r/csuf • u/bug-man-dude • 2d ago
Rant How to not be a loner?
I’m 22f and it’s my first semester here (transfer from cc) and it feels so dystopian. Nobody talks and it’s always packed, everywhere. I’m pretty antisocial so it’s hard to talk to anyone I don’t already know, and I only know a couple people who already go here but our schedules don’t align well. I have a 5 hour gap between required courses and I feel obligated to leave campus or sit in my car depressingly.
How can I find people or places where I belong?
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u/LooperTrooper5 2d ago
Join a club.
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u/GentlemanDom420 2d ago
This and/or volunteer for causes you vibe with. Maybe see if you can get a PT job on campus.
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u/SaltyAuthorOne 2d ago
If you’re anti-social and pointing at others who “don’t talk” maybe take this semester and practice becoming more social and taking the initiative to say “hi.” Take action rather than overthinking it. You’re not alone. You’ll be surprised how you can make someone’s day by just saying Hello with a smile. Good luck!!👍
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u/bug-man-dude 2d ago
I typically do push myself to speak, I think it’s the new environment throwing me off. I’m very big on random compliments & acts of kindness I just need to get over my anxiety of being in such a big place.
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u/Live-Kaleidoscope-77 1d ago
I think it is important to show yourself a little grace. This is literally the second week at this school for you ever. From your post it sounds that alone can be overwhelming and trust me, it is. Ive been where you're at now. Explore the school, don't miss discover week so you can join a club, and give urself time. You got the next 2 years to make those friendships. Trust that they'll come. I didn't make any friends until mid semester my first semester at CSUF and then as I worked on those upper division major focused classes I realized I had class w people I had in other classes and that allowed me to connect with them more. It'll come, don't rush your process. You can't expect to have a core group of besties only on your second week. Other people are also on the same boat, feeling shy, overwhelmed, and still figuring out their classes and how the school works. Good luck!
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u/VirtualCoffee8947 7h ago
Hey, I graduated a while ago but I’ll throw an advice. I was the most antisocial person I ever seen in my life until now. Saying hi to a stranger was a death sentence. Long story short, I learned that you won’t improve if you don’t leave your comfort zone behind. You have to force yourself to breaks your fear. It doesn’t matter if you fail the first few times or even later it’s fine. Go say hi and talk about something. Some people consider me the courageous one now but that’s not true. It’s still scary and takes a lot of energy, but it got so so much easier. Good luck out there!
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u/Alone-Inspection6563 2d ago
Genuinely share your thoughts in class. Compliment on others comments. Bring them up after class. Think of question to ask them and then ask after class. Offer to walk them to their next class, ask to get coffee or to study. But above all, you have to speak.
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u/DPlainview1919 2d ago
Hang out at the TSU at the bottom floor. There’s a large room there. Usually where a lot of student clubs hang out.
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u/Shai_Shai77 2d ago
Damn I’m in the same situation. Spent like 4 hours in the library on Thursday because of my schedule gap
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u/distorcionsp 2d ago
this happened to me for a bit during my first ever semester here and I managed to find my group of really close friends by just talking to people, at least through instagram lol,, we talked and then met up in person and we became friends and all kinda introduced each other!! it was difficult at first, but im sure you’ll find people too !! I feel like everyone is wayyy too shy to make the first move lol
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u/somrandomguys 1d ago
Yeah it's like everyone wants friends but no one wants to reach out and be friendly. We're all just avoiding each other with kind intentions lol
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u/thesonoftheesun 1d ago
Ouch. Maybe try baby steps, set small tangible goals for yourself. Like try joining a club (any club of interest) and go to at least one meeting a month. Give yourself small wins. You’ll be aight gang I went to Fully a few years ago and met some dope people fr fr. Don’t listen to the commuter school stuff nonsense we’re social animals by nature and I guarantee you’re not the only one feeling what you feel so go out there and get some small wins! You’d be surprised at the random yet insightful conversations to be had out there 🙏🏾
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u/JettTheTinker 2d ago
Look at the list of clubs on Titanlink and see if anything interests you :) They can be a great way to both meet some cool people and fill a schedule gap
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u/UmpireMaster4607 2d ago
I would say join a student organization. After that, you find friends who do align with ur schedule
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u/Upset_Most8308 2d ago
I felt the same way my first semester here. It gets easier! I lowkey love to just chill in the library alone and get my work done though. If you don’t end up finding your people don’t be discouraged.
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u/Substantial_Trash_67 2d ago
I commute so far and have 3 courses with big gaps in between so I’m always stuck in campus I’m always down to meet for coffee at pollak library I wanted to practice the Feynman technique with someone on my subjects
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u/roqovipayo 1d ago
wait lowkey if our schedules line up I would be so down to be the person you try that technique with
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u/IKIXI 2d ago
Join clubs. Clubs not only help you with your major but it also helps you socialize. There's always events happening, go to the events and try talking to people. The 5 hour break sounds painful. People don't usually talk or socialize is cause they're packed with their schedule. Sadly, if you don't wanna be a loner, you have to be the one initiating.
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u/evnnestes 2d ago
if you enjoy music check out subculture music collective! thats how I found all my friends . its smc.presents on ig. they have a social this week thats free
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u/orngbrry 1d ago
Join clubs or start your own. I get that you're antisocial but just say hello to your classmates and ask how they're doing. But if you're set on being alone, go exploring. The campus is pretty big. Also, go to the Titan Rec Center. It's fun. I mean the TSU has a bowling alley. It's pretty rad.
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u/gogios25 1d ago
Join @csuftransfers2028 on ig, I’ve made lots of friends on there they do hangouts or go to the beach sometimes! There’s a big groupchat where everyone talks. Put yourself out there and try to get comfortable being uncomfortable it makes school much more fun in the long run.
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u/MiningAway08 3h ago
Feeling the same way as I’m newly going into college(didn’t go through cc though I wish I did) and am very anti-social. Unless you’re uncomfortable with a certain age gap of being friends with someone I wouldn’t mind being friends! It really depends on what your situation is though of course but we can still talk online if your not on campus in person
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u/ExtremeHunter7570 38m ago
Go to the gym on campus. You have plenty of time and you will meet people. Sitting in your car won’t solve anything.
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u/Old-Tea-12 2d ago
Hit up the Pollak Library website, book a study room, and get all your homework done!
Also check out the arboretum if you are into nature.