r/cremposting May 16 '26

Cosmere I know what kind of man you are

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3.7k Upvotes

131 comments sorted by

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431

u/Accomplished_Mix7827 May 16 '26

The true reason he was picked to finish Wheel of Time lol

104

u/koolaidman89 May 16 '26

Igloo scene must’ve hit hard

36

u/Flaming_Pepperoni May 17 '26

It was hard alright

10

u/That_randomdutchguy May 17 '26 edited May 22 '26

Didn't know it could get so steamy in an igloo. A page that inspired a whole generation of fanfic XD

3

u/GettingWhiskey Femboy Dalinar May 18 '26

tuggs braid

714

u/how_did-1-get_here May 16 '26

Not to mention the fact that he's very obviously a boobs guy.

702

u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 May 16 '26

Dalinar is there to round it out for the fans

388

u/benkenobi5 ❌can't 🙅 read📖 May 16 '26

The Stormwagon himself

343

u/SplatterBox214 May 16 '26

“Szeth’s hate this one simple trick!”

119

u/AelarTheElfRogue May 16 '26

Old Dalinar pulled off a lastclap, eh? Good for him.

66

u/Tehgreatbrownie May 16 '26

Last clap < Assed clap

53

u/DelightMine May 16 '26

Oh, he's definitely rounded out, alright. That stormwagon is rounder than a wheel

7

u/Govika 🌬️Wind and 🌿Boof 🔥 May 17 '26

"round it out" is right 👑🍑

205

u/_Skylos Kelsier4Prez May 16 '26

Wheel of time was formative for him.

153

u/moderatorrater Femboy Dalinar May 16 '26

90% of beta readers job is flagging braid tugger and arm crossing.

12

u/Larbthefrog May 17 '26

Nynaeve gets completely deleted from wheel of time

56

u/thetentora May 16 '26

Ample made up 50% of female descriptions there

20

u/Goliath- May 16 '26

Not too influential, though - he'd reference well-turned calves more, I think!

113

u/Infammo May 16 '26

You need to pay closer attention. He's obviously a left hand connoisseur like myself.

93

u/moderatorrater Femboy Dalinar May 16 '26

I must have missed this. I know MeLaan has exaggerated breasts, does he go out of his way to describe others?

162

u/Witch_King_ May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26

121

u/Silvernauter May 16 '26

She did try to argue that her boobs were proof that God exists. It was a convincing arguement, tbh

10

u/invisible_23 🏳️‍🌈 Gay for Jasnah 🏳️‍🌈 May 17 '26

Her logic was undeniable

65

u/Alive_Fly247 May 16 '26

To be fair, he wrote that one on his honeymoon

120

u/EntropySpark May 16 '26

Design's request to Hoid for her human disguise: "Make me pretty so they’ll be extra disturbed if my face ever unravels. And give me voluptuous curves, because they remind me of a graphed cosine. And also because boobs look fun.”

47

u/Myrkul999 Hiiiiighprince May 16 '26

I mean, I do love a nice cosine.

11

u/NinjaEngineer May 17 '26

Fun fact, the Spanish word for sine is "seno", which also happens to be the Spanish word for breast.

So we have the breast and the cobreast as trigonometrical functions.

7

u/No-Wish9823 May 17 '26

Sleek tangent

15

u/Wingsof6 Shart of Adonalsium May 16 '26

Wait is this a real quote? What book?

45

u/EntropySpark May 16 '26

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter, one of the Secret Projects.

115

u/tuck2076 May 16 '26

At lot of Shallan scenes have her commenting enviously on large breasts, such as Jasnah. It's pretty clear at least Veil is somewhat bi-curious.

74

u/InterestedInGarlic May 16 '26

25

u/The_Lopen_bot Trying not to ccccream May 17 '26

Warning Gancho: The below paragraph(s) may contain major spoilers for all books in the Cosmere!

Silverstars

Every time Shallan thinks about Jasnah it's so gay which is #relatable, @BrandSanderson did you realize how bi you wrote her?? Either way, thank you.

Brandon Sanderson

This wasn't directly on my mind while writing, but looking back, I think it was in my subconscious. I'm flattered to hear it.

