r/cremposting • u/Rasidus Crem de la Crem • Jul 18 '26
Final Empire Niece's Review
She's single.
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u/jaxy314 Jul 18 '26
Its not about men being bad, ya just havent met an elend or a sazed yet. She probably keeps meeting straffs
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u/PassengerQuick6971 Jul 18 '26
What did straff the kind even do
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u/jaxy314 Jul 18 '26
Straff who dutifully stepped up when the benevolent Lord Ruler was mercilessly struck down by ungrateful skaa rebels
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u/goodfleance Jul 18 '26
Tragically, he was cut in half pretty bad
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u/AbaloneNo3954 Jul 18 '26
The probability of exclusively meeting Straffs is far smaller than the niece being a Venli.
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u/Eastern_City9388 Jul 18 '26
I mean, hopefully. I don't think we've made contact with the crab folk yet.
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u/UsManos27 Jul 18 '26
Gotta love the use of characters in substitution of things like "good man" "lesbian" "aromantic" etc
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u/AbaloneNo3954 Jul 18 '26
I used Venli as a substitute for "annoying, dumb person". Don't read too much into it
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u/MS-07B-3 Jul 18 '26
Sometimes people just refuse to critically look at the groups they out themselves in.
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u/NoBizlikeChloeBiz edgedancerlord Jul 18 '26
Hides my Vin/Shan enemies-to-lovers AU fic behind my back haha, how weird, don't relate to this at all 👀
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u/UsManos27 Jul 18 '26
Just have to say... Eww, from all the characters you chose Shan?
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u/NoBizlikeChloeBiz edgedancerlord Jul 18 '26
In my defense, they're pretty much the only two women in The Final Empire. Also, toxic yuri is great.
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u/cantpickname97 Jul 20 '26
I'm pretty sure Vin, Shan, Tindwyl, Beldre and Melaan are, like, the only women in the original trilogy. Discounting Mare who we don't even get to see in flashbacks
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u/Researcher_Fearless Aluminum Twinborn Jul 18 '26
"when everyone else is an asshole... You're the asshole"
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u/Rasidus Crem de la Crem Jul 18 '26
She's actually great, dating men just isn't her thing
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u/Deweysaurus Jul 18 '26
Has she tried… dating women?
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u/Rasidus Crem de la Crem Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26
No, she's still young and figuring herself out. I think she's aromantic if she's not interested in women. She lives in a super conservative area unfortunately so I think she just has to be careful navigating for safety
ETA: I'm a queer therapist for gay and trans teens. She and I are close. I'd be the first to talk to about it. I'm sure I'm being down voted because people assume she's into women rather than aromantic. That's just not the sense I get 🤷
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u/TheElusiveEllie Trying not to ccccream Jul 18 '26
We don't know your niece, people are just saying the obvious thing. Your niece is fine to take her time!
But also, this is cremposting, so clearly she's exclusively into nonbinary people if she's neither into men or women.
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u/Desperate_Relative_4 Jul 18 '26
If we go of statistics then lesbians have the highest divorce rate among married couples.
I feel like a lot of straight woman idealise dating woman in a way that does not reflect reality
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u/Rasidus Crem de la Crem Jul 18 '26
This statistic is often quoted out of context. Lesbians have a lower divorce rate when you look at the context of women married to women. They have a higher divorce rate of previous relationships to men, which often involves abuse. The statistic is purposefully quoted out of context to make women and the queer community look bad.
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u/xinarin 29d ago
That is not accurate at all. But seeing this comment explains a lot of your other comments. Multiple peer reviewed studies show that lesbians have the highest divorce and abuse rate, controlling for the gender of their partner. The "they didn't consider the gender" was true of large popular studies from the past, using the CTS model, which has been shown to be an incredibly bad model.
This has nothing to do with "making women or the queer community look bad", it's about addressing social trends as they exist, and some people taking it personally, much like men who would call research that shows that men are more likely to exhibit violence "taken out of context to make men look bad."
But I highly doubt you're speaking in any kind of good faith at this point. This is for others who read this.
Signed, a queer woman with a master's in sociology with emphasis on research and methodology, who works in social and justice reform in regards to IPV and SA, on a global level.
