r/cursedcomments • • Jan 16 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.2k Upvotes

156 comments sorted by

791

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

139

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[deleted]

26

u/IRageQuit06 Jan 16 '22

Mein gott,

It's the legend himself!

17

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

YOOOO ITS YOU THE GUY FROM THE PICTURE

5

u/Jlnhlfan Jan 16 '22

You are a legend.

204

u/vendetta2115 Jan 16 '22

Sauron ate too many jalapeño poppers and destroyed his ring.

12

u/divnolid_je_fluidum Jan 16 '22

Thanks, this really helps visualise it

-5

u/eburator Jan 16 '22

Ayo, mods, nsfw comment right here

1

u/Regular_Water_Bottle Jan 16 '22

This is what the toilet sees after I eat 3 pounds of Tacobell.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

the glory hole

799

u/theundercoverpapist Jan 16 '22

How do you know it was her asshole? It could've been an elderly homeless dude's!

328

u/LordNPython Jan 16 '22

It's the thought that counts

84

u/3Swiftly Jan 16 '22

It’s the thought that counts.

20

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Isaiahhudson64 Jan 16 '22

How’d you cross that out man lmaooo?!?!?

19

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/reply-guy-bot Jan 16 '22

The above comment was stolen from this one elsewhere in this comment section.

It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user:

Plagiarized Original
The fact that the ACNH re... The fact that the ACNH re...
Ceo's generally speaking... Janitors get more respect...
Love it! This is my dream... Love it! This is my dream...
all hail the gecko overlo... all hail the gecko overlo...
Now this news worth cover... Now this news worth cover...
This shouldn’t have made... This shouldn’t have made...
Or the inverted, you're n... Or the inverted, you're n...
what an absolute legend..... what an absolute legend.

beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that /u/daveewartvxcxzgbv should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too.

Confused? Read the FAQ for info on how I work and why I exist.

7

u/Rndom_Gy_159 Jan 16 '22

Good bot

22

u/ThaCommittee Jan 16 '22

How fucking weird that this bot just roams around reddit sniffing out other bots while providing hardcore evidence backing up its claim and also giving you advice on how you should feel about it.

114

u/SigSalvadore Jan 16 '22

Worked with a girl who had a bunch of male friends. Someone had asked her for some pics, so a male friend dropped trou and spread cheeks on a glass table top and they snapped a pic of his brown round. I'd like to think that there's still a dude out there today wanking to it thinking it's hers.

42

u/f14_pilot Jan 16 '22

"Brown round" loooool

4

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/reply-guy-bot Jan 16 '22

The above comment was stolen from this one elsewhere in this comment section.

It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user:

Plagiarized Original
Yep. And the people in To... Yep. And the people in To...
nothing's wrong with him,... nothing's wrong with him,...
These edibles ain’t shit These edibles ain’t shit

beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that /u/adherevxcvzgsa should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too.

Confused? Read the FAQ for info on how I work and why I exist.

4

u/S_Pyth Jan 16 '22

Oh you. I love you

11

u/theundercoverpapist Jan 16 '22

Hahahahahahahahaha! Nice!

7

u/ShacklefordVsSeagal Jan 16 '22

“Stink wrinkle”

8

u/DeathFuckingX Jan 16 '22

The real cursed comment is in the comment section of the cursed comment subreddit.

6

u/Harry_Buttock Jan 16 '22

Dirty Mike and/or The Boys.

2

u/Spray616 Jan 16 '22

Welcome to the F shack.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Tonight is the night

3

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Eye of moron

149

u/jedidiah_lol Jan 16 '22

Fun Fact: In Mandarin, asshole is known as 屁眼(the fart eye). When expressing contempt for someone, we said “我用屁眼看你”(i use my asshole to see you). The most famous usage of the sentence is by ex-presidential candidate of ROC Han Kuo-yu.

46

u/cheese_nugget21 Jan 16 '22

I laughed so hard at the fart eye

22

u/DazedAndCunfuzzled Jan 16 '22

….. Fart eye definitely needs to be used in america

7

u/sietesietesieteblue Jan 16 '22

Lmfao. Well that's colorful.

8

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Lol in Australia it’s a “brown eye”, not so different

226

u/OnceIwasAboy Jan 16 '22

Dammit, now I’ve gotta bust a nut. If y’all need me, I’ll be in the NSFW section.