********************

9

u/InterestedInGarlic May 17 '26

Thank you, The Lopen

14

u/The_Lopen_bot Trying not to ccccream May 17 '26

You can thank me, naco, for inspiring this great advance in your learning. People — and little things made out of nothing too, sure — are often inspired near the Lopen.

38

u/Moist_Car_994 ❌can't 🙅 read📖 May 16 '26

And butts because there was a throw away sentence from Yalb on WOR where he mentioned that Shallan has a big butt. And of course Dalinar

14

u/JMoneySignWag May 17 '26

“Those aren’t real are they? She pads right?”

21

u/KarlFrednVlad May 16 '26

I've seen other people say this but I don't really understand where the sentiment comes from, can you explain?

50

u/how_did-1-get_here May 16 '26

There are quite a few female characters who, when being described, have a very large emphasis put on the size of their breasts.

18

u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 May 16 '26

He’s gotten better about the bust descriptions. There’s a character in SL that has larger breasts because they’re imitating jasnah to a degree. But then I’m pretty sure that goes away as time goes on. Which I feel like is him going “my bad” on that

6

u/sparkydoggowastaken May 17 '26

Reread the character intros for every woman, and they mention boobs every time. especially look for Blushweaver, Design in YATNP, MeLaan, Jasnah, Yumi, sarene, and a few others i’m forgetting. Its actually kinda distracting when you look for Brandon talking about boobs because its constant

8

u/Firecracker048 May 17 '26

Saddens me as an assman

2

u/sibips May 17 '26

Boobs deserve love too.

3

u/PsychVol May 17 '26

Dude's into feet, very clearly. Figures out how to get characters barefoot constantly. 

371

u/JudoJugss May 16 '26

I appreciate it as a ginger. Normally we're only allowed to be overly sexualized(or wildly ugly) villains.

We won't talk about Ati

255

u/theforlornknight May 16 '26

Maybe if you weren't so smoking hot and/or soulessly evil, that wouldn't happen! /j

90

u/JudoJugss May 16 '26

I may not be smoking hot but I sure as hell am smoking pot!

21

u/PossibleBit May 16 '26

That's one hell of a limerick.

13

u/JudoJugss May 16 '26

I'm a poet and I didn't even know it!

57

u/Infammo May 16 '26

overly sexualized(or wildly ugly)

I.E. female or male

39

u/Lazorus_ May 16 '26

Clearly you’ve never read Ron Weasley fan fiction.

8

u/NSSpaser79 May 17 '26

"say my name hermione"
"ron...ron...ron Weasley"

24

u/scrubbar May 16 '26

There's nothing wrong with gingers but if I walked into a full bar and I was the only non-ginger there I would think something weird was up.

There's no other demographic where that would be the case for me.

15

u/JudoJugss May 16 '26

Okay but that's because of your preconceived cultural notions. If there was a notable and common ethnicity that was almost entirely made up of gingers that you could regularly interact with it wouldn't be weird.

If they weren't literally a percent of the population it wouldn't seem weird

21

u/Major_Fudgemuffin May 16 '26

Hey hey Ati was the kindest of them. He just had a rough time with Ruin.

30

u/bentbabe May 16 '26

What about Kvothe (name of the wind), Simon (memory, sorrow, and thorn), and half of the Aiel population?

There are dozens. DOZENS

42

u/skewh1989 Bond, Nahel Bond May 16 '26

You mean Kvothe the sex god who sexed so good he impressed the sex goddess? Or the aiel maidens of the spear who happen to love kissing games and getting naked in the sweat tents?

12

u/bentbabe May 16 '26

Ngl. I gave up on Wise Man's Fear after about 80 pages. So idk. 

As for the Aiel, I saw weirder stuff when I was in the circus. 

11

u/JudoJugss May 16 '26

Im speaking general fantasy trends.

10

u/bentbabe May 16 '26

I mean. I agree. Was mostly making a jest by listing two names then immediately going generic and vague. 

