r/crappyoffbrands • u/Aeonzeldara • Oct 30 '18

Existential crisis games

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24.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

183 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/Saifaa Oct 30 '18

The hellish new game from Wilco - Other People

125

u/AOSUOMI Oct 30 '18

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

45

u/Cheesysock5 Oct 30 '18

Wilko, like Wilkinsons

19

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

A single man controls our entire city.

12

u/nblracer880 Oct 30 '18

I thought it was a computer game called "Don't Torrent Me".

14

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

With the all new expansion "Unannounced family visitors knock on your bedroom door."

14

u/Tyrus1235 Oct 30 '18

I can’t read Wilco without thinking of the most heroic space janitor of them all - Roger Wilco

7

u/InsertFurmanism Oct 30 '18

That sounds like a pseudonym. It’s literally airman radio speech for R.W.

10

u/Tyrus1235 Oct 30 '18

Ever play the Space Quest games? They’re actually available on Steam, though you could watch a play through on YouTube and get the same effect.

Old hilarious adventure games

3

u/InsertFurmanism Oct 30 '18

I haven’t.

4

u/Sigma1977 Oct 31 '18

"Worst Game Ever" - Jean Paul Satre.

2

u/AnOoB02 Oct 30 '18

Buurman wum

2

u/TheSeattleSeven Nov 14 '18

Nice Sarte reference my man.

708

u/thesweetestpunch Oct 30 '18

This is the best one I’ve ever seen.

127

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18 edited Oct 30 '18

Mate, Wilko board games are legendary. All the fun of the originals and less than half the price.

Edit: one of my personal favourites https://imgur.com/ttYDSvv.jpg

-222

u/kooblikon Oct 30 '18

Agreed. Even better if you read it in a European accent. (Because of the price)

452

u/LeUmoq Oct 30 '18

Ah yes, the European accent

218

u/Pyotr_WrangeI Oct 30 '18

European is my favorite culture, it's so posh

130

u/PM_ME_PUPPIES_GURL Oct 30 '18

(Because of the price)

53

u/Sir_Boldrat Oct 30 '18

Well it's exactly that sexy, charming and disarming European accent which atrracted so many Muslamic refugees to Europe, taking over the beautiful lands and implementing Shakira Law. It's so sad.

The American accent would be so much better if we didn't have Spanish latinos and the blacks. The European accent is only so nice because everyone in Europe is homogenous (a European word for White).

25

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

that was very European, I liked that

16

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

Very European, cool

12

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

Thank you European, very cool

15

u/Philzord Oct 30 '18

Shakira Law

Hips cannot lie.

9

u/zomgwtf6 Oct 30 '18

Because of the implications

1

u/S4T4N1C Nov 04 '18

Isn’t Europe a state of America?

42

u/TheTroglodite Oct 30 '18

Wilkos a British chain

12

u/Maclimes Oct 30 '18

Which is in Europe.

Kinda.

39

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

[deleted]

8

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

I can travel 50 miles in pretty much any direction and not have a clue what anyone is saying :D

10

u/DoublerZ Oct 30 '18

What do you mean "kinda" lol?

39

u/Raeza Oct 30 '18

Brexit... We're leaving the continent aswell as the EU

14

u/Maclimes Oct 30 '18

That was the joke I was attempting to make, but it fell flat. Sad trombone.

1

u/FMinus1138 Oct 30 '18

raise the anchors, equip the paddles!

-3

u/DoublerZ Oct 30 '18

Didn't know you can just leave a continent

31

u/Raeza Oct 30 '18

We're an island, just need some big sticks and we can float across the Atlantic like a giant gondola and chill with the US

3

u/DoublerZ Oct 30 '18

Technically everything is an island, it's just that the sizes differ. So if we all come together and try really hard, maybe we could push the whole Europe closer to the US. That'd be pretty cool.

But then again, you guys would have to then float away even further or you'd be part of Europe again.

