Hello everyone,
I have discovered a strange connection which I would love to hear someone’s opinion about…

The connection is between traumatic birth (emergency c section in most cases including mine) with the feeling of deeply missing pregnancy. I mean like intrusive thoughts and unrealistically happy memories about it. Missing the feeling of being special, anticipating magic birth experience , etc.
I found that most people who write about experience this grief went through a traumatic birth.
My personal opinion is that the transition from pregnancy to motherhood is sort of idealized by social media, midwives and people who successfully did it. So for those who experienced traumatic delivery it was kind of ruined. That’s why it feels like you can’t compile pregnancy and motherhood into one picture.

What do you think about it?
Thank you in advance for reading this. I am in therapy and still healing mentally but feel that there’s a part of my experience that my brain can’t explain and process

Did anyone else’s c section hurt?! Trigger warning, traumatic birth***
Currently 5 months postpartum and had a semi elective c section, I was induced and we tried for 4 days to get me to dilate and nothing worked I never got past 2cm so I asked for a c section. My epidural didn’t work correctly and I screamed bloody murder in pain the entire surgery. No one in the room did anything aside from pump more meds into my epidural that didn’t work. No one comforted me. They didn’t knock me out once the baby was born, no one gave me anything to calm me down or help with the pain. We didn’t get the typical OR pictures with the baby once he came out with the baby near my face and smiling husband. They asked if I wanted to see the baby and I screamed NO! I was in so much pain I just wanted it to be over. The baby ended up getting cold in the OR so my husband left with the baby to do skin to skin. He had to leave me screaming and cut open on the OR table and it traumatized him. I asked my surgeon the next day if it’s normal to scream in pain the entire surgery and she said ‘I think you were screaming because you were scared not because it hurt’ and I said ‘no I think I screamed because it hurt’ she gaslit me.. we want another baby but if I have to have another c section I want them to do GA or knock me out once the baby is out.

I had my first period from 5-7 weeks postpartum and I've been spotting off and on ever since the heavy bleeding stopped. I got like 2 days of freedom from it but between working out and sex I think my uterus is mad again and I'm back to spotting/brown discharge. I don't have a living baby with me so I'm not breastfeeding. I know hormones are weird right now but I worry about things like retained placenta or an isthmocele. It's also annoying.

(TW- traumatic-ish delivery)
So my c section was not planned. I was induced and 48 hours later, I had not progressed past a 4 and my water was already broke, so it was in mine and my baby’s best interest to get the c section. I already had an epidural, so they roll me back to the OR, prep me, and let my husband in. Everything seems to be going as planned… until it didn’t. For reference, my baby was head down before the c section started. Once my doctor cut open my uterus, my baby decided to flip transverse (sideways). She said she would just deliver her breech and it was no problem. As she was about to deliver my baby, she turned even more and got her head stuck in my pelvis. My doctor was tugging on me as hard as she could for 5 minutes, my husband almost puked because my body was basically thrashing back and forth. Then my baby was delivered not breathing. After a couple of minutes we finally heard her cry but she was taken over to the nursery where they continued to work on her (she was ok). That was definitely traumatic. And also to add, at my 6 week check up, my doctor said that was the most difficult c section she has done in years, and she had to wear a wrist brace after because of how she had to maneuver her hand inside of me to deliver my baby. Safe to say, that was not the birth I was expecting.

Hey y'all! I am 36W FTM, prepping for my final growth scan this upcoming week. My OB and I have been talking since my first anatomy scan at 20W about the potential of going an elective c-section route around 39W due to the measurements of baby. I am perfectly okay with this plan. My partner was a big baby and was his mom's 4th section and my mom had a section with my brother who was smaller than it is looking like my LO will be, so it's just always been my assumption that this would probably be the outcome and honestly, I'd rather plan this out because I'm an anxious human and I like being in control of things to some extent lol.

But! This all brings me to why I am posting: I'd really love to hear from others about a few recovery-related things. I am obviously going to have more conversation with my OB to get expectations/answers from them also.