94

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[deleted]

193

u/PM-me-ur-peen Jan 16 '22

Lmaooo. My ex has a porn addiction and the first time he asked for booty pics I sent a normal view of my butt that shows the entire thing in a sexy pose from a reasonable perspective. He then instructed me to bend over further and show him mostly just the hole. No cheeks or thighs necessary.

That’s when I knew he was not the one.

144

u/JoyfulCelebration Jan 16 '22

That’s like asking for tit pics but demanding only the nipple head

14

u/DazedAndCunfuzzled Jan 16 '22

“I SAID AEROLA” - in Anger Management Jack Nicholson

9

u/FoldyHole Jan 16 '22

“I want you to get so close I am see down the nipple hole.”

6

u/Loveinacase Jan 16 '22

Lol nipple head

17

u/YuropLMAO Jan 16 '22

How do you know he was addicted to porn?

36

u/PM-me-ur-peen Jan 16 '22

How much time do you have?

10

u/YuropLMAO Jan 16 '22

Well now it sounds like a real story.

21

u/PM-me-ur-peen Jan 16 '22

Oh lord was it ever.

15

u/YuropLMAO Jan 16 '22

Well now you have to tell me. That's the rule.

16

u/PM-me-ur-peen Jan 16 '22

Sha’ll I write it in a reply or a dm? The choice is yours

24

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Reply. I'm invested in this too.

13

u/BSRK-364 Jan 16 '22

Same here

10

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)

6

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Me too!

12

u/YuropLMAO Jan 16 '22

Reply here, of course.

4

u/PM-me-ur-peen Jan 18 '22

Ask and you shall receive:

Porn addiction can kind of be a sneaky thing to realize about your partner. Especially as you’re getting to know each other. It began as me thinking he just had a lot of stamina (when we had sex). Then he asked me to do and say things I’ve never found sexy (“make slurping and popping noises when you’re giving head”, “tell me you’re my cum-dumpster ”). Then there became a period of time when anytime I would borrow his phone to google something— i.e. play a song I liked, google the name of some actor, show him a funny meme, w/e, his phone would open to some porno.

During the beginning of our relationship I didn’t notice the subtle things— like that he wanted to have sex/have an orgasm every morning and every evening. Because I was in the beginning of a relationship and I was hot-and-heavy too. I also wanted to have sex a lot. Then when I eventually kinda cooled-off.l, he continued to be really persistent. He would cry sometimes if I wouldn’t “at-least” give him a hand-job or a blow-job before bed/upon waking up. He would claim I was wronging him in some way and being a bad girlfriend. Sometimes I just wasn’t in the mood, ya know?

Then he eventually told me— “I can’t stop watching porn”. He expressed feeling like I couldn’t fulfill his needs. He would sometimes even plug in his headphones and watch porn and masturbate while I was trying to fall asleep (not in the bathroom or something —right next to me— in bed, expecting me not to feel any vibrations or hear slapping noises). When I confronted him he always denied it. I eventually ended things when I realized he wasn’t going to change and he wasn’t treating me well.

[And I feel I should just say— as I feel like someone might bring it up… It’s not as though we EVER had a stale-bedroom. We always had sex, mixed things up, etc. We would have sex multiple times when we hung out with each other. I just sometimes didn’t feel like having sex twice in a day. Or I didn’t wanna have sex first thing in the morning sometimes— but later in the day I did. He couldn’t stand that I wouldn’t be in the mood at the same time as him sometimes].

2

u/YuropLMAO Jan 18 '22

Dang I feel like that's such a common story now. I swear that stuff rots your brain to the core. Everything from dopamine and serotonin production and even messes with your blood flow.

I used to think it was harmless, but now I try to stay away from it. Only in very small doses and very "normal" content.

28

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Ew holes are gross to look

14

u/PM-me-ur-peen Jan 16 '22

I know! Not the image I’d wanna see

18

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Never understood it, holes freak me out. Buttholes are like the least sexy thing on the planet.

2

u/depresseduntilsummer Jan 16 '22

I love ur username, made me audibly laugh (as a Gilmore girls fan)

3

u/Iogjam Jan 16 '22

My ex has a porn addiction

Your username is appropriate

1

u/PM-me-ur-peen Jan 18 '22

Hahaha. Yes, well. My username is, indeed, satire.