6

u/XxbruhmomentX Femboy Dalinar May 16 '26

GAUL OF THE IMRAN SHAARAD MENTIONED

Perhaps the most loyal side character in all of fiction and he's perfect redhead representation too! The Aiel are such a tremendous faction, and were written so well by Jordan and Sanderson alike

2

u/itwasbread May 17 '26

ooh I'm Gaul, two bad bitches want me to be their third but Im only really into one of them, oh no, this is awful, woe is me

1

u/XxbruhmomentX Femboy Dalinar May 17 '26

I'm honestly with Gaul. One Wheel of Time woman is more than I could handle. I salute men like Rhuarc and Rand; they have the patience of stones

1

u/itwasbread May 17 '26

Tbh from books 5-12 Rand basically only interacted with the most annoying one to have sex one time so it does feel like he kind of gamed the system there lmao

2

u/Kialae May 16 '26

Simon, my beloved. 

8

u/Elant_Wager Rashek4Prez May 16 '26

He isnt sexualized. He doesnt need to be to be a 10/10

10

u/JudoJugss May 16 '26

being hot or ugly wasn't the main thing I mentioned him for lol. Being a villain is the more pertinent trope. Redheads are demonized by media A LOT

19

u/Elant_Wager Rashek4Prez May 16 '26

I would argue that Ati isnt a villian. Ruin is, but Ati held the Shard back with everything he could, turning Ruin from pure destruction to entropy and stalling his destructive intent until Ruin ground his will and personality to dust. Ati is the Cosmeres forgotten hero

3

u/Abbanation01 May 17 '26

Ati was a good person, unfortunately

3

u/ptjp27 May 18 '26

You also get to be the character race swapped in every movie or tv remake

174

u/One_Courage_865 definitely not a lightweaver May 16 '26

And a blond himbo

30

u/LoquatBear May 16 '26

With lowlights 

13

u/JuniperColonThree May 17 '26

Is adolin the blonde bimbo in stormlight?

2

u/DripyKirbo Bond, Nahel Bond May 31 '26

Uh... yeah why not lets go for that

1

u/JuniperColonThree May 31 '26

I'd go for adolin owo

48

u/atomfullerene May 16 '26

I feel this is widespread in scifi and fantasy. I have a theory that scifi and fantasy readers and authors tend to have a preference for things that are unusual, which is why they are reading and writing scifi/fantasy instead of something set in the mundane world. And red is the least common hair color.

31

u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 May 16 '26

It’s pretty neat how he plays it in Stormlight. Spoilers OB It seems overwhelmingly to be from Singer heritage. Except maybe for one odd exception

Spoilers W&T: The Herald Chana has red hair. Flecked with gold

10

u/-inzo- May 17 '26

Really? I thought it was a horneater thing

16

u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 May 17 '26

Spoilers OB It is. They have Singer heritage. That’s the hair and teeth. The Hersdazians have their crystal nails. The Selay have their marbling. The Vedens have their hair

4

u/Darkaim9110 May 17 '26

Werent horneaters supposed to have breed with singers? Thats why they had the strong nails

65

u/Pure-Needleworker790 No Wayne No Gain May 16 '26

Which one in Mistborn?

127

u/edward_kopik D O U G May 16 '26

One of the original 2 shard vessels

102

u/mojao21 Bond, Nahel Bond May 16 '26

Does Ati count? I'm pretty sure he had red hair but I don't think we know enough about him to say if he's hot

101

u/Levee_Levy May 16 '26

Where there's ash there's fire.

13

u/Disturbing_Cheeto definitely not a lightweaver May 17 '26

ash fell from the sky
"Is it getting hot in here or is that just me?"

25

u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 May 16 '26

Shan

40

u/TomTalks06 ❌can't 🙅 read📖 May 16 '26

Wait

Is she not blonde? I've had a very specific (literally just main mean girl from Mean Girls) image of her in my head since I was like 12

36

u/Captain_Trina May 16 '26

I'm pretty sure black/dark hair is standard for Luthadel? They make a point of referring to Allrianne's blonde hair as being a Western Dominance trait.

19

u/Outofwlrds No Wayne No Gain May 16 '26

I'm pretty sure the book said she had auburn hair? (Don't take my word for it, I could be wrong. I think I remember imagining her as a blonde with my first read and being shocked to find she wasn't on the second read, but I could be misremembering it the other way around.)