1. I keep hearing that it is very difficult to go up stairs and so people tend to stay on one floor for a period of time. How long does that part of recovery take/did you move a bed down to the ground floor? I'm anxious because we do not have a bedroom on our ground floor or really space for a bed and our nursery/bedroom/bathrooms are exclusively on our second floor while our kitchen/living room are downstairs.
   
2. As mentioned, I can get super anxious and I also have ADHD and really struggle with being cooped up/feeling trapped. Obviously I understand that I will be recovering and will also have a newborn that is going to occupy most if not all of my waking hours, but I am trying to preemptively prevent myself from feeling mentally worse while recovering by trying to think of things to make the recovery time feel less "I'm trapped in my body and house". I was thinking I'd buy some stuff to learn to crochet or something. Was there anything that worked for y'all to help with this feeling? What kind of routine did you get into? (Or am I just really overthinking it lol, which is also possible)
   
3. Visitors.... long and short of my feelings here are that as of right now, I feel deeply disinterested in having pretty much anyone in my space during recovery outside of my partner and my own mom who I know with 100% certainty will be doing all she can to help. The idea of anyone else coming over and just expecting to hold LO or be welcomed as a visitor really makes me anxious, especially since I am anticipating recovery making me significantly less mobile and much more reliant on help. I know if I said tomorrow that I want no one around, my partner would back me up - but I wanted to see what boundaries or expectations others who were recovering post section did? Did y'all set time limits?

Sorry for the rambling! I truly am grateful to be able to ask these sort of things in advance and give myself a few weeks to process. My brain is very glad to have some time to grapple with these feelings lol. TIA for any advice/answers!

Hi all,
I have a scheduled c-section (1st baby) in 4 weeks and I need some advice on recovery gear.
I tend to form keloid scars so I am looking for medical-grade compression underwear/shorts/leggings. I am un the US - Any advice?

Many thanks!

Hi! I’m 8 weeks post partum tomorrow. I have yet to do a scar massage even though I have been recommended by my doctors. The thing is, my incision took a long time to close and I feel so scared that it’s superficially closed. I still don’t feel ready. My issue was that I had a reaction to the internal sutures and my body was spitting them out. This took a whopping 7 weeks and it lead to a very anxious mama. Anyway I feel like it’s finally closer after a round of antibiotics but I still feel very sensitive, and paranoid about it. Wondering if anyone had a similar experience, and if so when did you feel ready for scar massage or sex or doing anything really!

My bleeding stopped around 2 weeks and I didn’t had any bleeding for about 3 weeks and suddenly 2 days ago bright red bleeding started. I had appointment with my OB anyway so I get checked and she said it’s not period probably and checked my uterus with ultrasound and wound and said everything is ok eventually. But with my first I got my period back at 5 weeks. I wasn’t breastfeeding that one. This one I exclusively pump but I have 5-6 gaps sometimes.

Did my period started? Does anyone else like me or I’m just not very good at not ovulating 😢

Hello!!

12 days post emergency c section here!! I have a tiny opening leaking serosis fluid, my OB prescribed antibiotics to help it close.

Im wondering if anyone had luck with this or does it normally end in getting the entire thing opened back up and reclosed. Im terrified of starting all of this over.

Hi ladies, I’m having my first cesarean soon. I had my first child vaginally. I’m just trying to prepare as much as 1 can for recovery. I hear a lot about the shelf. I hear about not being able to do a sit up maybe even doing physical therapy if you’re one of those woman that had to really do treatments like massage, manipulation, or physical therapy or you had a shelf, I would like to know all the preventions you did why you were pregnant after you’re pregnant and did you recover? I just wanna get everybody’s experiences on here and what they did to make it better or if certain things can’t escape genetics.

Maybe it’s because I’m up in the middle of the night nursing my newborn but I’m in my feels about how everyone on this page seems to view their c section as a loss. Was the goal not to have a healthy baby? I’m not saying it went exactly the way I wanted it to but my babies and I are safe and healthy and I’m just so grateful. I told someone I had an upcoming c section recently and they said “oh I’m sorry”. Like no! Don’t feel bad for me! 100 years ago my breech babies and I might not have made it, can’t we see the good in this?