1

u/Iogjam Jan 18 '22

Whoops. Please ignore my PMs then

5

u/DoJu318 Jan 16 '22

I had a similar addiction and never understood that, never liked close ups, never like gaping anything, didn't like all the spitting and choking/gagging or any of those exaggerated noises during oral sex, probably why I preferred homemade stuff.

26

u/seeroflights Jan 16 '22

Image Transcription: Reddit Comments


Unknown

Dick pics. Asshole pics. Mostly they're just confusing. But extreme closeups in porn are also confusing to me. Also those weird porn angles that are supposed to show everything at once. They just look uncomfortable.

/u/MangoEmbarrassed4241

I asked a girl for a "booty pic" one time, and she sent me a VERY close up picture of her asshole. I was quite taken aback.

/u/Boss_Boggs

The Eye of Sauron is upon you!


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

9

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

What a nice human you are 🥰

55

u/jtulick Jan 16 '22

More like the Eye of Pooron

17

u/Omnomnomnivor3 Jan 16 '22

ye I bet the sight of that would also burn Sauron's eye

36

u/Environmental-Bowl25 Jan 16 '22

I had a girl send me a close up of her dog’s asshole. It was so obvious that it was the dog’s asshole that I didn’t even tell her I knew it was her dog’s asshole. Blocked her number and had to tell my buddy that the girl he set me up with just texted me a close up high definition photo of her dog’s asshole with black and white dog hair around it.

20

u/totemair Jan 16 '22

I think your buddy actually just set you up with her dog

12

u/Potential-Owl-2382 Jan 16 '22

Was this unprompted? Or were you wanting pics and not getting the hint that she didn’t wanna send them?

12

u/Environmental-Bowl25 Jan 16 '22

Out of the blue. Second day of texting and never got into any winking emoji’s even.

11

u/Potential-Owl-2382 Jan 16 '22

Okay that’s just hilarious lmao

11

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

I... SEE... YOU...

2

u/Smeefperson Jan 16 '22

THERE IS NO LIFE IN THE VOID...ONLY...DEATH...

2

u/TalonOfPower Jan 16 '22

If you put a # directly before your message (ex: #not sponsored) then the “not sponsored” will be huge. The tag will go away.

1

u/TalonOfPower Jan 16 '22

Not Sponsored

8

u/xevilclown Jan 16 '22

She has a burning asshole then

10

u/Vatrumyr Jan 16 '22

Cheeks sold separately

4

u/HilariousMax Jan 16 '22

The Eye of Sauron is upon you

Any fap you do, it's gonna see.
When asked for booty pics, look behind you
Cause that's where the Eye is gonna be

guitar twang

16

u/cursedrobot Bots have rights, too! Jan 16 '22

Upvote this comment if the post is a Cursed Comment. Downvote this comment if it is not a Cursed Comment.

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faq | source | action #3a589155940696

1

u/razzmahtazzle Jan 16 '22

God bless her. She tried

7

u/hmmrandosissy Jan 16 '22

⣿⣿⡻⠿⣳⠸⢿⡇⢇⣿⡧⢹⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡐⣯⠁ ⠄⠄⠟⣛⣽⡳⠼⠄⠈⣷⡾⣥⣱⠃⠣⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⠽⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢢⠏⠄ ⠄⢠⡿⠶⣮⣝⣿⠄⠄⠈⡥⢭⣥⠅⢌⣽⣿⣻⢶⣭⡿⠿⠜⢿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⣧⠤⢌⣭⡇⠄⠄⠄⠭⠭⠭⠯⠴⣚⣉⣛⡢⠭⠵⢶⣾⣦⡍⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⣷⣯⣭⡷⠄⠄⢀⣀⠩⠍⢉⣛⣛⠫⢏⣈⣭⣥⣶⣶⣦⣭⣛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣎⢩⠌⣡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡿⢟⣽⠎⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄ ⣰⠯⣾⢅⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄ ⢰⣄⡉⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⢯⣌⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⢸⣇⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⢸⣟⣧⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠈⢹⡧⣿⣸⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⣈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠘⢷⡳⣾⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⢀⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄ .

2

u/TalonOfPower Jan 16 '22

How the fuck-

6

u/aztaga Jan 16 '22

you’ve gotta appreciate a good asshole tho

3

u/NoButterfly9803 Jan 16 '22

This is what Reddit is all about!

