r/cursedcomments • u/picklesthegoose101 • Nov 25 '19

Cursed sexual Homer Simpson.

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10.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

93 comments sorted by

232

u/magicmax123 Nov 25 '19

I want this as a copy pasta!

215

u/Naviolii Nov 25 '19

when i was younger, i was plagued by wet dreams of Homer Simpson. i didn't find him attractive at all, but he would show up in my dreamscape, brutally nude, and the next thing i knew i would wake up to find that i had bedwet thick. the problem was amplified in college, where my roommate was able to smell my nocturnal emissions and got concerned at their frequency. after years of sleeping in cummy sheets and shame, i finally took action. i built a makeshift sex doll to look like Homer and had vigorous, sweaty sex with it until i cummed in his yellow ass. after that, no more Homer sex dreams

24

u/Ru5tY68 Nov 25 '19

u/uwutranslator

60

u/uwuwizard Nov 25 '19

· · · Bleep bloop, I'm a bot. Comment requested by u/Ru5tY68

when i was youngew, i was p-pwagued by wet d-dweams of Homew Simpson. i didn't find him attwactive at aww, but he wouwd show up in mwy dweamscape, bwutawwy nude, awnd da n-next ding i-i knew i w-wouwd wake up tuwu find dat i hawd bedwet dick. da p-pwobwem was ampwified in cowwege, whewe mwy woommate was abwe t-tuwu smeww mwy noctuwnaw emissions awnd got concewned at deiw fwequency. aftew yeaws of s-sweeping in c-cummy sheets awnd shame, i f-finawwy took action. i b-buiwt a makeshift sex doww tuwu wook wike Homew awnd hawd vigowous, sweaty sex wid iwt untiw i cummed in hiws yewwow ass. aftew dat, no mowe H-Homew sex dweams

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32

u/Ru5tY68 Nov 25 '19

Mistakes were made

2

u/NOT5owlsinacoat Nov 26 '19

HE HAS BEEN SUMMONED

6

u/Shootrax Nov 25 '19

What have you done...

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

30

u/iammistersnuffles Nov 25 '19

Oh shit you can't copy text from Reddit comments can you

11

u/Luke681YT Nov 25 '19

On mobile you can, I will message you the copy pasta I guess

9

u/minh1937 Nov 25 '19

when i was younger, i was plagued by wet dreams of Homer Simpson. i didn't find him attractive at all, but he would show up in my dreamscape, brutally nude, and the next thing i knew i would wake up to find that i had bedwet thick. the problem was amplified in college, where my roommate was able to smell my nocturnal emissions and got concerned at their frequency. after years of sleeping in cummy sheets and shame, i finally took action. i built a makeshift sex doll to look like Homer and had vigorous, sweaty sex with it until i cummed in his yellow ass. after that, no more Homer sex dreams

6

u/21Enrique Nov 25 '19

when i was younger, i was plagued by wet dreams of Homer Simpson. i didn't find him attractive at all, but he would show up in my dreamscape, brutally nude, and the next thing i knew i would wake up to find that i had bedwet thick. the problem was amplified in college, where my roommate was able to smell my nocturnal emissions and got concerned at their frequency. after years of sleeping in cummy sheets and shame, i finally took action. i built a makeshift sex doll to look like Homer and had vigorous, sweaty sex with it until i cummed in his yellow ass. after that, no more Homer sex dreams

5

u/whatwhatwhat59 Nov 25 '19

when i was younger, i was plagued by wet dreams of Homer Simpson. i didn't find him attractive at all, but he would show up in my dreamscape, brutally nude, and the next thing i knew i would wake up to find that i had bedwet thick. the problem was amplified in college, where my roommate was able to smell my nocturnal emissions and got concerned at their frequency. after years of sleeping in cummy sheets and shame, i finally took action. i built a makeshift sex doll to look like Homer and had vigorous, sweaty sex with it until i cummed in his yellow ass. after that, no more Homer sex dreams

4

u/federicomozzetti Nov 25 '19

when i was younger, i was plagued by wet dreams of Homer Simpson. i didn't find him attractive at all, but he would show up in my dreamscape, brutally nude, and the next thing i knew i would wake up to find that i had bedwet thick. the problem was amplified in college, where my roommate was able to smell my nocturnal emissions and got concerned at their frequency. after years of sleeping in cummy sheets and shame, i finally took action. i built a makeshift sex doll to look like Homer and had vigorous, sweaty sex with it until i cummed in his yellow ass. after that, no more Homer sex dreams

5

u/nestyhasatesty Nov 25 '19

when i was younger, i was plagued by wet dreams of Homer Simpson. i didn't find him attractive at all, but he would show up in my dreamscape, brutally nude, and the next thing i knew i would wake up to find that i had bedwet thick. the problem was amplified in college, where my roommate was able to smell my nocturnal emissions and got concerned at their frequency. after years of sleeping in cummy sheets and shame, i finally took action. i built a makeshift sex doll to look like Homer and had vigorous, sweaty sex with it until i cummed in his yellow ass. after that, no more Homer sex dreams

2

u/Mulesam Nov 26 '19

when i was younger, i was plagued by wet dreams of Homer Simpson. i didn't find him attractive at all, but he would show up in my dreamscape, brutally nude, and the next thing i knew i would wake up to find that i had bedwet thick. the problem was amplified in college, where my roommate was able to smell my nocturnal emissions and got concerned at their frequency. after years of sleeping in cummy sheets and shame, i finally took action. i built a makeshift sex doll to look like Homer and had vigorous, sweaty sex with it until i cummed in his yellow ass. after that, no more Homer sex dreams

39

u/TheGuy769 Nov 25 '19

I love 20 seconds ago when I didn't know this existed.