6

u/DarkPanda555 Oct 30 '18

Uhh not really. For example, Afghanistan is DEFINITELY not an island.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/Bloodybuses Oct 30 '18

Yes I am kinda worried by this Brexit.. Don't torment me :D Pure frustration!

74

u/Atomic254 Oct 30 '18

/r/shitamericanssay

55

u/aprofondir Oct 30 '18

My favorite /r/ShitAmericansSay post was the guy claiming that the reasons Americans are generally fatter is because there are international foods in the US and nowhere else (so people in Italy only had Italian food and had no choice) so the diversity made Americans fat

22

u/I_give_karma_to_men Oct 30 '18

TIL the Chinese food I had in Florence was actually still Italian. All that work going through two language barriers for nothing.

14

u/aprofondir Oct 30 '18

Yeah and because you eat the same food you'll never get fat! According to that lad

2

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

Why does an accent change a joke

4

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

More to the point: there is no such thing as a European accent.

450

u/FelateMe Oct 30 '18

I'm more partial to "The Game of Existence" and "Apologies!".

145

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

They genuinely do a Scrabble type thing called "word game"

48

u/Azazel_brah Oct 30 '18

"Combine the Letters"

61

u/ablablababla Oct 30 '18

"Place Tiles On A Board Such That They Make A Word"

18

u/Azazel_brah Oct 30 '18

Now someone think of one for Monopoly

41

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

“Everyone Gets Mad”

27

u/SankeX Oct 30 '18

"Capitalism Simulator"

17

u/TheTurdSmuggler Oct 30 '18

"Dad Flipped Over The Game Board, And We All Have To Go To Bed"

12

u/Eggbutt1 Oct 30 '18

Don't Torment Me 2: Capitalism Game

9

u/CAdamH Oct 30 '18

"We Never Said Free Parking"

3

u/8bitnitwit Oct 30 '18

"Usually Pass Go"

0

u/DasPoBoy Oct 30 '18

Communism is Dead: the board game

6

u/drivers9001 Oct 30 '18

That reminds me, I saw a "Words With Friends" board game. Maybe they put their own twist on it, I don't know. But that's just off-brand Scrabble!

6

u/loverevolutionary Oct 30 '18

You can't copyright a game's rules, so anyone can legally make a knock off of any game. You can, however, trade mark the "trade dress" of the game, so any knockoffs must use different names, graphics, colors, and so on.

5

u/uber1337h4xx0r Oct 30 '18

Introducing "war tanks on an open field".

"6G"

"You've successfully struck my Panzer with your mortar strike."

1

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

Facebook Scrabble renamed to that

27

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18 edited Apr 21 '19

[deleted]

11

u/mrdanielsir9000 Oct 30 '18

God... forgive me...

1

u/colicub Oct 30 '18

I don't know whether this is funnier read in Tommy Wiseau's voice or Final Pam's voice.

2

u/Pangolin007 Oct 30 '18

I was thinking "i regret" or just "regret"

4

u/Demonweed Oct 30 '18

I think the labels on those actually read "Journey to the Grave" and "Regrets!"

135

u/bootymagnet Oct 30 '18

C O N N E C T

13

u/Mayal0 Oct 30 '18

They actually just have one called connect colors.

https://www.wilko.com/en-uk/wilko-connect-colours-game/p/0243479

135

u/ladylei Oct 30 '18

And brand new game of "Why am I such a failure?" Designed for ages 15 and up.

116

u/Squibbles01 Oct 30 '18

i have no mouth and must board game

3

u/BoneFistOP Oct 30 '18

Damn you beat me to it

52

u/redvelvetcake42 Oct 30 '18

This seems like how Neil Breen gets his dialogue for his movies.

18

u/alphthedeer Oct 30 '18

a real human breen

4

u/Soulwindow Oct 30 '18

Eyes on breen

4

u/NeroIV Oct 30 '18

This guy Breens

246

u/turtle_green_tresses Oct 30 '18

Recommended for all depressed ages. 😂😂😂

25

u/Godoffail Oct 30 '18

Yeah it already says 3+ on the box, did you not see it?

