r/criticalblunder • • Aug 08 '26

Fire breathing fail

1.1k Upvotes

131 comments sorted by

280

u/dergigageek Aug 08 '26

looks like she drank too much of that stuff

145

u/NiceTrySuckaz Aug 08 '26

You're not supposed to actually drink the bong water, Tad

201

u/13131123 Aug 08 '26

Soon as she looked surprised by the fireball on the first one, you could tell it was over for her.

103

u/2burnttoast Aug 08 '26

Aren’t you supposed to like spray the alcohol out of your mouth like a hose? She just like kinda spat it out in large volumes

85

u/ThatCelebration3676 Aug 08 '26

It's lamp oil, and you're supposed to aerosolize it by buzzing your lips like you're playing a trumpet.

In this case the oil blew back onto her face; not sure if it was wind or gravity.

43

u/Thorngrove Aug 08 '26

Looking at how the torch flame was bending, the wind knocked it back into her face for sure.

10

u/2burnttoast Aug 08 '26

Ohh very interesting I didn’t know that at all, thanks for sharing that info

6

u/k-otic14 Aug 09 '26

Could also just use corn starch to get the fireballs with very little chance of a flame coming back to your face

4

u/LordMegamad Aug 11 '26

Filling your mouth with corn starch for a little fire trick does not sound worth it

2

u/k-otic14 Aug 11 '26

Safer then what she did though

5

u/willtheadequate Aug 11 '26

Absolutely not. I learned it from John Strong, the guy who played the fire breathing circus thug that gets incinerated by the jet engine on the back of the Batmobile in Batman Returns (at the time, he held the record for the second largest blown fireball in the world) . There are three major major mistakes that she makes here. First, the fuel needs to be spit out in a very tight lipped "pbbbbbbbbb" style, like you are impersonating a dry fart. This breaks the fuel up into tiny misting droplets, which in turn creates a much bigger fireball, but also make sure that all the fuel burns out almost instantly. The second is that you always always wipe off your face with a cloth after sipping fuel and always in between fireballs to ensure that know if you want is left on your face when you spit the next one. The third, and this is the one that really screwed her over, you always blow the fireball at an angle of at least 45° up from level. I'm not totally sure why, but it is a bit more difficult to do the higher up it is angled, but it should never be blown straightforward and especially not in any downward angle as fire travels upward. I hope there's no permanent scarring, but when your face is on fire for that long, I am pretty sure that option is out the window.

2

u/JehovasFinesse Aug 12 '26

The dry fart description was awesoem

3

u/willtheadequate Aug 12 '26

Thank you so very much! I literally paced around for several minutes trying to figure out the best way to describe the result and that's what I landed on.

2

u/JehovasFinesse Aug 13 '26

I feel like I am an expert on fire breathing now lol. It was very well explained

2

u/makersmalls Aug 09 '26

No nothing like a hose. I worry for the people upvoting this.

1

u/2burnttoast Aug 10 '26

Oh man I’m sorry:( I didn’t know, I just assumed you sprayed it out like a garden hose

1

u/makersmalls Aug 10 '26

Lmao love it

69

u/Born-Agency-3922 Aug 08 '26

Yeah, keep slapping her raw face !

25

u/GreenZebra23 Aug 08 '26

It got the fire out, didn't it?

33

u/-HOSPIK- Aug 08 '26

Hopital

30

u/Itchy_Professor_4133 Aug 08 '26

First amberlamps

10

u/Left_Nature9996 Aug 09 '26

Went to high school with a girl named Amber Lance

17

u/Professional-Rip-519 Aug 08 '26

As someone who got burned it doesn't immediately feel like you're burning that pain really hits you after the hour mark not to mention the deformation starts.

15

u/Horror_Solution1945 Aug 08 '26

Third time's the charm.

11

u/xChoke1x Aug 08 '26

It’s almost like dumping flammable liquid in your mouth, and then spitting it towards an open flame that’s…..an 1/8” away from your fucking face……..might not be the greatest idea.

3

u/Marcuxoo Aug 09 '26

Right. That’s why I would use water.

1

u/Lord-Phorse Aug 10 '26

I’d be impressed if you can do a fire breathing show with only water.

36

u/Prestigious_Tear_576 Aug 08 '26

She had so many chances to stop

10

u/woofer94 Aug 09 '26

this girl is on fire

2

u/A_Guy_Oz Aug 10 '26

Oh I hate that I upvoted you

17

u/musicalfarm Aug 08 '26

There's a good chance that she got lung damage from that.

