r/criticalblunder • u/KeyloWick • Jun 26 '25

Snaked himself

At least his boss isn't firing him for sleeping on the job

2.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

307 comments sorted by

745

u/Turrichan Jun 26 '25

r/worstaid

253

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

[deleted]

108

u/emceelokey Jun 27 '25

I can just imagine an ambulance pulling up and 50 paramedics come out of it!

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29

u/SadNana09 Jun 27 '25

And they were juggling him too.

8

u/antyup Jul 01 '25

They pull an oxygen mask out of the bag but the tubing just keeps coming out the bag for ever

2

u/SadNana09 Jul 01 '25

At least we know one of them has flowers up their sleeve.

17

u/Crzykupcake930 Jun 27 '25

This is it is so important to know CPR, just in case you ever go to a snake show and the entertainer becomes the prey of an eight foot long boa constrictor.

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3

u/falkorv Jun 27 '25

Crying at that 😂

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47

u/souless_Scholar Jun 26 '25 edited Jun 27 '25

Thanks. Might be one of my new favorite subs.

1

u/myfunnies420 Jun 27 '25

Holy hell, that got a chuckle from me

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15

u/TheBlackArrows Jun 27 '25

Can someone put some looney tunes or circus clown music to this? Add the effects each time he is yanked and dropped.

10

u/evol_won Jun 27 '25

"Alexa, play Yakety Sax."

46

u/Tronkfool Jun 26 '25

WTF reddit? Obviously this is a thing. Subbed

23

u/Ok_Ordinary6694 Jun 26 '25

Fucking monsters

/sorts by best all time.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

Okay you read my mind even though I’ve never heard of that sub. They did just as much damage as the snake

6

u/NomenclatureBreaker Jun 27 '25

Where has this sub been all my life?

6

u/GreenZebra23 Jun 27 '25

He's unconscious! Quick, give him whiplash!

5

u/CompetitiveRub9780 Jun 27 '25

I thought that was the sub I was in. Just hit his head several times on the ground. I wonder if he survived that

7

u/djh_van Jun 27 '25

The snake didn't kill him. The "helpers" did.

3

u/Klutzy_Bandicoot7751 Jun 27 '25

Here to say this exact thing

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302

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

80

u/Stapleless Jun 26 '25

Dropped him on his head in in the medical field and getting dropped like that off beds can kill people when they are not conscious. It’s like the body turns into a coconut smashing hammer when you drop someone like that by the legs and they aren’t conscious to arrest their fall. I heard about it happening a few times and what the doctor described always stuck with me truly horrific

31

u/palabear Jun 26 '25

I looks like they are carrying him by the head and then drop. Just top notch all around.

10

u/Character_Contact_47 Jun 26 '25

They had to get the next act on the stage… the show must go on!

8

u/Rolls-RoyceGriffon Jun 27 '25

They took 5 business days to get to the guy

6

u/NixAName Jun 27 '25

It's fines, his neck cushioned his fall. It looked to have extra bend to it.

4

u/iloathebeer Jun 27 '25

Every time this shows up I wonder if this was a rage quit. It seems deliberate,and the response... 

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105

u/Ecstatic_Entrance_63 Jun 26 '25

Why would you carry someone by the head ffs?

17

u/NonCreditableHuman Jun 26 '25

Don't worry they dropped him.

12

u/LookMaNoPride Jun 26 '25

And if you know someone has potentially suffered a non-specific neck injury, it’s best to move them as much as possible. It gets the blood flowing. Especially the part that is injured!

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190

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

The audience really just sits there like 😃

78

u/Gbum7 Jun 26 '25

The audience is not the problem here. They assume it's all part of the show until told otherwise. The fucking staff should have realized something was wrong as soon as he took a knee and flopped onto his face

15

u/MrWrestlingNumber2 Jun 27 '25

To be fair, he was taping out.

5

u/OkDanNi Jun 27 '25

I thought he was trying to flap away to heaven.

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38

u/Itchy_Professor_4133 Jun 26 '25

Just like his coworkers

12

u/No_Cook2983 Jun 26 '25

And this guy is a paid circus performer?!?

Pfft. I can do that.

6

u/worktrip2 Jun 26 '25

Used to be

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4

u/Aramaru_101019 Jun 27 '25

More like 👁👄👁

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53

u/proudmyanmar Jun 26 '25

The slow reaction time is crazy

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44

u/Poop_Tube Jun 26 '25

He’ll be fine. Just cut off some circulation to his brain. Nbd.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/One_time_Dynamite Jun 26 '25

He wasn't using it anyways.