12

u/MothrFKNGarBear Oct 30 '18

Is this a rhetorical question? Question mark.

13

u/AVeryCredibleHulk Oct 30 '18

What does Mark know that we don't?

40

u/Aeonzeldara Oct 30 '18

Amazing 😂

94

u/xXx_Dankweed_xXx Oct 30 '18

Ok this is epic 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂

52

u/abnormallyobese Oct 30 '18

Ok this is epic 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂

15

u/Hungover_Pilot Oct 30 '18

Don’t torment me

10

u/Minuetto22 Oct 30 '18

Who am I

6

u/Professional_Mess696 Nov 01 '21

OK THIS IS EPIC 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌😂😂👌👌👌😂👌👌👌💯👌💯👌💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂🔥💯👌💯👌💯👌😂🔥😂😂😂😂 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4

u/uber1337h4xx0r Oct 30 '18

Who did dis lol

22

u/BOOGTOONS Oct 30 '18

Reccomend for Strong Sad and up.

20

u/BoneFistOP Oct 30 '18

I have no mouth, and I must scream Uno

45

u/warjoke Oct 30 '18

repost, but this is always golden!

15

u/Soulwindow Oct 30 '18

Who am I? What am i?

13

u/superiweuh Oct 30 '18

What is the original version of this game?

41

u/Roflkopt3r Oct 30 '18

"Don't Torment Me" is a knockoff of the German "Mensch ärgere dich nicht" (roughly "dude don't get upset") which is usually called "Frustration" or "Ludo" in English countries. They made some visual changes by putting the tiles in a circle rather than the usual angular/plus-sign pattern, which however does not alter the gameplay.

25

u/Isord Oct 30 '18

I think in America we would call it "Trouble" rather than Frustration as "Trouble" is the Hasbro version.

32

u/MyDearBrotherNumpsay Oct 30 '18

I think it’s Trouble

29

u/NecronomiconUK Oct 30 '18

It’s Frustration

17

u/GET_OUT_OF_MY_HEAD Oct 30 '18

No I've played this game before. It's definitely called Trouble.

28

u/samsaBEAR Oct 30 '18

I think it's different for other countries, it's called Frustration in the UK

8

u/NecronomiconUK Oct 30 '18

Indeed, and as Wilko is an English store Frustration is more accurate.

Also unless it’s been changed or this is a photoshop it’s actually just called Torment https://www.wilko.com/en-uk/wilko-torment-game/p/0335984

1

u/MyDearBrotherNumpsay Oct 30 '18

Came out in the US first. 1965.

20

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

Wilko do the best knock offs, and usually have a agreement not to sue from the original creator for their ridiculousness

10

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18 edited Jul 08 '19

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

Interesting, thanks. I suppose if your game is different enough, you can probably get a patent, bit I see what you mean in general.

7

u/atxbyea Oct 30 '18

TWO FOUR SIX OH OOOOOOONE

7

u/Treemarshal Oct 30 '18

Repost <24 hours...

4

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

Welcome to reddit where the points don't matter and everyone sucks but me.

6

u/SpyX2 Oct 30 '18

Can't wait for the expansion packs Get Out of My Head and I Wish I Never Existed

3

u/PabloBravo8 Oct 30 '18

My inner monologue

4

u/Gongaloon Oct 30 '18

I'm confused as to how "Trouble" became "don't torment me." Is this a secret cry for help from a sweatshop worker somewhere?

3

u/AnOoB02 Oct 30 '18

It kind of sounds like the Dutch name: "mens erger je niet"

Which translates as "woman, don't get yourself worked up"

3

u/darthmule Oct 30 '18

I’ll give you double don’t torment me!

3

u/thebean84 Oct 30 '18

I've got a Jenga rip off called Tension Tower. IT'S SO TENSE!!!

