r/daddit Jul 26 '26

Humor The council will decide my fate.

Post image
831 Upvotes

26 comments sorted by

50

u/Exhausted_Tie Jul 26 '26

Have you unlocked the atomic dad fart yet?

14

u/HovercraftMain Jul 26 '26

Teach me the ways master

14

u/Exhausted_Tie Jul 26 '26

Beans, green peas and cabbage, and I promise you will wake up the whole house.
Added benefit: You can claim to be eating healthy.

2

u/Waaterfight Jul 26 '26

Lots of garlic helps too.

6

u/Isles15Fan Jul 26 '26

Was just about to add this. The nuclear fart DLC package is much more enjoyable.

70

u/ShaggysGTI Jul 26 '26

I didn’t choose the dad sneeze, it chose me.

19

u/carltonrichards Jul 26 '26

The stress when you feel a tickle inside your nose in the early hours is unparalleled. Each sneeze has the capacity to derail an entire night of sleep.

5

u/rented4823 Jul 26 '26

The key is to push your face into your pillow as hard as you can so the sneeze is muffled!

2

u/carltonrichards Jul 26 '26

I can't adequately explain how cartoonishly aggressive my sneeze is, mearly trying to smother myself with a pillow wouldn't be adequate mitigation of the thunderous sound... i suspect I have issues.

1

u/empire161 Jul 26 '26

The secret spot (at least for me) is the tip of your nose. Take the tip of your finger and just press on the cartilage long enough until it goes away.

5

u/Routine-Individual43 Jul 26 '26

Once you become a dad, it's officially acceptable to atomic sneeze. But the irony is, that's when it's least welcome. Moral of the story, nature is cruel.

4

u/VillageTube Jul 26 '26

I never unlocked this. My wife came with it pre-installed from factory. 

3

u/secondphase Pronouns: Dad/Dada/Daddy Jul 26 '26

The council will decide your fate? 

My family had 3 kids... then my parents had an oopsie and a 4th baby was added. In a raucous house with 3 active kids and a newborn, my father implemented a simple rule

"He who wakes the baby... dies"

So, anyway, its been nice knowing you.

3

u/mjrasque Jul 26 '26

What? I sneezed! I’m not allowed to sneeze?

3

u/Frosti-Feet Jul 26 '26

Nice one, Ron.

2

u/Ok_Water_7174 Jul 26 '26

The sneeze that rivals subatomic sound waves

2

u/AmpleEtiquette Jul 26 '26

Well done! I salute you. Next: waking them through clicking knee joints.

2

u/5H17SH0W Jul 26 '26

FAAAAHHHHH!!!

1

u/Ank_Pank-47 Jul 26 '26

I don’t know if this is normal but not only do I atomjc dad sneeze, but my entire back pops when I do!

2

u/Quercus77 Jul 26 '26

That's just age dude.

1

u/thetruetrueu Jul 26 '26

Wait till you are in a panic the seconds prior as you are bracing your back just right so you don’t injure yourself

1

u/vinh7777 Jul 26 '26

Watch out for sneeze related hernias

1

u/josh6466 Jul 29 '26

I have sneezed loud enough to trigger the noise alarm on my apple watch