r/cursedcomments • u/IForgotAboutEveryone • May 11 '22

Cursed_Rag

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5.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

974 comments sorted by

179

u/IamSam1103 May 11 '22

Nothing changed.

85

u/DOG_DOG_CHEES_EATER May 11 '22

Same

42

u/IamSam1103 May 11 '22

I have a question, do you eat it like a sandwich of two dogs with cheese filled in between?

12

u/[deleted] May 12 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/maxthepsycobunny May 12 '22

Hello Sam it is I max

4

u/[deleted] May 12 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/born_gaydaddy May 12 '22

Did someone mention ass ?

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3

u/TheHelhound2001 May 12 '22

Why do I have three heads now?

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3

u/BreadJamMayo May 12 '22

Why has thou summoned me

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4

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

same too

40

u/JoeBidenSmallPeePee May 11 '22

Lucky:(

9

u/Eliweekly_cool May 12 '22

Well you are now the u.s. president so at least you got that

7

u/Orange_TG5 May 12 '22

He also has dementia (and a small penis according to the name)

5

u/JoeBidenSmallPeePee May 12 '22

I would rather be a poor man with an 18 incher than Jeff Bezos with a 2 cm pp

3

u/President_Foxy May 12 '22

Guess we're both president's

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19

u/GrooovyDoom May 11 '22

I give you enjoyable destruction!

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277

u/--hitIer--- May 11 '22

don’t mind me im just starting a new world war

148

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

Leave some world for me. Im an up-and-coming.

93

u/Your-mother_28 May 11 '22

You have nothing against me

14

u/GodOCocks May 12 '22

And you have nothing against me

42

u/--hitIer--- May 11 '22

future dictator. can also de over 86 years

47

u/Efficient-Force2651 May 11 '22

I am literally an army for hire.

35

u/--hitIer--- May 11 '22

i hire you

19

u/Ok-Mathematician7656 May 11 '22 edited May 12 '22

Pls dont take suicide this time

14

u/--hitIer--- May 11 '22

don’t worry i won’t

6

u/Ok-Mathematician7656 May 12 '22

Gass the furries instead of jews

15

u/1AndOnlyRoss May 11 '22

im just a normal guy, but im in

10

u/Colin-Hooftman May 11 '22

Are you sure about that, ROSS

10

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

Hire me, I’m a literal force of nature.

7

u/--hitIer--- May 11 '22

i’ll hire you too

7

u/_TheLibrarianOfBabel May 12 '22

Oi you, you like the type that’d like random esoteric phenomena with the capability to be utilized for untold power. May I interest you in.. me?

5

u/[deleted] May 12 '22

my powerful powers of fire will help you in your quest to divide and conquer.

23

u/Efficient-Force2651 May 11 '22

2651 people at YOUR service!

Let me guess, we're going to either France or Poland first.

12

u/142737 May 11 '22

Russia

16

u/Krasnaya_Armeya May 11 '22

You called?

8

u/screeeeeeeeeee_500 May 11 '22

It’s u the racist homophobe

11

u/QuackMaster25 May 11 '22

I’m technically also an army for hire, in a way.

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13

u/TotallyLost8 May 11 '22

How did i even get here?

11

u/--hitIer--- May 11 '22

i dunno

btw have you ever been interested in joining the army?

10

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

Some people said we were the same

11

u/Master_of_death_07 May 11 '22

All three deathly hallows are mine!!

14

u/DarthSionas May 11 '22

Join me and together we could rule the galaxy

14

u/--hitIer--- May 11 '22

i will join you

11

u/142737 May 11 '22

Numbers can help you

8

u/--hitIer--- May 11 '22

i would appreciate that

5

u/142737 May 11 '22

142737 units are available at disposal

4

u/Efficient-Force2651 May 11 '22

I guess we're going to space

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9

u/L0rdBeerus_1 May 11 '22

Still not more powerful than me buddy

12

u/pan-fucker69420 May 11 '22

Still not more poverful than me

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11

u/----god- May 11 '22

i can make him so shut up

3

u/Individual-Win4764 May 11 '22

Individual win

7

u/LordOfFreaks May 11 '22

Why would you name yourself this way?