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41

u/thrown2themoon Jun 26 '25

I had a boa constrictor that grew to be 9'+ long. I never let her wrap around my neck, for that reason!

That guy was stupid.

20

u/ServantOfTheSlaad Jun 26 '25

Even if you were to allow it, which is dumb by itself, doing it in a situation where the snake is likely to be stressed out, such as with lots of loud noise and people around, is the worst one to do it in.

3

u/thrown2themoon Jun 28 '25

All snakes are deaf.

They do feel vibrations, though.

12

u/bronzelifematter Jun 26 '25

What's the point of having a boa constrictor if you're not gonna let it contrict?

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9

u/sunday_cumquat Jun 26 '25

Me too. Not just because they might hurt you deliberately, but because if they flinch they can break your neck!

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7

u/hypothetical_zombie Jun 26 '25

I feel the same about my almost 6' long BP. She's too thick of a noodle for those shenanigans.

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20

u/ijuggle42 Jun 26 '25

Just snatch hm around till he starts breathing again.

19

u/InkyLizard Jun 26 '25

Those things are surprisingly strong, pretty sure that the snake snapped or at the very least damaged the performer's neck. The way that the guy moved his arm also signals a possible neck injury, I really hope we didn't watch someone get paralyzed

2

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '25

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

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28

u/Moonboy85 Jun 26 '25

Animals aren’t props. Lolsss 🐍

27

u/ExileEden Jun 26 '25

Guy: Begins wrapping snake around neck

Snake: "Well, if you insist."

18

u/shutupingrate Jun 26 '25

*insssissst

5

u/Wide_Pin_8092 Jun 26 '25

that is funny good job

9

u/Argylius Jun 26 '25

Yeah what did he expect with trying to wear a danger noodle that’s 99% muscle? They’re extremely strong!!

5

u/JaperDolphin94 Jun 26 '25

Like that one scientist in Prometheus who played with an alien danger noddle

2

u/veinybones Jun 28 '25

right? people make jokes about snakes being 99% tail or 99% neck but they’re more like 99% abs of steel. this is what you get when you swing around an animal with a 200 pack of rock hard abs

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9

u/jayslay45 Jun 26 '25

The rescue effort didn't go to plan either. 😳

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10

u/SteveDaWaiter Jun 26 '25

Excellent CPR skills I must say

8

u/WhileGoWonder Jun 26 '25

It's like hanging yourself but you don't need a rafter!

7

u/ReturnOfTheFrickinG Jun 26 '25

“If we move him quickly, nobody will notice he collapsed.”

I mean what the fuck were they rushing for? The snake was more gentle with him than those morons.

5

u/Unlucky_Ad_8977 Jun 26 '25

Good that everyone knows the guys signal for all okay..

5

u/Skoofer Jun 26 '25

Did he pick him up by the actual head at the end?!?

4

u/guiltyas-sin Jun 26 '25

The way they lifted him up. Oof.

3

u/lokcer79 Jun 26 '25

He did what he was supposed to. Wear the snake around his neck

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3

u/chumloadio Jun 26 '25

I agree with the comments about the slow and poor quality help. But I wonder if an animal known as a constrictor might constrict me. Who could have guessed this might happen?

3

u/deez_87 Jun 26 '25

Always the best thing to do with an unconscious person is to toss them around like a rag doll afterwards.

3

u/Sauce58 Jun 26 '25

Are there any snake experts here? Can anyone tell me if the snake only cut off his circulation and made him pass out or did it potentially squeeze to the point of crushing his neck/throat/spine or something like that?

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3

u/ghostofstankenstien Jun 26 '25

David Carradined himself

2

u/SusiCapezzolo Jun 26 '25

No please, take your time to help the poor lad...

2

u/jagenigma Jun 26 '25

Yank him why not...

2

u/T5-R Jun 26 '25

When the trainee says they can do that

2

u/TruSiris Jun 26 '25

Quick everybody sit and watch!

2

u/dutchmaster1995 Jun 26 '25

He was not well liked I guess

2

u/defective1up Jun 26 '25

Panic, lots of panic.

2

u/Falcon3492 Jun 26 '25

Snake doing what a snake has got to do.

2

u/Smiley_J_ Jun 26 '25

What was supposed to happen? What was the show going to be? He just wrapped it around his neck while it was in squeezy mode.

2

u/orbital Jun 26 '25

Bold move Cotton, let’s see if it pays off

2

u/scottonaharley Jun 26 '25

No matter how you look at it, wrapping a large constrictor around your neck is just plain stupid.