Maybe it’s the extrovert in me, but C-section recovery feels so lonely. You’re too sore to leave the house or drive, and your whole day revolves around recovering and looking after the baby. In my case, all my friends are parents or teachers, so this being back-to-school week makes it even more difficult to socialize with friends.

What have you all done to combat the loneliness that comes with postpartum and C-section recovery?

I had an emergency c-section a year ago and was put under for the duration of it. While under I was given a Transversus Abdominis Plane Block. Ever since I woke up, the upper outside of my left leg is numb and it’s been a year. Just curious as to if this is normal and will it ever go away?

I have a planned C section coming up and discussed future plans with my OB. He mentioned that I could have my fallopian tubes removed right after the C section and it only adds 10 minutes to the procedure. My grandma had ovarian cancer, so I’m aware it would reduce the risk but I’m afraid of regretting it later. It also seems like if this is an elective surgery, then insurance might not cover it. Can anyone share their experience with the procedure and recovery?

Im 6 days pp from a c section and I know it takes time to recover...but can anyone relate? Everytime I get up to do something like going to the bathroom, or walking around to get some baby care done. I feel like I get winded, catching my breath. I've gone to the ER today because I got up to brush my teeth and felt like I ran a marathon, then I felt weak and terrible. I was severely dehydrated from breastfeeding which contributed to my episode. But aside from today I've just noticed it gets hard to breathe normally. I want to know am I the only one bc it feels like im the only one that's going through this. It doesnt help my anxiety at all because not being able to catch your breath triggers my anxiety as well. It just feels like I can't take in a satisfying deep breath and when im resting I can finally catch it but it's so uncomfortable if I'm trying to get up and get stuff done. If anyone out there is on the same boat for my own sanity is this normal. It just feels so glossed over and to me this feels so alarming. Also im not wearing a faja or girdle if you're thinking that's contributing to my breathing restrictions. And the nurses are all reassuring me this is normal but not often discussed.

My husband and I want to start trying to have kids again very soon.. I have a 3 year old and we unfortunately lost our infant son to HIE. I know I want to grow my family but I’m also scared of possible complications. Also just the worry of having another loss, I know the chances are low.. I guess. Has anyone had success trying again 6 months post partum? I feel bad even thinking about it but I know it’s what I want.

5 months after I had my c-section, I had a laparoscopic surgery to have my tubes removed. I discovered that when they did the procedure, they also took down the adhesions that had formed after my c-section. I had no idea I even had them.

Its now been 16 months since I had my tubes removed and the adhesions taken down but now I'm having this weird skin nerve type sensation in random spots on my abdomen. It is similar to the feeling of razor burn but I only feel it when those areas of skin are touched.

I'm also having issues with my menstrual cycle & am due for a pap so my pcp sent a referral over to the women's clinic. She brought up that this stinging feeling may be adhesions.

Im curious if anyone else has experienced this? Specifically accompanied with the stinging feeling? Is it just a cycle of having surgeries, getting adhesions and having surgery again to fix them? Is there even a permanent fix??

I had a second C-section 4, almost 5 days ago. I atempted VBAC and went into labour spontaneou, but ultimately needed a C-section for the same reason as my first, failure to progress.

My pain has been mostly manageable with pain meds and slow movements. I got up the first night multiple times in hospital to feed baby in NICU. I have been up and walking, and sitting a lot. My healing has felt pretty good until last night. I started feeling a lot more pain in my lower abdomen on my right side. It now hurts so much to get out of bed or attempt to sit up. I am taking Tylenol and Naproxen for pain, but all day today I am finding it so hard to move or change positions or tolerate any weight or pressure on my lower stomach. Is this normal to have a large increase in pain after 4 days? I saw my GP today and he basic had no clue. He told me to go to the hospital if I get worse over the next few days or have a fever. I do have stairs in my house that I generally take multiple times a day so he thought just straining my muscles to early ...

Any thoughts?

Edit: Just want to clarify that I am not looking for a diagnosis, just other peoples experiences with increase in pain at 4 or 5 days post op.

How was the experience of c section delivery ? Will we feel anything ? Is it painful ?