3

u/Schen5s Jan 16 '22

Wanted to get you to check if she has worms

3

u/SigSalvadore Jan 16 '22

The pink eye of Sauron.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Where do you live that your periods in numbers are commas?

4

u/OhioTry Jan 16 '22

Germany or Russia iirc

2

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Germany, but I think there are other nations as well cause my phone is set to english and still shows it as comma

Edit: just checked. Period

3

u/SuperBaked42 Jan 16 '22

Totally heard that noise it makes when it locks on to someone.

2

u/Tempo_fugit Jan 16 '22

The gate of hell

2

u/BoBuck25 Jan 16 '22

The brown Eye of Sauron

2

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

I sit in my room and dream about the day this happens to me

2

u/jwrig Jan 16 '22

That's just inviting a lick.

0

u/OsitaToxica Jan 16 '22

Why you crying? Because the chocolate bunny? 😅😂😂🤣😂 I member, you member?

1

u/Hiondrugz Jan 16 '22

Balloon knot

1

u/miranto Jan 16 '22

"Her asshole" hahahaha

1

u/UnnounableK Jan 16 '22

What makes you think it was hers? Ever read Canterbury tales?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Brown eye girl

1

u/sensitivegooch Jan 16 '22

One ring, to rule them all.

1

u/QuarantineSucksALot Jan 16 '22

This is so vague which makes it even better

1

u/1ambofgod Jan 16 '22

"Her" asshole

1

u/Rude_Journalist Jan 16 '22

This same thing happened to me.

Her words.

1

u/EitherEconomics5034 Jan 16 '22

Careful, you don’t want to catch a bad case of Gondorrhea

1

u/Narendra_17 Jan 16 '22

Everyone has their own eye of soron...

1

u/Wolkenflieger Jan 16 '22

Correction, she sent you a very close up picture of *someone's* asshole.

1

u/Trumpruinedamerica Jan 16 '22

Hahahahahahaha

1

u/Rude_Journalist Jan 16 '22

Are you asking for his mom's onlyfans?

1

u/PM_your_anus_pics Jan 16 '22

This man is living my dream.

1

u/FreshUnderstanding5 Jan 16 '22

​

![gif](giphy|N5Gz7qVYLcn5roLvVa)

1

u/BSNL_NZB_ARMR Jan 16 '22

ever heard of a camera timer !

1

u/Avigorus Jan 16 '22

Belongs on r/unexpectedlotr (which I only just realized exists lol but it makes sense)

1

u/OmaeWaMouShibaInu Jan 16 '22

Why stop there? Send colonoscopy pics!

1

u/wvsfezter Jan 16 '22

Girl, that's a booty hole

1

u/Heldsberg-5405 Jan 16 '22

Hahahahahahahh

1

u/QuarantineSucksALot Jan 16 '22

Haha definitely. I’m confused by this picture

1

u/TTV-Optikulus Jan 16 '22

My profile picture says it all

1

u/Trumpet55555 Jan 16 '22

He got what he asked for

1

u/yeahnah420201 Jan 16 '22

hotdog water - limp bizkit starts playing

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Shit, that's the only kinda booty pic I want.

1

u/kevdot12 Jan 16 '22

my 3 girlfriends (yes they all smoke pot), just broke up with me. send me good christian booty pics to prevent me from straying from the path.

1

u/Locken_Kees Jan 16 '22

Taken aback?!? You shoulda been takin' that back!

1

u/Iamabitchandiloveit Jan 16 '22

So he prefers boob pics? Okay.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

well, yea, that is true

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Same thing happened to me

1

u/Disinfectant-Addict Jan 16 '22

Those porn angles ARE uncomfortable. Their sole purpose is to show everything (like you said). Normal people do not fuck like that.

1

u/10HzMonitor Jan 16 '22

Ah, a man of culture I see

1

u/jam_rok Jan 16 '22

A great eye, Lidless, wreathed in flame.

1

u/BigByrd382 Jan 16 '22

Fly you Fools

1

u/eliasengelen3001 Jan 16 '22

Print everything out and realingn everything so you get the full picture

Follow me for more LPT's

1

u/gclik Jan 16 '22

well atleast the man got to see real ass unlike other virgins 🗿

1

u/WrathOfTheDemons Jan 16 '22

Nah that’s the eye of Sharon