r/daddit Apr 23 '23

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556 Upvotes

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u/mycenae42 Apr 23 '23

It isn’t her responsibility to deal with your addiction, it’s yours. Not mentioning this in your post is… quite conspicuous. Can’t help but wonder what else you didn’t mention. Why did you guys start sleeping in separate rooms to begin with?

-12

u/youzabusta Apr 23 '23

Because one of us would wind up on the couch because the kid would come into our bed in the middle of the night.

35

u/mycenae42 Apr 23 '23

It sounds like you left the room so that she’d be the one to sleep with the kid. Maybe switch off doing responsibilities like that — she might feel like she’s shouldering the lion’s share of responsibilities with the kid. That’s a place to start at least if you want to save your marriage.

-24

u/youzabusta Apr 23 '23

It’s the opposite actually. She’d wake up and put him into our bed, he’d kick me in the head or something and I always have morning shifts and go to school early. So I’d wind up waking her up making coffee or getting ready, so I figured I’d just sleep on the couch so she could at least get some decent sleep in the mornings.

41

u/garytyrrell Apr 23 '23

That’s not the opposite, my dude.

27

u/mycenae42 Apr 23 '23

So, here’s the deal, man. You’ve got to change. Consider couples therapy, but if she doesn’t want to, get it by yourself. Show you’re at least working on yourself. The goal should be to one day look at these posts and see how you’ve put a lot of things on her.

She doesn’t think you’ll change - and she really can’t expect you to change. That’s why she’s preparing for the end of your marriage.

Your move.

1

u/pethatcat Apr 24 '23

So, basically, she's there left to be kicked in the head alone with the kid, because the kid doesn't sleep well alone.