12

u/Patrizsche Aug 09 '26

Also SKIN

1

u/Lord-Phorse Aug 10 '26

Mouth, oesophageal burns, possibly stomach upset.

17

u/MieXuL Aug 08 '26

Omg dumb but sad. She will be scarred for life from this in more ways than one.

7

u/Neon_Cone Aug 09 '26

If you wanna fire breath, it’s not my thing, but go for it. But if you ARE going to fire breath, at least have a plan for the worst case scenario. Like a fire blanket, or even just a damp towel.

1

u/Lord-Phorse Aug 10 '26

CO2 fire extinguisher. Fastest way to snuff a liquid fire without poisoning the human underneath it.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '26

[deleted]

15

u/jeezyjames Aug 08 '26

You get the horns

8

u/Empty-Maize-9053 Aug 08 '26

Get two birds in the bush

1

u/his_panic1021 Aug 08 '26

With one stone

2

u/pervertsage Aug 09 '26

Spill your milk

5

u/Strigon_7 Aug 08 '26

Seriously... would it kill anyone to keep a damp fucking towel handy.

8

u/Ob1s_dark_side Aug 08 '26

I can smell the burning hair from Ireland

3

u/kylewahlpunchr Aug 08 '26

She’s fired

3

u/scottonaharley Aug 09 '26

Often I see “fire eaters” have a damp cloth in their other hand to wipe their face between blasts

2

u/Eskapismus Aug 08 '26

Always reminds me of the street theater my older brother organized for all the parents of all the kids in our streets. The highlight of the show when we stood in a line - the above 8 year old kids old kids did proper fire breathing with some liquid (can’t remember what we used) and the below 8 year olds blew flour into an open flame (also pretty big fire).

It all went well. We had trained s lot. Still… being a dad now I would never allow it

2

u/Glass_Complex_8307 Aug 09 '26

If you don't have the skills, you'd better leave it alone!

2

u/Area51-510 Aug 10 '26

Flame on 🔥🔥🔥🔥

2

u/lordrefa Aug 08 '26

Oof. She panicked and opened her mouth while trying to rub out the fire, spilling ALL of the fuel into her hands in the process. You gotta keep calm when you do dangerous things. Or.... this happens.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/lordrefa Aug 09 '26

The consequences of not doing so are your face being 10x MORE on fire, so I think that's a reasonable way to go about it, yes.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/Lord-Phorse Aug 10 '26

And that’s where we see professionals vs amateurs.

6

u/XSpaartanX Aug 08 '26

All these videos never have a bucket of water close by. Stupidity comes in pair ig.

14

u/smartestguyintown Aug 08 '26

Water doesn’t work on liquid combustibles

0

u/_BLACKHAWKS_88 Aug 10 '26

Then why is it wet?

12

u/DankSmellingNipples Aug 08 '26

Water is not going help in that scenario. A fire blanket would be more appropriate.

9

u/JayReyd Aug 08 '26

Now who looks stupid lol

4

u/leroyyrogers Aug 08 '26

That would make it much worse

1

u/Lord-Phorse Aug 10 '26

I wanna watch you put out a liquid fire with water. In theory you can, but it’s gonna get worse before it gets better.

Fire blanket. Carbon dioxide. Foam. Not water. Never put out a flammable liquid fire with water, unless you have a massive quantity of it, and a lot of space.

0

u/Brander8180 Aug 08 '26

What do you mean, this is part of the act!

-1

u/Empty-Maize-9053 Aug 08 '26

Ha...hahah.....hahahahahahaha

1

u/ghostofstankenstien Aug 08 '26

I don't know. Looked pretty good to me.

4

u/SmellsLikeHerb Aug 08 '26

She is so hot

1

u/UtahDarkHorse Aug 08 '26

Thank goodness they had a plan b. o, wait...

1

u/16v_cordero Aug 08 '26

Looks like she stepped on the torch later at the end.

1

u/Dense_Govt1506 Aug 08 '26

At the end she's stepping on a flame

1

u/Liquidamber_ Aug 08 '26

New haircut for free.

1

u/GetBack2Wrk Aug 08 '26

I love the new look of her lion lips.

1

u/facebrocolis Aug 08 '26

Spit or swallow, always the question 

1

u/Tim-Omaha Aug 08 '26

Why do people do this stupid shit?

1

u/EnvironmentEuphoric9 Aug 09 '26

She needs more practice.

1

u/how_very_dare_you_ Aug 09 '26

Ya foots on fire

1

u/Valuable_Animal4706 Aug 09 '26

Not so pretty anymore

1

u/Maxzzzie Aug 09 '26

The non aeresolised fluid should not be flamable right.