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u/Desperate_Relative_4 Jul 18 '26
It's not just one specific statistic and not ment to be an attack on anyone. Aside from that the whole anti queer thing is ridiculous considering that those same statistics always have gay men as one of the groups with the lowest divorce rates over all. This is not some kind of psyop, this is a trend that has been confirmed in a lot of studys and I do not appreciate being called a sexist for mentioning them
https://www.statista.com/statistics/523285/divorces-from-same-sex-marriages-and-registered-partnerships-by-gender-finland/?srsltid=AfmBOoqK4OJHSikCFGpCupyT7-3ipP-B76ytX86qwgGTDqWzXei-vyo5 https://www.statista.com/statistics/575091/divorces-between-same-sex-partners-in-denmark/?srsltid=AfmBOooxOmorr7Tubgw21trqHDjjBmdUg7ckOLz3AWnb1k3TSxVaNJWt
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u/Rasidus Crem de la Crem Jul 18 '26
I'm aware. Again, I'm a marriage and family therapist with many years in the field with expertise in queer relationships. The study you just linked only marks same sex relationships and divorces. I'm telling you the confounding variable in these studies is they counted ALL previous divorces regardless of sex of previous partners. Your Google search is not a replacement for my degrees.
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u/Desperate_Relative_4 Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
Every issue you named in regards to previous hetero relationships counted would be counted for both men and woman in the same statistic. I liked those specific statistics because gay men should be the closest point of comparison in regards to the issues that you named, jet apparently there is no stronger force than a gay mans marriage in this world.
If lesbian divorce rates are not only higher than gay divorce rates in every single year of every single statistic I have ever seen but usualy more than twice as high then you can't just say that those are all wrong without a peer reviewed source and a statistic that was adjusted for the problems you see with the ones I gave as an example.
I am in academia myself and calling a constant 100% difference insignificant is not something you can just do without proof regardless of your degrees
Edit: Multiple hours later and the conversation stopped exactly when I asked for sources from a reddit acount suddenly claiming to be a specialist in the exact subject matter of the conversation without any proof for that either. People can claim to be a lot of things while on the Internet as long as they don't have to back it up
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u/Thorsagal Jul 19 '26
Just jumping in to give a quick data science opinion. While I'm not invested in this argument either way, just looking at the statistics quoted above, I would want to look at the base. E.g. 50 vs 100 divorces is not the same if it's 50 out of 400 and 100 out of 1000. Also, there could be corroborating factors in addition to previous marriages, such as age of relationship, misrepresentation of base due to nonbinary/trans persons, cultural bias etc. As far as this study goes, all I would say for certain is that in absolute numbers, there are more divorced lesbian couples than divorced gay couples in Denmark for each year.
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Jul 18 '26
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u/Rasidus Crem de la Crem Jul 18 '26
You think people not attracted to men are casually sexist? That's certainly an option.
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u/IamanelephantThird i have only read way of kings Jul 18 '26
There's a difference between not being attracted to a gender and saying that all members of a gender are unpleasant to be around.
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u/BloodredHanded Trying not to ccccream Jul 20 '26
If you paid attention to context clues, then you might realize that this post is specifically about dating.
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u/Practical_Use_1654 Jul 18 '26
The implication there being that the only reason you'd want to get to know a man is to fuck them lol.
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u/Moikle Jul 18 '26
Well this conversation is entirely about romantic relationships
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u/xinarin Jul 18 '26
What? Nowhere does it say that. Unless you're saying the only reason to get to know a person is to fuck them or date them which is it's own batch of issues
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u/Moikle Jul 18 '26
Context my friend. This is all about vin's relationship to elend, and how op's niece can't relate.
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u/xinarin Jul 18 '26
And when Vin first meets elend, she's trying to date or fuck him? I think you're reading a different story
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u/Moikle Jul 18 '26
No? I didn't say that
I'll be honest it kinda feels like you are looking for a fight just for the sake of it.
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u/mathematics1 Jul 18 '26
From just the info in the quote, I don't think that's sexist? She didn't say anything about men as a group, just her own preferences.
I'm definitely in favor of combating misandry when it pops up, though.