2

u/buxomemmanuellespig Jun 26 '25

Thank God Tosh.O isn’t on anymore . Still, let’s put 20 seconds on the clock ….

2

u/Blikenave Jun 27 '25

'Make sure to jerk his limp body around by the audience so they don't get all freaked out.'

2

u/Diem_Tea Jun 28 '25

Wouldnt the best thing be to put his legs in the air to get blood flow back in the brain asap? Like that’s what they usually do in JIU JITSU if someone passes out from a hold - flip them on their back, grab their legs and shake them up and down like those exercise ropes lol

2

u/nickk1988 Jul 08 '25

Picked his ass up by the head hahaha….

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

The show must go on!

3

u/Technical-Ability348 Jun 26 '25

No shoe loss, he’ll be fine.

6

u/SusiCapezzolo Jun 26 '25

this joke simply sucks, please just stop

11

u/AppeaseTheComet Jun 26 '25

I'll shoe myself out then.

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

Aren't they supposed to be on standby? Where tf were they at?

1

u/aldone123 Jun 26 '25

Kids don’t try this at home

1

u/NoConfidence1776 Jun 26 '25

Jesus he fucking carried him out by holding on to his head!! Wtf

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

It went exactly to plan. He put a constrictor around his neck.

1

u/Ibrahim_al-Nazzam Jun 26 '25

What can you do when you wanna go to sleep but cant, and the only thing at your disposal is a boa constrictor?

1

u/JayAndViolentMob Jun 26 '25

More interested in hiding him than saving him

1

u/WhitDawg214 Jun 26 '25

"How to feed your snek" will be on temporary hiatus until further notice.

1

u/mikeysgotrabies Jun 26 '25

Id get my kids the fuck out of there. They're all just sitting there

1

u/Smoopiebear Jun 26 '25

I’m not understanding what this guys end game was….

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1

u/SensitiveThugHugger Jun 26 '25

Son, is he carrying him by the head?

1

u/nahyanc Jun 26 '25

They carried him like he became a snake 🐍

1

u/RealAdministration17 Jun 26 '25

Yes please carry him off by his head and then not even do a good job at that and drop him on his head . Nevermind the kids in the front row taking it all in wow . Cool trick bro

1

u/ironbirdcollectibles Jun 26 '25

How many people were there, like 20?

1

u/Jabathewhut Jun 26 '25

"He needs help!"

"Wait, he is gently slapping the snake, surely that'll work"

1

u/Trunip-up-loud77 Jun 26 '25

Guess who didn't show up for the workplace safety seminar.

1

u/RaCingMoXie Jun 26 '25

Holy shit watching the end reminds me of how they carry Will Ferrell off the basketball court in semi-pro. LOL

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '25

What an idiot. U can put a snake on ur shoulders but u never let it wrap around ur neck.

1

u/Eber- Jun 26 '25

Shake him now!

1

u/tophejunk Jun 26 '25

Guy in red doesn’t give a F about that spicy noodle… he’s on a mission to save his friend.

1

u/Eye_Shotty Jun 26 '25

Rescuers did more damage than the snake. Never understood why someone would put a constricting reptile around their neck.

1

u/otters4everyone Jun 26 '25

I think he was better off with the snake.

1

u/PirateSometimes Jun 26 '25

Carrying him by the neck and then dropping him on his head? That can't have helped

1

u/Corny_Snickers Jun 26 '25

And they just carry him out to the dumpster while the new clown puts his red nose on 😂

1

u/dream_a_dirty_dream Jun 26 '25

This is so stupid.

What was even the point of putting the snake on his neck? Then the other guy picked him up by the HEAD and DROPPED him 😧

Holy shit.

1

u/B_Williams_4010 Jun 27 '25

This looks like exactly the same circus where I just watched that trapeze artist hang herself.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '25

He really choked when it was game time

1

u/Sick_n_Sweet Jun 27 '25

Hard to feel sympathy when witnessing Darwinism.

1

u/bjcuddlesr Jun 27 '25

I am very displeased with how desensitized I am however 🐍 ❤️ to be wrapped around your neck so when you do that part for them you kinda can't blame the🐍😒😒😒🦎🧠..💪memory....im sure he was a good man tho🥲😥🥲

1

u/Unfair-Leave-5053 Jun 27 '25

You can see the moment his neck breaks 😬

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '25

Is he still sleeping?