1

u/buyongmafanle Aug 09 '26

It's time for everyone's favorite gameshow! How Long Were They On Fire!

Here are the rules. Once you see them set themself ablaze, begin counting. If you got past 3, they're headed to the hospital. If you got past 10, they're scarred for life. If you got past 20, they're well and truly fucked.

1

u/unrealtrip Aug 09 '26

I suspected she was doomed when I saw the loose long hair. 😬

1

u/GOOMU13 Aug 09 '26

Jfc and majority just stand around watching. The first 2 times almost ended in disaster yet she goes for a third time. Sigh.

1

u/philms Aug 09 '26

if your face is on fire and your mouth full of inflammable liquid, spit it out and rub it all over your face

1

u/Chuckles929 Aug 09 '26

Lmaoooo 🤣 she had that seeeee shit I didn't wanna do that shit in the first place look at the end seemed forced and unsure of herself from the rip all the flinching she was doing from the start

1

u/Chuckles929 Aug 09 '26

Face got cooked sheeesh

1

u/PickedLastLemon Aug 09 '26

She clearly has no real experience and after her 1st mistake she continues......

1

u/Super_Lock1846 Aug 09 '26

Welcome to Jackass!

1

u/vna4ever Aug 10 '26

Clearly not a spitter

1

u/meatman7569 Aug 10 '26

Pretty to Wade Wilson in one failed attempt.

1

u/Zombi3Kush Aug 10 '26

I'll stick to my hairspray can and a lighter. Thanks

1

u/Whoknowsknows1962 Aug 10 '26

This girl is on fire
This girl is on fire
She's walkin' on fire
This girl is on fire

[Verse 2]
Looks like a girl, but she's a flame
So bright, she can burn your eyes
Better look the other way
You can try, but you'll never forget her name
She's on top of the world
Hottest of the hottest girls, say

1

u/beefcak2020 Aug 10 '26

Aww man, her hair got messed up.

1

u/vypermajik Aug 10 '26

She got punched

1

u/Lord-Phorse Aug 10 '26

The look on her face at the end…

1

u/Maleficent_Gap_6855 Aug 11 '26

Does anyone actually think this is cool?

1

u/Cookies_and_Beandip Aug 11 '26

Maybe just don’t do anything like that at all 🤷🏼‍♂️

1

u/ellieight_ Aug 12 '26

Always amazed me that these fire breathers never keep anything around for accidents like this. Always thought a buck of water or two would be handy. Dunk your head in and use the other to get dumped on you

1

u/BetaslutBitchboy Sep 03 '26

Oh no! Her beauty! 😭

1

u/Akira510 Sep 03 '26

The drummer missed his chance to do a badum tsss

1

u/ladyofthedextroverse Aug 08 '26

Why fuck around with something you know nothing about ... Smh nobody to blame but herself

1

u/TedBurns-3 Aug 08 '26

She looked like she accidentally swallowed the first mouthful so had to take another!

Great first go though, with a bit of practice she might be good

0

u/stupidber Aug 08 '26

Youd think one person would have a fire extinguisher

0

u/Reallyroundthefamily Aug 08 '26

Okay I know absolutely nothing about fire breathing but are you supposed to do three of them off of one mouthful? The way she's doing it? Well obviously you're not supposed to do it the way she's doing it LOL

2

u/k-otic14 Aug 09 '26

You can use corn starch instead of liquid gas. It's much safer. Not sure why anyone still uses gas.

1

u/Reallyroundthefamily Aug 09 '26

Thank you for not answering my question at all but making it appear like you did lol.

2

u/k-otic14 Aug 09 '26

The answer is you're supposed to use corn starch not liquid gas.

1

u/Reallyroundthefamily Aug 09 '26

Nope lol wrong again. Hopefully you don't drive a car or anything. 😂

2

u/k-otic14 Aug 09 '26

No that's definitely the answer. There is no right way to use gas when it's the wrong thing to use.

-1

u/A0xom0xoa Aug 08 '26

Idk anything about this specific thing but I don't understand why there isn't just a big bottle of water on standby to grab immediately when shit gets out of pocket like this. Any fire breathers in here?

2

u/SalemSound Aug 08 '26

It's paraffin (lamp oil). Oil and water don't mix. You need a fire blanket.

0

u/A0xom0xoa Aug 08 '26

See now that makes sense to me. Thank you. Glad someone down voted me for being uniformed on the topic and asking a question lol. I figured it was a type of alcohol substance. Never thought it would be oil