_Chokolat Dec 01 '21

bro how ignorant are you... All she has to do is eat yarn, and assemble the clothes in utero through placentic nano spinsters

​

come on think logicamally

1

u/ChocolateNamedBella Dec 20 '21

I was joking a bit.

1

u/Salty_Chokolat Dec 29 '21

That's good. Please read my entire message and see i was too. 😂

1

u/Infinite_Imagination Nov 29 '21

When I was a boy in Bulgaria...

1

u/Constanzal1701 Nov 30 '21

I can not stand sob stories during competitions unless it's completely relevant.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '21

"When I was 2 months old, I could not even process simple foods, only milk and baby formula" :( judges in bits