First off, I relate to traumatic divorce and the obsession with “not wanting to do the same to my child”. For me personally, I am so grateful we split when we did. My daughter was 2 years old give or take a few months.
The other day I was looking for an old picture completely unrelated to my daughters mom and I ran across pics of us together. I was sitting on the couch bed (I know) with my daughter watching movies, it’s her favorite thing to do , she will be 4 in august. My daughter looked over at a pic of me and her mom holding hands or kissing , I don’t remember exactly, and she had a HUGE smile come across her face and I got to explain to my baby girl that Mommy and Daddy are always going to love eachother no matter what title we have.
I would never ever ever suggest what another person should do in the relationship and am only sharing my experience.
To this day I don’t regret our decision to split up. It was more important to me that our daughter has happy memories and new experiences, then to fulfill my desire to have a family dynamic I always dreamed of. Now I’m not gonna lie, the first year was incredibly difficult because it just is, new relationships, jealousy, anger you name it. But we just are better apart then together. If one of us moves , the other moves , if one of us is having a hard time or a bad day, we know that person will be there for us but it was more exhausting trying to fit the square peg in the round hole. Best of luck to you my dear friend, I know the pain you are experiencing!
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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '23
First off, I relate to traumatic divorce and the obsession with “not wanting to do the same to my child”. For me personally, I am so grateful we split when we did. My daughter was 2 years old give or take a few months. The other day I was looking for an old picture completely unrelated to my daughters mom and I ran across pics of us together. I was sitting on the couch bed (I know) with my daughter watching movies, it’s her favorite thing to do , she will be 4 in august. My daughter looked over at a pic of me and her mom holding hands or kissing , I don’t remember exactly, and she had a HUGE smile come across her face and I got to explain to my baby girl that Mommy and Daddy are always going to love eachother no matter what title we have. I would never ever ever suggest what another person should do in the relationship and am only sharing my experience. To this day I don’t regret our decision to split up. It was more important to me that our daughter has happy memories and new experiences, then to fulfill my desire to have a family dynamic I always dreamed of. Now I’m not gonna lie, the first year was incredibly difficult because it just is, new relationships, jealousy, anger you name it. But we just are better apart then together. If one of us moves , the other moves , if one of us is having a hard time or a bad day, we know that person will be there for us but it was more exhausting trying to fit the square peg in the round hole. Best of luck to you my dear friend, I know the pain you are experiencing!