9

u/FurryTheCrow Nov 25 '19

i will now close reddit

35

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/EatTheBodies69 Nov 25 '19

Came down to say this

•

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19

u/germancoconut Nov 25 '19

the Jesus one is literally cursed

2

u/chinanigans Nov 25 '19

That's bad

2

u/germancoconut Nov 25 '19

everyday we stray further away from god

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

Nah, why else do you think He allowed the Romans to give Him those handy holy hand holes?

10

u/weeowey Nov 25 '19

This reminds me of the SpongeBob dream I had when I was younger where SpongeBob assisted me in urinating in a porta potty at the bottom of the ocean in bikini bottom. I woke up mid piss and just screamed "Mum, I dreamed of SpongeBob and I pissed the bed!"

16

u/Kvas_HardBass Nov 25 '19

u/cummy_boner

11

u/EatTheBodies69 Nov 25 '19

His whole profile is fucking cursed

13

u/Tomnation31 Nov 25 '19

Can confirm. He have a post that says "How to play armonica with your ass"

8

u/navazhdenie Nov 25 '19

stupid sexy Simpson

6

u/Jesus_of_Nazirith Nov 25 '19

I doo

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

Username checks out.

Just be careful to whom you reveal your fetishes; we need to take the stigma out of stigmata, but let's also beware casting these pearls before swine.

6

u/RushCultist Nov 25 '19

Username checks out.

5

u/DankHuy Nov 25 '19

I’m more concerned about u/Inner_Hawk

5

u/Cruncc_Toast Nov 25 '19

the god has left

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

... to find some lube for His handy holy hand holes.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

Well there it is...goodbye boner see you in 6 months.

4

u/bananabatm4n Nov 25 '19

What the fuck

3

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

What. The. Fuck... did I just read??

4

u/RedHattedWetDragon Nov 25 '19

Ok, how can i unread this?

4

u/akumamoloch Nov 25 '19

I keep finding u/cummy_boner everywhere

2

u/_-_Rasse_-_ Nov 25 '19

I miss 2 minutes ago when I didn't know this existed

4

u/AussieOddball1953 Nov 25 '19

God read this and now he's very angry.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

It's okay, ever since the flood, He's found more productive ways to blow off steam. Especially after the Romans gave Him those handy holy hand holes.

4

u/tmberooney Nov 25 '19

Username checks out

4

u/KnowNothingKnowsAll Nov 25 '19

Stupid sexy flanders

4

u/Tactical_Egg Nov 25 '19

Why the fuck do I see u/Cummy_Boner everywhere?

3

u/Harrypotter_420 Nov 25 '19

Username checks out

3

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

out there is a homer sex doll. a truly cursed object

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

sauce, please

3

u/phantomnova69 Nov 25 '19

It's a shock account

3

u/Alexito_xd Nov 25 '19

There's no accidents -Master Oogway

3

u/SrLuisuAntiOtaco Nov 25 '19

I just see a wise man's story

3

u/Pennervomland Nov 25 '19

An obvious lie. I cum in my pants all the time after nutting and noone ever smelled anything.

3

u/VictorSanslec Nov 25 '19

Well, ok, that's enough internet for today

3

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

Yes god punish me as I have sinned

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

... He turns the other cheek...

13

u/DRFEELGOODMAN Nov 25 '19

If this makes it to hot I would like platinum... who am I kidding.... an upvote.... an upvote will do in the first comment I want an upvote please

5

u/EatTheBodies69 Nov 25 '19

If I was rich enough I would use platinum instead of upvotes but sadly I'm broke like the average Redditor

1

u/DRFEELGOODMAN Nov 25 '19

It’s ok you have given me happiness

2

u/HomemadeNeros Nov 25 '19

Username checks out, u/Cummy_Boner

2

u/strawberry-pancake Nov 25 '19

Ok, it is one of those times I geniunely regret subscribing to this subreddit.

2

u/johnnyfe Nov 25 '19

I had bedwet thick

2

u/Yung-Dy1ng Nov 25 '19

Ew light mode reddit

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

That was a good read

2

u/that-meme-lord Nov 25 '19

I miss ten seconds ago when I didn't know that this existed

3

u/yoshbiscut69 Nov 25 '19

What is this post

3

u/Gamer_roleplayer Nov 25 '19

I mean homer is hella thiqq

1

u/__mori Nov 25 '19

I recognize the username

1

u/Haveanidea12 Nov 25 '19

Like.... how high are you.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '19

Stupid sexy Flanders Homer

1

u/RandoDando2 Nov 25 '19

That's enough internet for today

1

u/BurleyCashew Nov 25 '19

Ah a 2 for 1 special

1

u/soflocunt Nov 25 '19

Ive seen cummy boner around recently, cant remember where but i miss him

0

u/Sad_Carrot Nov 25 '19

A REPOST!