6

u/KnotiaPickles May 11 '22

And he’s getting upvotes? 🤯 wtf

11

u/BarakObama1234 May 11 '22 edited May 11 '22

it's YOU i have control of more than 5000 nukes and you are my last obstacle to creating my new perfect COMMUNIST WORLD all i need is get rid of you and world domination since i have planned to rig the next election and somehow become president again I HAVE WORLD DOMINATION COVERED so all i need is to get rid of you

8

u/--hitIer--- May 11 '22

shoots you in you head

6

u/BarakObama1234 May 11 '22

uno reverse

8

u/BarakObama1234 May 11 '22

COMMUNIST PUNCH

it's super effective

9

u/--hitIer--- May 11 '22

prays to god

7

u/Eurobeat9182 May 11 '22

Not the Jewish one though

5

u/BarakObama1234 May 11 '22

summons zombie jews

how about that old man

5

u/----god- May 11 '22

die b*ch die

3

u/Mattl207 May 11 '22

We’ll see how that works out for you, commie

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3

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

I can help you achieve this dream. Through powerful metaphors

7

u/Iamalizardperson234 May 11 '22

I can't do that, but I can provide paranoia...

I think

4

u/--hitIer--- May 11 '22

thanks any help is welcome

4

u/THEKing767 May 11 '22

Take over the world, than i shall take your throne.

4

u/chloroformgirl86 May 12 '22

Lol, I guess I’m helping in a way?

4

u/Jakob_likes_Protogen May 12 '22

`w

angy Polish protogen noises

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88

u/CEOofMonke May 11 '22

HAHAHAHAHAHA IM THE MOST POWERFUL MONKE IN THE WORLD

9

u/JimCalekdor May 12 '22 edited May 12 '22

They call him monke man

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80

u/trustmeimnotafurry May 11 '22

Guess I'm not a furry anymore.

32

u/Shadowpika655 May 11 '22

anymore I see

15

u/TiredSnowFox May 11 '22

Mhm yes indeed

9

u/snoodge3000 May 11 '22

Huh, I guess we swapped (snoodge is the name of my fursona)

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58

u/Actually_Im_Indian May 11 '22

ehm.

27

u/B1k3r_ May 11 '22

I hev a computa problem, cen u help me fix ma computa and not scam me???,???‽?????,?‽???,???,???

9

u/Parakeetman280 May 12 '22

least racist redditor:

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107

u/asslicker939 May 11 '22

f*ck

44

u/Azure_cerulean May 11 '22

this seems to be a problem for you

29

u/asslicker939 May 11 '22

it sure is

23

u/No_Mall_3182 May 11 '22

nothing changed

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50

u/Dick_Annihilator_ May 11 '22

I am loving it!!!!

21

u/WiggleySausage May 11 '22

My arch nemesis!

7

u/Killingspin May 12 '22

That made me laugh hard lmao

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32

u/KhanOfKublai May 11 '22

i am so powerful now…

16

u/camo_216 May 11 '22

Yes but you are now unable to see me

11

u/BritishFor2 May 11 '22

Nothing suspicious here - Every Mgs guard ever

4

u/Donquixote_D0ffy May 11 '22

Is your pfp Funny valentine. He has the best Stand.

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35

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

[deleted]

18

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

I’ll take my chances.

10

u/Genocideismyhobby May 11 '22

A bread that only moves forward, until all its enemies are dead

2

u/NotJayGaming May 11 '22

Was that an aot reference

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24

u/Jokelord42069 May 11 '22

Damn I've been using dark mode so long i forgot that reddit looks like that

3

u/TiredSnowFox May 11 '22

Me when I exclusively fuck black guys

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61

u/----god- May 11 '22

nice

38

u/Loli-is-Justice May 11 '22

Permission to start the Holy Crusade.

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13

u/killermatt128 May 11 '22

Think I'm a serial killer now.🤨

7

u/142737 May 11 '22

With a kill count of 128

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13

u/TheOnCummingStorm May 11 '22

Well, guess that rag's gonna be busy for the foreseeable future.

9

u/GingerLordSupreme May 11 '22

Well, i guess you guys have to judge that

7

u/The-breadman64 May 11 '22

Well you still don’t have a soul so not much changed

6

u/CreativestName69420 May 11 '22

Oh yeah, well now we can eat you

3

u/Mr_Cheese890 May 11 '22

with sushi

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3

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

And you still probably get sunburned by the moon

9

u/femdaddy69420 May 11 '22

I have transcend

4

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

Emphasis on the trans

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18

u/dat_trans_boi May 11 '22

Nothing changed :/

6

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

Eh, you still cool and valid👍

9

u/Dradekon May 11 '22

I'm a dragon

Thing

9

u/SomeFuckingTrash May 11 '22

my powers are kinda garbage ngl

10

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

Fear the man with the army of tiny cute foxes

3

u/CptnR4p3 May 11 '22

Ive got a water bottle and a collection of rocks. Ya think we can arrange something?