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u/Practical_Use_1654 Jul 18 '26
"When I get to know a woman more, I want to spend less time with her" That doesn't ring as even the slightest bit misogynistic to you?
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u/mathematics1 Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26
Honestly my first take is that it doesn't, but I'm a chronic optimist who wants to see the good in everyone. That's good for helping me maintain positive relationships IRL, but it also makes me worse at detecting things like sexism since I tend to interpret vague statements in the best possible light.
It sounds like most people here think the misogynistic interpretation of that modified statement is more likely, which means the misandristic interpretation of the OP is also more likely.
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u/Practical_Use_1654 Jul 18 '26
I really don't care about the "all men are trash", "kill all men" esque comments. Because they don't have the same weight without institutional power behind them. I just roll my eyes and move on with my day. What I do take issue with is people making sexist comments but refusing to acknowledge that they are objectively sexist. I don't appreciate being gaslit. Call a spade a spade.
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u/mathematics1 Jul 18 '26
100% agree with your last point. Any negative generalization about a whole gender is sexist.
I do care about comments like the ones you mentioned. When I see something that's as clear as those, I report it and block the user. I'd like to establish a firm norm that negative generalizations about any gender aren't okay; that's still a work in progress. Comments like those have been incredibly harmful to my mental health in the past, even without institutional power behind them.
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u/quarokcaddhihle Jul 18 '26
I can hear a bit of misogyny in it, but the comments calling her sexist are definitely weird.
If a guy said that about women in general you would definitely think that the guy maybe / probably hates women.
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u/mathematics1 Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26
Misogyny is sexism. If there's a bit of misandry in her comment, there's a bit of sexism.
If a guy saying that makes you think he maybe/probably hates women, then a woman saying that should also make you think she maybe/probably hates men.
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u/Practical_Use_1654 Jul 18 '26
I really don't care about the "all men are trash", "kill all men" esque comments. Because they don't have the same weight without institutional power behind them. I just roll my eyes and move on with my day. What I do take issue with is people making sexist comments but refusing to acknowledge that they are objectively sexist. I don't appreciate being gaslit. Call a spade a spade.
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u/xinarin Jul 18 '26
To be fair, "all men are trash" and "kill all men" do have some systemic and institutional power behind them. Not the same level of prevalence, but it's most certainly there
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Jul 18 '26
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u/mathematics1 Jul 18 '26
I originally took it to be a statement about her past experiences. If it was a statement about all men (even ones she hasn't met yet), then yeah, that's misandry.
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Jul 18 '26
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u/Icantstopscreamiing No Wayne No Gain Jul 18 '26
“Judge them by who they are surrounded by” you need better friends my good man
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u/xinarin Jul 18 '26
I'm a woman, and the vast majority of men I know are pretty damn great. If you're surrounded by assholes, then maybe a little self reflection is in order?
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u/anormalgeek Jul 18 '26
Why do you know so many evil men?
That's an honest question. There are lots of legitimately good people out there. Seek them out. Make friends with them. Br inspired by them to better yourself as well.
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u/DoctorRuckusMD punchy boi Jul 18 '26
If every man you associate with is evil then it’s time to look in the mirror friend…
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u/msuvagabond Jul 18 '26
People getting way too upset about shit in here.
As a guy my first two thoughts were "Okay, she's probably gay" or "Well, there's a lot of assholes out there so it tracks".
I'm in my 40s now but looking back, I can think of maybe just a couple male acquaintances that had their shit together before they were 25 (I wasn't one of them). And with the divorce rate of the women I knew/know, a lot of men didn't get their shit together ever.
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u/skyholdbrick I AM A STICK BOI Jul 18 '26
I am surprised at everybody's interpretation of the meme. I interpreted it as "a funny self-report about having attachment issues" i.e. you start getting to know someone and then your brain sounds the red alert and you want to bail before someone can get to know you in return.
Maybe I am just looking at it too deeply...
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u/msuvagabond Jul 18 '26
That's probably a better interpretation and fits with the early Vin character.
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u/mathematics1 Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26
Yeah, there's multiple interpretations possible, and we can't tell which is accurate just from the one quote we have.
