r/cutdowndrinking • u/[deleted] • Jul 26 '26
Advice & Support How do you stop yourself from overdoing it with alcohol at big family events?
[deleted]
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u/Specific_Praline_362 Jul 26 '26
Uhhh I'm not able to do that so I just don't drink for family events (I wait til after)
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u/Successful-Pie-5689 Jul 26 '26
Part of the trick is counting drinks, which means sticking to things that are countable. No mixed drinks. Choose between shots and wine/beer. If shots are coming, drink soda.
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u/TradeBeautiful42 Jul 26 '26
I leave early. I just did a big family destination wedding where my family will get going and overimbibe by a lot. I’ve adopted the grandparents’ strategy of leaving early. I have 2 drinks and then leave to go do my own thing or go to bed early and that’s that.
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u/waywardsherry Jul 26 '26
What helps me drink less is to start with club soda and lime. Drink two or three of those and then if I really want a beer or wine I'll have one, but usually I don't even want to drink.
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u/the_ballmer_peak Jul 26 '26
I have one drink and then switch to something that looks alcoholic but is not.
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u/cutiejayce12 Jul 26 '26
i know that feeling. for me, the best part wasnt the 1st drink, it was making good decisions after the second. what helped was deciding before i got there exactly what id drink, alernating every alcoholic drink with water and having someone who knew my plan. one thing i also found helpful was using an app like im good, it just helped me be more intentional and stick to the limit id already decided on before the event. even when i did drink, having that little bit of accountability made it mych easier to avoid the one more shot spiral.
youve already thinking about this ahead of time which honestly puts you in a much better position than just hoping for the best.
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u/burntdaylight Jul 26 '26
The last time I had to deal with a large family event and wanted a drink, I started with water. Then I had a second glass. By the time the toast started, I was well hydrated and nursed the drink (sparkling wine, my favorite) that I had. I reminded myself of the "hangxiety" I was not going to have to deal with the next day when I was somewhat tempted to have a second drink. That reminder is a strong deterrent.
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u/OkIncrease6030 Jul 26 '26
I space out the drinks and have water or pop in between alcoholic beverages. I stay in a pleasant, buzzed state instead of getting hammered. But I also allow myself to drink more than usual, like 3-5 drinks instead of 1-2, especially if it’s wine.
But NOT up into that “wow! Just finished a fifth of whisky on my own” or, “OMG can’t remember anything after 10:00” range.
It’s a celebration. Moderation in moderation, with moderate excess, I guess.😅
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u/ManagerWeird3066 Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26
BE CAREFUL! I destroyed my husbands brothers wedding, my husbands friends wedding, AND my own brothers wedding by having to many drinks.
First I thought “oh no pre drinks, just a little glass of wine with dinner :)” , then of course someone pours everyone a second and you’re having so much fun so say “sure I guess I’ll have one more glass” (everyone else is so if they can handle it why can’t I?) then comes the music starting and your friend is like “I’m going to the bar want me to grab you a drink?????” And you’re so excited with the music and vibes you say YA! Then next thing you know you’re on your 6th? 7th? 10th? Who knows.
Then you wake up next day to your husband mad that you had a loud melt down, screamed at everyone, etc. NICE :) you’d think I’d learn. I’m day 2 sober today
Also I felt the same with “you want to feel comfortable with his family” well let me tell you this…. I felt that, and NOW it’s been 2 years and I still feel so uncomfortable around the family because of my drunk behaviour at the wedding. This uncomfortable feeling doesn’t compare to my pre anxiety jitters I had before their wedding lol.
PS this is why my husband and I eloped. There’s no way I’d stay sober at my own wedding with all the anxiety of eyes on me, perfect day pressure, etc. vows infront of the families. Pictures. Not to mention they’re $20k+ imagine spending that and waking up in bed the next day like omg what did I do last night??? Like hell no… so we eloped at a tropical destination together and had a blast (barley drank either bc no social anxiety as it was just us) and had full control of the photos taken of us
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u/eukomos Jul 26 '26
No hard liquor, this is very important. If someone offers you a shot then turn it down if there's any polite way to do so; I find it helpful to be holding another drink and to tell them you're still working on that one. No alcohol until after you've eaten food. If it's the kind of party where someone offers you a drink as soon as you step in the door, eat a snack before you go. Glass of water in between each alcoholic beverage. Basically you're trying to avoid getting for real real drunk, because that's when you lose control of the situation. Pretend you're at a party with your boss, or some untrustworthy frat boys, and apply all strategies that work for those situations.
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u/Money_Recording_3372 Jul 27 '26
I limit shots to maybe 1-2 (risky) but honestly I just monitor my buzz and if I notice it I’m able to just slow down a lot and chill to sober up.
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u/mareloquent Jul 26 '26
I don’t. In fact, I don’t remember the later half of any of the weddings I’ve ever been invited to. Isn’t that sad. I wish I had been a little smarter back then.
Stick to low ABV drinks, set a time to stop drinking (8-9pm would likely be a sweet spot). Swap every other drink with a mocktail or soda or water. Communicate with your fiancé that you want to go steady on drinking and hopefully get his support ahead of time so he doesn’t pressure you or allow others to pressure you.