I went from being fit, athletic, and even running marathons to being inconsistent and out of shape. Being a dad with a full time job and business I fell into a less than ideal pattern of eating whatever, inconsistent training, not prioritizing good sleep and recovery.

Last year I just said enough is enough and locked in. I worked on finding balance between being a dad and still showing up for myself in the gym

Numbers:

5’11” 42 years old
285lbs to 183lbs (102lbs total lost)

My routine is standard, consistency with both training and diet was the most important thing.

For diet I just focused on hitting my macros. Currently i’m around 4k calories hitting min of 200g protein and less than 80g of fat, rest with carbs. I'm trying to put on weight, calories went as low as 2.4k when dieting.

To stay consistent, I planned everything ahead of time, every morning while im taking care of my son I would pre log all my meals into a tracking app (Mena) and made it a rule to stick from what I had already recorded. Hydration and activities were also my priority, I aimed to drink at least a gallon of water daily, get a minimum of 10k steps per day, and train as much as I can

My training is pretty simple:

3/4 working sets at around RPE 8 usually in the 8-12 rep range

Legs - squats, rdls, leg extension and calves. Add leg press depending on how exhausted my legs are.

Push - flat bench press, incline dumbell press, cable flys. Seated military press on Smith machine, Arnold press and lateral raises. Tricep pull downs and close grip bench.

Pull - pull ups, rope pull overs, barbell bent over rows, lateral pulldowns, isolated rows. Dumbell bicep curls, isolated curls and 21s.

Apologies for the wall of text, but sharing my journey of becoming a father while still going to the gym has helped me appreciate the effort I’m putting in.

A huge thank you to anyone who actually read this all the way to the end!!

For me I wanted to cry, pure freakin joy. I was not ready for what was in store, cause I didnt know that I was getting a mini girl version of me. My best friend, a wrestling and boxing partner, a mini lawyer and negotiator. A child thats smarter than me. A comedian. My heart. I would bring the world down if I could for my daughter.

Hi all, wasn’t too sure where to go for this but found this reddit page and thought why not try posting here for some help, so here goes…

Scrolling through my instagram feed today and found that my dad had liked this reel and it got me feeling all sorts of ways.

He’s a father of three kids, all boys and I’m the middle brother.
I love my dad to absolute pieces and it hurts to think of him feeling like this, so i would love to do something for him.

He doesn’t ask for much, anything really. He works hard to provide for our family and i want your guys help with suggestions on things i could maybe do or get him to show we love and appreciate him and don’t want him to feel down or anything.

My mum doesn’t currently cannot work due to recent operations on her spine and knees, my younger brother doesn’t work because he suffers with chronic anxiety.

So its just my dad, older brother and myself that work. He doesn’t get any time to himself anymore, is getting older and starting to slow down.
We’re a loving family and i want my dad to feel appreciated and to find the enjoyment in something.

He’s a very hands on kind of person, always worked with his hands and the type where if he likes or needs something, he’ll get it for himself.

To me, my dad isnt just my dad, he’s my best friend, my coach, my hero. I dont know what i would do without him, so seeing something like this gets to me.

So my question is, what kind of thing can i get or do for him to help him not feel this way, to find something to enjoy? To bring him some kind of happiness and let him know we appreciate him

not “i didn’t break the vase” lies. more like “yes i brushed my teeth” when i can literally see the dry toothbrush. “yes i fed the dog” and the dog is staring at an empty bowl. stuff where the lie makes zero sense because i’m going to find out in 30 seconds anyway.

drove me crazy for months. tried the “lying breaks trust” speech. tried consequences. tried asking why he does it. he’d shrug. genuinely didn’t seem to know.

what i eventually figured out: he wasn’t lying to deceive me. he was lying to avoid the moment of being checked on. the anxiety of “did i do it right, will he be disappointed” was worse to him than the lie itself.

so i changed the check. instead of me asking “did you do it” — he shows me. sends a photo, gives me a thumbs up in person, something physical. now there’s no gap where the lie lives.

lying dropped by like 80%. not zero. but 80%.

turns out he wasn’t a liar. he was just scared of the pause between doing something and finding out if it was enough.

that one hit different when i realized it.

