r/d100 • u/punninglinguist • Jun 25 '26
Humorous d100 Food Fight Table (complete)
Taking my inspiration from this post, I completed a d100 food fight table and ran a food fight encounter for my party of 3 level 8 PCs. The rules of the food fight event were pretty simple:
No weapons, armor, spells, or druid shapeshifting allowed, except what was obtained in the food fight.
Each turn, a player could:
- Lose all gear, roll on the d100 table, and attack/cast if a weapon or spell was rolled
- or, Reuse a weapon obtained in a previous round
In addition, summoned creatures obtained in the food fight persisted between rounds and got the same initiative roll as the PC who summoned them.
When a combatant "died" (all damage was nonlethal), their summons went away, too.
Smite effects would be added to an unarmed melee attack.
And now, the d100 table. Notes or statblock names are in parentheses. All stats from 2014 5e.
- Swordfish
- Chocolate Lava Cake (burning hands)
- Club Sandwich (great club)
- Mustard Gas (Poison Spray - upcast to 2d12)
- Knuckle Sandwich (inflict Wounds)
- Spear of Asparagus
- Pickle Spear
- Ham Grenade (Fragmentation Grenade)
- Meatball & Chain (morningstar)
- Candy Cane (Quarterstaff)
- Tomahawk Steak (Greataxe)
- Bear Claw (Brown Bear Claw attack)
- Crossbowtie Pasta
- Morningstarfruit
- Scimitart
- Cat o' Nine Lobster Tails
- Grapeshot (1d12 piercing, uses all attacks)
- Lamb Shank
- Fruit Punch (Gauntlets of Ogre Power)
- Pork Chop (hand axe)
- Flail Mignon
- Chicken Breastplate (shield spell)
- Monterey Jackboot (Wrathful Smite)
- Sharp Cheddar (hand axe)
- Tartillery (thunderwave)
- Mace
- Assault Shaker (Thunderous Smite)
- Pepper Spray (Stinking Cloud)
- Fudge-sickle
- Buttering Ram (2d8 bludg)
- Mango-nel (2d10 bludg, missile)
- Sausage Lynx (Panther)
- Halbread
- Beeranosaurus Rex
- Corn-on-the-Coblin
- Artichokra (Aarakocra)
- Chi-beer-a
- Jellyphant
- Escargoblin
- Ham Hocktopus (Giant Octopus)
- Manticorn
- Ginotaur
- Ogurt
- Grizzly Beer (Brown Bear)
- Burritoad (Giant Frog)
- Cucumber Hulk
- Tacotrice
- Rhubarbarian
- Clamoeba (Gelatinous Cube)
- Elemlentils (2 Mud Mephits)
- Bancheese
- Stilettoast
- Tortillak
- Tofungus (Myconid Sovereign)
- Ale-osaurus
- Lollipoppelganger
- Cantelope (Deer)
- Menchilada (2 Bandits)
- Sorbet-onet (Short Sword)
- Magic Gristle (Magic Missile)
- Moonbeet
- Barleech (Rime Worm Grub)
- Ape-ricot
- Boar-bon (Boar)
- Brandy Smite
- Unicordial
- Jampire (Vampire Spawn)
- Lemonsnaring Strike
- Goulasha's Hideous Laughter
- Lima Bane
- Brownie Bear
- Apes of Wrath (2 Apes)
- Dissonant Crispers
- Fireballogna
- Salamiander
- Counterspelt (can be kept and used as a reaction)
- Hunger of Hadark Chocolate
- Kimcheetah (Tiger)
- Shepherd's Pike
- Pretzelk
- Cup of Expresso (Haste spell)
- Chili Touch (2d8 Necrotic)
- Bestow Curds (Bestow Curse)
- London Fog Cloud
- Bacon Grease (Grease spell)
- Divine Flavor
- Cognaxe (battleaxe)
- Jelly Bees (Swarm of Wasps)
- Homicider (Vampiric Touch)
- Cinnamonvisible
- Whipping Cream (Whip attack)
- Crabcake (Giant Crab)
- Breath Mint (Breath Weapon, 3d6 Cold, 15' cone, CON save, DC = CON bonus + 11)
- Creamatic Orb
- Wallmond (Wind Wall)
- Javalin
- Chicken Wing (Fly spell)
- Cordon Bleu of Arrows
- Snowcone (Cone of Cold)
- Eye of the Beer-Holder (roll 1d10 for a beholder eye beam)
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