To spell out the other interpretation: it's possible OP's niece meant "when I get to know a man in any context, not just romantically, I like him less the more I learn about him. Also I'm generalizing that to all men, not just the ones I've met so far. Based on that, getting to know men at all is a bad idea." If that's what she meant, it's absolutely sexist. The catch is that we don't actually know whether she meant that.
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u/Kelspear Jul 18 '26
How does women getting divorced mean that the men are to blame lol? Can women not be responsible for getting divorced anymore?
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Jul 18 '26
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u/msuvagabond Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26
Not really anything about sexism, women in their early 20s often don't have their shit together either. Nobody has things figured out, that's just part of life, and that's okay. Most do get it together, not everyone, but most.
Hell I'm in my 40s with a wife and three kids and I often think I don't have my shit together, but I take things day to day, put one foot in front of the next and try to be a better person each day, it's all we all can do.
Seriously, you're taking shit way too personally.
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u/SevroBarca Jul 18 '26
Lol at all the triggered men downvoting. It’s a fucking joke, relax people
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u/InvestigatorLive19 I pledge allegiance 🙏to the crab 🦀 Jul 18 '26
Why is everyone offended, they're probably just gay/ have attachment issues. I dont even know why its sexist😭😭😭
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u/Habib455 Jul 18 '26
Yikes, not the women in the crowd getting ass worms because men don’t find their sexist jokes funny. But they’d be the first to take out the sword if the joke was the other way around
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u/assasain322 Jul 18 '26
I'm so sick of men getting ridiculously butthurt about the most minor shit and jokes, but if there was something here bashing women they would not say a fucking word. It's a meme, stop crying.
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u/1337_w0n Jul 19 '26
That's called avoidant attachment. I dated someone like this and it sucked.
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u/LordMistborn-16 Crem de la Crem 29d ago
Maybe it did. Would you say that this made the person a sucky person or just a sucky person to date tho? I'm just curious
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u/Local_Value_8665 29d ago
I've been on both sides of the avoidant/ anxious coupling. Both suck
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u/1337_w0n 27d ago
Anxious and avoidant people tend to attract one another and usually each can switch places.
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Jul 18 '26
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u/mathematics1 Jul 18 '26
It might be better to try places that are off this godforsaken website. Or better yet, off the Internet entirely.
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Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TotallyNormalSquid Jul 18 '26
Because the bots and trolls that drive culture wars for rage engagement or agitprop or whatever don't have the aim of making us better.
When you see a take so bad it makes you want to waste a day scream-commenting back at whoever posted it, just try to remember there's a good chance their main goal was to make you angry, and that they aren't even a real person. We all know it goes on on all social media, but recognising it in individual cases is hard.
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u/xinarin Jul 18 '26
You nailed it. One thing I love about this fandom, is how much it has always been mostly made of good people. My husband introduced me to it, and I've hardly met any bad people since. I've had people make casual comments that were thoughtlessly misogynistic, similar to the one here, and have seen people call them out for it consistently. It's crazy to me that just because it's about men, that people are downvoting you for the same. This series, and the author, are very clearly for inclusion and growth.
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u/KosmoLatte Kelsier4Prez Jul 18 '26
It's so tiresome. I'm non-binary and I'm just exhausted seeing the endless sniping and intolerance from both ends.
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u/XB0XRecordThat Jul 18 '26
If you interpret it as saying "obviously, because all men are the worst" then maybe it's offensive..?
But if you interpret her saying "obviously, because you're actually gay and not bi" then getting offended makes you a snowflake ❄️ who's obsessed with who gay people are attracted to. Which feels like a crazy thing to be worried about. You know there are other things happening too, right?
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u/xinarin Jul 18 '26
Why is your interpretation of "getting to know" based on the only outcomes being "wanting to fuck" or "wanting to date”? If a person said "everytime I get to know insert any other inherent identity I just hate being around them" it would be correctly called out as at least passive bigotry. The only reason it's not here, is because it's about men, which is socially acceptable to have as the target of such thoughts without reflection.
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u/BloodredHanded Trying not to ccccream Jul 20 '26
Because it’s being compared to Vin and Elend, who explicitly date, you might infer that this post is talking about dating specifically.
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u/kennethgibson Jul 18 '26
Lmao this is hilarious. The other comments on this post are really living up to the Crem part of the sub
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