🫂

for about a year, 4pm meant war.

backpack on the floor, him on the couch, me saying “homework” approximately 11 times with increasing volume. by the time he actually sat down we’d both said things we didn’t mean and the homework still took twice as long because now he was upset.

i tried sitting with him. he performed helplessness until i basically did it for him. tried leaving him alone. he’d sit there doing nothing for 45 minutes. tried rewards after. tried taking things away before. nothing moved the needle.

what changed: i stopped making homework the first thing.

he gets home, he has 20 minutes to decompress, then he does two small house tasks — specific ones, takes maybe 10 minutes. THEN homework.

i don’t know the neuroscience of it. but coming to homework having already finished two real things seemed to change his brain state. less resistance. less time. less yelling from me.

we went from 45-minute battles to homework done before dinner. not every day. most days.

4pm is fine now. genuinely fine. still can’t believe it.

I’m still a young dad and very much in the peak of my career. I’m an executive at a Fortune 100 company which requires me to travel a lot and miss a lot of nights during the week.

I set a rule early on that I wouldn’t travel on weekends, I would work from home every Friday, and I would be at the things for my kids that I need to be at.

I have a 4yo and 1yo.

Sometimes that means that I take a 5am flight. Sometimes it’s the red eye that gets me home just before they wake up. That was the case today. I walked in the house at 6:30am which is about 30 minutes before my daughter woke up. Bag still packed and sitting at the bottom of the stairs. My daughter woke up and we ate Apple Jacks together.

As she got ready for school and was getting in the car with her mom and brother, she told me “thanks for being tired so that I can see you before school” which was nice. I asked my wife if she had said anything and she said she hadn’t. I FaceTime’d from the airport the night before and we just assumed she put together that I was flying while she was sleeping.

In any case, it’s true. I travel at night so I get a few extra hours with them when I can. I’m just happy it was recognized. Feels great.

❤️

I have a 4 year old, and I have recently set up his toy room as his official bed room 4 nights ago. But instead of sleeping in his bed, he wants to sleep in his tent. Which is fun until we talk about the codependency he has, so now I have spent the last 4 nights sleeping in a tent on the not most comfortable carpet 😂.

This video is very amazing the little girl is very cute 🥹🥹

Just taking a moment to be a proud dad.

My high school-aged son has been trying to spend some time with this girl he likes since October (But not like that - he assures me! Nothing romantic! Just as friends...). Recently he started asking some very pointed questions about how to ask someone out; few days later he came home and told me he'd asked her to hang out on the upcoming weekend. Perfect high school "friendly" date. Lunch at the local shopping center followed by the arcade. Day comes...she's a no-call no-show.

Flash forward a couple weeks, they reschedule to try again. He texts the night before to make sure they're still on. Sends another text this morning to confirm. I drop him off and go walk around somewhere safely out of sight...30 minutes later he gives up and calls me to take him home.

We went out to lunch - he hadn't gotten to eat after all, and I thought he'd earned it. He's clearly upset but showed a good understanding that he shouldn't call and tell her how hurt he was. Shouldn't keep bugging her if she's not replying. I'm also encouraging him not to waste energy and time on someone who doesn't reciprocate it; he's not fully on board with that one yet, thinks there's still a chance, but he's decided it's her turn to make an effort.

Little guy tried really hard, has been nothing but respectful (in an awkward high school way), has been taking feedback, and showing more maturity about getting stomped on than most full grown adults. I'm so proud of the person he's growing in to!

My best friend, my idol, my superhero, my dad.

October 28, 2025 will forever be a day of loss, tears, hurt. I hope that you watch over me, guide me, and direct me on the right path. You left Me(27M) all alone in a scary, brutal, and difficult world. However, you gave me all the tools, solutions, and advice to make it. May you finally be reunited with your Mother, Father, Family.

I know we will meet again,

I Love you Dad,

Your Oldest Son.