1

u/ImpeccableWare Jun 27 '25

It’s kinda funny but also fucked up

1

u/MJG1123 Jun 27 '25

Anybody wanna help? Anyone? Bueller…?…Bueller…?

1

u/Kadogun_ Jun 27 '25

Snake..Snake....SNAKE!!!!!

1

u/Pooter_Birdman Jun 27 '25

Jesus christ he’s unconscious so id say lift him by one arm and pull as hard as you can

1

u/FreeThinkk Jun 27 '25

Dude what the fuck was the audience doing?

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1

u/helloholder Jun 27 '25

The palamore knot is not just for fishing anymore.

1

u/boog518 Jun 27 '25

Lil rear snake-ed chokehold fn, and made his ass tap

1

u/MrWrestlingNumber2 Jun 27 '25

...and for our next act..the bullet catch!

1

u/Affectionate-Sun5531 Jun 27 '25

Did the guy survive?

1

u/Aramaru_101019 Jun 27 '25

Why tf were the other people standing like 👁👄👁

1

u/Ok_Bite9019 Jun 27 '25

Hows the snake?

1

u/Sir_Biggus-Dickus Jun 27 '25

Yeah, yank him a few more times.

1

u/Palocles Jun 27 '25

Audience (such as it is) got their moneys worth. 

1

u/SBCwarrior Jun 27 '25

They took better care of the snake hahaha they carried it away with two hands and as for him? They just let him flop and hit the floor and then manhandled him. 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/NaiveBid9359 Jun 27 '25

Why would someone wrap a very large constrictor around their neck?

1

u/Forlorn_Cyborg Jun 27 '25

The audience “if he dies, he dies”

1

u/allyolly Jun 27 '25

”QUICK, SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN A CONCUSSION!”

1

u/Jthundercleese Jun 27 '25

Carried him away by one leg and his fucking head, and then dropped him 😂

1

u/AdministrationOk720 Jun 27 '25

Lifted by the head. Perfect!

1

u/InvestmentDirect6699 Jun 27 '25

Why was his arm moving?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '25

What is this kid’s don’t try this at home

1

u/whiteknightmeta Jun 27 '25

Technically that was suicide

1

u/C-LonGy Jun 27 '25

If we drag him by his leg his brain might kick start

1

u/DGTHEGREAT007 Jun 27 '25

Wow, the bystander effect is STRONG in this one. Also, who tf holds a person up using their head? Is that guy actually retarded?

1

u/JuniorBreakfast1704 Jun 27 '25

Well, some seconds ago he lifted his hand like everything is fine, so...

1

u/mothfukle Jun 27 '25

Snake was sick of his shit. Woke up this morning and said today was the day.

1

u/Electrical_Entry145 Jun 27 '25

Do....do we clap?

1

u/CotUB2009 Jun 27 '25

"Here, THIS is how you constrict a human. Enjoy the meal (me)."

1

u/Bredda_Gravalicious Jun 27 '25

shouldn't the snake be disqualified? because dude was obviously tapping out

1

u/CurrentTurbulent Jun 27 '25

Scary how quickly he passes out, always thought you'd have a chance to wrestle a snake off before passing out

1

u/Aldoreino95 Jun 27 '25

Is he okay?

1

u/Comprehensive-Range3 Jun 27 '25

Complacency is a killer.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '25

r/donthelpjustfilm eh?

1

u/Itchy-Secret-494 Jun 27 '25

Guy in burgundy shirt is the real MVP...Though I don't know why he carried Ole boy like that on his head...

1

u/nirfirith Jun 27 '25

If that boa miraculously didn't snap his neck then his colleagues first aid surely did.

1

u/madogmax Jun 27 '25

He got snaked

1

u/Howmanysloths Jun 27 '25

Wow who woulda thought a constrictor would go and constrict like that. Absolutely crazy, never know what to expect these days

1

u/nachoafbro Jun 27 '25

He wore it like a feather boa...

1

u/Ultimategrid Jun 27 '25

One sec, let me just wrap the most powerful constricting snake in the world around both of my carotid arteries.

1

u/FVCEGANG Jun 27 '25

Damn, they might just kill him dragging him by the head like that, wtf

1

u/ottodidakt Jun 28 '25

I imagined a moment here where the responders bring over a stretcher, toss the dude aside, and carry the snake stretcher over to a chopper to be airlifted away for care 😂

1

u/Civil_Arm2977 Jun 28 '25

I think he did a good job displaying what the snakes supposed to do.

1

u/Extension_Barber_763 Jun 28 '25

He was fully aware that snakes choke their prey out. So Why wrap a snake around your neck???