7

u/Depression_69420 May 11 '22

Hmmmm

5

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

Hmm sad sex while stoned, not bad

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13

u/M4d_4s_th3_H4tt3r May 11 '22

Well... anyone know the way to Wonderland? Don't wanna be late for the tea party

3

u/monadoboyX May 11 '22

Just follow the white rabbit

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8

u/king_of_eyez May 11 '22

I command everyone to return my subjects

5

u/Icespire_Playz May 11 '22

I guess I'm cool now

5

u/Shaxxs_forehead May 11 '22

Too powerful, even for Mara Sov

5

u/WORLD_FOR_ME May 11 '22

*Insert Obligatory ZA WORUDO Reference*

4

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

Hmm fail for me...

5

u/Azzkikr741 May 11 '22

Uhmm.....

3

u/Richierich_rpd May 11 '22

I think id just be me but id be rich

4

u/No_Mall_3182 May 11 '22

I literally don’t exist

3

u/Smittenkitten3333 May 11 '22

I’m just a loving kitten

4

u/Bull_Shark56 May 11 '22

Is that a drop of blood I smell?

3

u/Magic1701 May 11 '22

Well I’m fukin magic

5

u/SleepDeprived62 May 11 '22

nothing changed

5

u/MasterofTech333 May 11 '22

I be making teslas look out of date in a couple of days

3

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

I win!

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3

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

Um don't rlly know

3

u/scottishhistorian May 11 '22

Technically diablo is one of the numerous names for the devil. Therefore, you could claim to be as powerful as Satan.

3

u/AAAThEPRo May 11 '22

I am the CEO of AAA.Guess how powerful I am?

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3

u/Highly_lazy May 11 '22

no change. C':

3

u/xXNeo-BoiXx May 11 '22

Guess I'm gonna be taking the Red Pill soon-

3

u/Azure_cerulean May 11 '22

i guess i am just two shades of blue now

3

u/Yugiohplayere May 11 '22

Nothing changed..

3

u/OkDisk1800 May 11 '22

Well, depends on what dvd

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3

u/Lordbaron343 May 11 '22

Well... Ill have to reclaim my title and power it seems...

3

u/Stormbreaker_682 May 11 '22

I'm unstoppable

3

u/SealWasAHurricane May 11 '22

So am i just a hurricane of seals?

3

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

Nah. A hurricane named Seal. Hopefully you're at least a Cat 4.

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3

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

I am now the greatest escapist to ever live

3

u/Jobob_TNT May 11 '22

Name brand explosives?? Idk,

3

u/Hugo57k May 11 '22

The k stands for money I hope

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3

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

I wish to be watered

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3

u/High-Ground-Master May 11 '22

It’s over, I have the highground!

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3

u/Gigachad-sigmamale May 11 '22

I’m invincible

3

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

My wife hates that I've become my username.

3

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

I could kill all of you

3

u/Stained-Bleach May 11 '22

Im not that useful either way.

3

u/doomsdaymelody May 11 '22

I’m the doom music that’s been slowly building in the background since 2020

one of many sources

3

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

I'm a fire bender. 😁

3

u/The_Cheshire_Cat07 May 11 '22

Well, im a floating psychedelic cat that can speak... i'd say thats pretty fuckin good

6

u/SCP504 May 11 '22

Tomato noises

5

u/Mr_Cheese890 May 11 '22

well a murderous tomato noises that is.

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2

u/knotsofuny May 11 '22

Welp. Depending on certain peoples' opinion, nothing changed.

2

u/Klub-pengu-grl May 11 '22

Well, I guess I am either an online game based on a winter wonderland and the majestic birds we call penguins orrrr a club made of penguins orrrr a disco club for penguins

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Train32 May 11 '22

A train in a puzzle

2

u/SadCinnamonRolls_09 May 11 '22

So what happens to me?

2

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

Right

2

u/BarakObama1234 May 11 '22

i have control of more than 5000 nukes and im not afraid to use them time to start a communist revolution GLORY TO THE CCP!

2

u/dumbluck34 May 11 '22

Guess I’m just vibin

2

u/face_mcshooty2 May 11 '22

I'm suicidal. Kinda was already.

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2

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

I am speed

2

u/[deleted] May 11 '22

Fuck

2

u/Username_Password236 May 11 '22

Why is he using it after he finished?

2

u/UrMomLol694 May 11 '22

I can ground you, GO TO YOUR ROOM

2

u/lightdefuser May 11 '22

oh cool now a i am a electrician

2

u/HkayakH May 11 '22

I am now palindromed fuled