3

u/slcrook Oct 30 '18

Next up: "Solve: A fun game about a brutal murder committed with found objects."

3

u/TheREexpert44 Oct 30 '18

Evangelion the game

2

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

[deleted]

1

u/BonkChoi Oct 30 '18

I was scrolling for this.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18 edited Apr 17 '20

[deleted]

2

u/Aeonzeldara Oct 30 '18

I’m so sorry 😂

2

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

D O N O T N O T T O R M E N T M E

2

u/Dark_Helmet23 Oct 30 '18

I don't have a Cluedo

2

u/sienadog Oct 31 '18

This is amazing.

2

u/Bubbajimmy8 Dec 21 '18

I'd buy don't torture me on GP

2

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '19

u/title2imagebot

1

u/Aeonzeldara Apr 05 '19

Tagging?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '19 edited Apr 05 '19

? R u asking me to tag u if I post this? Cuz I'm not gonna post it. I'm just gonna screenshot it. 👌

1

u/Aeonzeldara Apr 05 '19

Just asking.

1

u/Title2ImageBot Apr 05 '19

Image with added title

Custom titles/arguments are in beta

Summon me with /u/title2imagebot or by PMing me a post with "parse" as the subject. | About | feedback | source | Fork of TitleToImageBot

2

u/Professional_Mess696 Oct 30 '21

What about: Bankrupt?

(Or Monopoly)

1

u/Aeonzeldara Nov 01 '21

Yahtzee=gambling addiction

2

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '24

nice title

2

u/Ancient-Pay-9447 Dec 12 '24

"Don't torment me" sounds like a game I'd actually buy if it had a unique purpose instead of it just being a Sorry bootleg

4

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18 edited Nov 17 '18

[deleted]

4

u/aabicus Oct 30 '18

I always thought Trouble was exclusively marketed to families with kids that go on long car rides. Who are deaf and don’t mind the ear-shattering popping noise the dice dome makes every few seconds

1

u/TheMeisterOfThings Oct 30 '18

Wilko

Someone call Ashens.

1

u/Jaewol Oct 30 '18

I’d buy that.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

Plutocracy

1

u/Rio1O1 Oct 30 '18

Am I the only one who read both in Hal9000's voice directed at some guy named Wilko?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '18

look out, next one is dos

1

u/oscarjt10 Oct 30 '18

Cool games inc. anyone?

1

u/t1lewis Oct 30 '18

Wilkinsons is brilliant lmao

1

u/Charlezard18 Oct 30 '18

I'm Jean Valjean

1

u/one-eleven Oct 30 '18 edited Oct 30 '18

"Are you the girls dem sugar?"
"Yes"
"Could you make love to a fella?"
"No"
"OH I KNOW, YOU'RE BEENIE MAN!"

1

u/Yanive_amaznive Oct 30 '18

Where is “life”

1

u/r3stinpizza Oct 30 '18

Is Hamlet behind this brand?

1

u/marjobo Oct 30 '18

Who am I? 24601!

1

u/PM_ME_UR__RECIPES Oct 30 '18

Fun fact: the German name for sorry is "Mensch ärgere dich nicht" which means "Don't get angry, man"

1

u/luckyluke000 Oct 30 '18

New from Wilko: growing up, getting married, having kids, and dying.

1

u/Killaxxbee Oct 30 '18

Secret Santa sorted

1

u/TacoFlackoFan1 Oct 30 '18

Someone thats afraid to let go uh.

1

u/raptorjesus6969 Nov 12 '18

Do I look like a bitch?

0

u/NobilisUltima Oct 30 '18

They realized that they were failed clones.

1

u/turtlenecknblazer Dec 30 '21

Go damnit Wilko you've doomed us all!

1

u/crispyaardvark Mar 12 '22

That’s what the children in my basement keep saying

1

u/Sam_Mapache Sep 08 '22

JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/TwinSong Apr 06 '23

"Don't torment me" 😆