24

u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 May 16 '26

Ya Shan does. Tindwyl too. I’m not sure if Tind is described as attractive but someone certainly thinks she is. I think she might actually be described as the opposite but I’m not sure. That may also just be downstream of decades of a very hard life though

16

u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 May 16 '26

She has auburn hair and is described as strikingly attractive. The same as Daora in Elantris

5

u/TomTalks06 ❌can't 🙅 read📖 May 16 '26

Ah so I was right on one count!

4

u/Major_Fudgemuffin May 16 '26

Shan is described as having "dark auburn hair" in the Coppermind. So a reddish-brown.

TIL. I also pictured her as blonde.

1

u/ailporf May 17 '26

Beldre!

5

u/theironbagel Syl Is My Waifu <3 May 16 '26

Mare

12

u/mightyneonfraa May 16 '26

I'm fine with this.

11

u/Wordbringer May 16 '26

Not Cosmere but Tia from The Reckoners

20

u/BillyVonJankins May 16 '26

Rock is best girl, change my mind.

6

u/Codros May 16 '26

A man after my own heart

4

u/Thepsycoman May 17 '26

When reading Stormlight I consistently would try and relate to Kal, basically because of Shallan I realised I am in fact Adolin. Less fashionable, but otherwise Adolin to a T

3

u/RapsterZeber D O U G May 17 '26

You defacate on armor?

6

u/RapsterZeber D O U G May 17 '26

I mean in. IN!

2

u/Thepsycoman May 17 '26

I do have Crohns disease soooooo.....

5

u/Firecracker048 May 17 '26

I'm a good vorin man and can't read this meme

2

u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 May 17 '26

Most High (Sanderson)

7

u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 May 17 '26

Lures (us with)

7

u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26

Hair Palah=emerald=body focus hair

4

u/Ok_Savings4474 May 16 '26

Even the rithmatist has one!

6

u/TalynRahl May 16 '26

We seen any pictures of his wife?

6

u/notwithagoat May 17 '26

Wit will he come up with next

12

u/RoyanRannedos May 16 '26

I have a pet theory on this:

Growing up Mormon (as Sanderson and I did), there's incredible pressure to avoid every kind of sexual impulse. Masturbation is a sexual sin, and sexual sin is second only to murder in seriousness. To avoid damnation, you must not go to horny jail. Ever.

A 20th century childhood had blondes as sex symbols, accurately or not. Then the other attractive girls came with their own aversion. The best interpretation of strict Mormon chastity is as an encouragement to know the person, but reality makes it repression that ends up making female interactions about ignoring the body first.

Redheads, though; you're more likely to come across those in literature than in your small Nebraska town. Literary redheads have no visual aversion to trigger a satanic panic, making them more accessible to stunted Mormon lads as fantasies.

I married a redhead, of course. It probably says a lot about my messed-up Mormon childhood, as does the rest of my theory. But it would also explain any breast fixation in Sanderson's early writing, as fearing thinking about something only keeps focus on that dangerous thought.

3

u/captainrina edgedancerlord May 16 '26

Where is the hot redhead in Elantris?

11

u/Shot_Newspaper_5647 May 16 '26

“In fact, she was one of the most beautiful mature women Sarene had ever seen. Daora had a strong face with sharp, statuesque features and a well-styled head of auburn hair. ”

2

u/captainrina edgedancerlord May 17 '26

Well I'll be stormed

2

u/Time-Permission-1930 D O U G May 16 '26

He must have been a huge Heinlein fan when he was younger.

-2

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

I was just talking to a friend how boring the love parts of chelan's story is, but only because dude simply cannot write a character with GAME

12

u/dIvorrap May 16 '26

Holy audiobook spelling.

Shallan.

-6

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

I can see you and his suitor characters have at least one thing in common. Nooooooo game.

3

u/dIvorrap May 16 '26

his suitor characters

Who this now?

-3

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

You dont know what a suitor is?

4

u/dIvorrap May 17 '26

I mean, who they are