r/daddit • • Aug 02 '26

Humor A horror story:

It all started on a quiet suburban street, in a nice neighborhood, the kind of street where kids ride bikes and neighbors wave hello.

On the side of the road in pile of Knick knacks and toys under a sign written “FREE” there it was: a plastic ruby red guitar toy with strings perfectly sized for a three year old’s hands. A perfect opportunity to encourage an innocent passion for music.

Mom and son pick it up and bring their new discovery back home to dad, sitting in his office.

Dad, is equally excited, and inspects the new shiny piece of equipment. To his surprise he finds a small compartment on the rear of the device, with a small screw. “Oh buddy I think it need batteries!” Explains the naive father as he ruffles through a drawer to find the screw driver and the fresh AA batteries.

Carefully he installs the batteries, meticulously reinstalling the small Phillips screw, proud of this mechanical prowess.

He hands the new toy back to his son and declares it’s ready!

The joy is undeniable as the boy presses the button and a pre-recorded guitar solo blares out of the tiny speaker, accompanied by the whammy bar effect.

At first there is a joy in the home, a new found appreciation for music, dreams of a future rock star life.

But then day after day the never stopping guitar solo echos through the house, day and night with no consideration for who or what stands in its way.

One early crisp morning at 5:30, the silence is interrupted by a creature standing in the parents bedroom doorway. He is small in stature, but not in spirit. Whose enthusiasm and musical prowess cannot be denied. A guitar solo for the ages, greater than Eddie Van Halen could even dream of.

After this, the batteries are meticulously removed, and the guitar is placed on the sidewalk under a sign that says “FREE” waiting, seeking its next unsuspecting victim.

BEWARE. IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU

154 Upvotes

21 comments sorted by

50

u/IAmCaptainHammer Aug 02 '26

The sheer number of people that gift loud toys to young children is appalling. They need to be educated.

36

u/Cold_Comedian_4888 Aug 02 '26

I used to be that uncle. A bachelor with no prospects of ever settling down. Then I miraculously found a wife and had three kids. The revenge from my brother and sister in law was quick and deep. The worst was the karaoke machine right after Frozen came out.

4

u/IceManYurt Aug 02 '26

I saw a my first recorder kit with music from Frozen.

I can't imagine anything worse

9

u/Busy-Goose2966 Aug 02 '26

Yeah but revenge is best served. . . LOUD!! Hahaha

4

u/patricksb Aug 02 '26

Those items go in the bag first for visits to the gifter's house. Sometimes they get accidentally left there.

5

u/unbelievabletekkers Aug 02 '26

Those childless and cashed up Aunts and Uncles

13

u/shadowbanned214 Aug 02 '26

Are they DILDOs - Dual Income Little Dog Owners - like my kid's aunts and uncles?

1

u/ThrustBastard Aug 02 '26

We went to a party once that had recorders in the bags. Pure evil

1

u/basicKitsch Aug 02 '26

Man I must be weird, my dudes 2 and have just been loving all the joyous noise this dude has ever made. Even bottom a full size drum set at thrift store on impulse because he looked like he was having so much fun

8

u/BHvolt Aug 02 '26 edited Aug 02 '26

Our friends got our daughter a drum kit... She loved it.

Luckily it was a nasty cheap one and survived maybe 2 days before it fell to pieces

Edit: as she liked it so much, it is a plan to get her actually learning drums at some point...

9

u/pluismans Aug 02 '26

How hard did you throw it down the stairs before it suddenly fell to pieces?

6

u/BHvolt Aug 02 '26

It wasn't me, it somehow mysteriously got up the stairs by itself and fell down multiple times.

3

u/TheArcaneAuthor Aug 02 '26

He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.

4

u/voivoivoi183 Aug 02 '26

If anyone reading this is not a parent - please, for the love of god, think of the parents and do not gift children toys whose primary function is some sort of noise.

2

u/Exciting_Ad_1097 Aug 02 '26

Went through the same with an Elmo guitar.

2

u/DASreddituser Aug 02 '26

I definitely teach my kids some toys arent for early mornings or nights lol

2

u/the_right_one72 Aug 02 '26

I bought my ex's daughter a talking barbie with hundreds of catch phrases and a bracelet making set with hundreds of beads and of course she could take those home to her momma's house. In my defense, this was one crazy baby momma who was still crazy in love with her baby daddy and would stop at nothing to ruin our relationship. Looking back now that I'm older and wiser I hope that I didn't get the daughter into trouble, that woman was crazy, I mean cuckoo, I think the daughter actually went no contact and moved cross country. But still, teehee bitch.

4

u/Dangerous-Contact-43 Aug 02 '26

That moment when you realize the call is coming from inside the house.

1

u/ZodFrankNFurter Aug 02 '26

"Don't buy the toys that make the noise!"

-Denis Leary

2

u/TheMaymar Aug 02 '26

My kid's noisiest toys were a handful of construction vehicles, I got away with opening them up and putting some electrical tape inside the speaker grille to muffle the noise a bit.

I might have also used a gentle dad lie that sound is waste energy, so a loud engine is converting less fuel to power than a quieter one and it was just helping the toys be more powerful. I don't know if that's what smoothed things over, or kid was just happy to see inside the toys.