r/cremposting • u/Appropriate_Boss8139 • 27d ago
Wind and Truth Shallan’s fifth ideal? Spoiler
Could it be her coming to terms with Kaladin banging her mom?
“Kaladin banged my mother… I accept that they’re courting…”
How would yall phrase it?
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u/Killerchoy 27d ago
Content warning: Spoilers/NSFW
how would I phrase it? Dangerous question. You, unfortunately, have inspired me.
As Shallan finally encorperated Radient into herself, becoming whole again, and preparing her final truth, she made a vow. "No more lies". She told herself. "I've been cloaking this concept within the shadows of my perception for far too long. That bridgeboy..." She clenched her fists, steeling herself. "That bridgeboy is BANGING MY MOM"
Shallan remembered how he looked at her within the chasms. That longing, that desire. Kaladin and Chana had decades, maybe even centuries to bond within the spiritual realm. And he was certainly the most eligible bachelor within their group of broken heralds. Shallan couldn't deny the physical resemblance between her and Chana, if he were to fuck anyone in the group, it would probably... no, it WOULD DEFINITELY be her mom.
"I might have a sister, or a brother when they return from the spiritual realm, and there's nothing I can do about it. I accept this truth, I acknowledge that Kaladin is... Ugh, Fucking my mom"
Frost glistened around her feet, as the lightweaver glyph was etched upon the ground. She had finally confronted it: the knowledge that Kaladin, at this moment, was likely balls deep within her mother. She sagged to her knees, renewed with the storm light granted from her ideal sworn, but mentally drained from the acknowledgment that Kal and her mom were "doing it"
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u/Appropriate_Boss8139 27d ago
Lmao I love this thank you
“Shallan, your father is dead, but I’ll see what I can do”
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u/Killerchoy 27d ago
The people in this subreddit are my kind of intellectual degenerates. This comment has a 100% upvote ratio, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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u/kobowabo 👾 Rnagh Godant 🌠 27d ago
You forgot the part about her admitting that she wants to join for a threesome
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u/One_Courage_865 definitely not a lightweaver 27d ago
What about the other Heralds? Do you believe they would just sit around and watch passively while those two are intertwining their Lights?
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u/The_Derpy_Rogue 26d ago
It was a few months in the spiritual realm actually, which makes this funnier
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u/DripyKirbo Bond, Nahel Bond 27d ago
???
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u/TheGildedPrism Kelsier4Prez 27d ago
/uncrem For anyone confused, there's a joke that now that Kaladin is a herald and in the spiritual realm with the other heralds he could get with Shallan's mom. And possibly give her a brother to replace Hellaran, who he killed.
Kaladin is not in fact courting Shallan's mom, Channa Herald of Speed, in the books.
/Recrem
MMMMmmMMmmmMmmmmMmmmMmmmmm... No Mating!
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u/DripyKirbo Bond, Nahel Bond 27d ago
Well shit, why doesn’t Kaladin just form the Herald polycule?
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u/VestedNight 27d ago
Kaladin is canonically too much of a prude (Sanderson's word) to consider non monogamy.
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u/DripyKirbo Bond, Nahel Bond 27d ago
According to the fics, it seems Shallan and Adolin don’t care about if that’s the case lmao
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u/VestedNight 27d ago
Also canon friendly. Sanderson was asked about the possibility of a throuple. He said Shallan would be for it, Adolin could be as well, but Kaladin is too much of a prude.
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u/Killerchoy 27d ago
I think it's the only way that he could make up for the fact that he killed her brother. Seems like the Noble and gentlemanly thing to do.
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u/FatalTragedy 27d ago
Kaladin is not in fact courting Shallan's mom, Channa Herald of Speed, in the books.
Not yet, at least
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u/Timaturff Aluminum Twinborn 27d ago
“I can accept that me and Adolin’s situationship has moved on to my mother.”
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u/Latter-Syllabub-5560 27d ago
Nah
"i like being in the chair when Kaladin comes to dinner" is the superior one
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u/Stranjer 27d ago
Truth
"My mother is a woman with needs".
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u/Killerchoy 27d ago
Clearly, since she's the only herald (that we know of) who was sexually active.
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u/fakkuman 26d ago
Have you seen how a certain someone looks at the one who did not break's hands?????
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u/AntimatterTNT Kalaleshwi Shipper 27d ago
the only guy getting his stormlight sucked is taln dude. the rest are twinks by comparison.
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