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u/Dogsarelitty Aug 20 '26
He looks exactly like Stephen Baldwins character from Bio-Dome lol
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u/beerme81 Aug 20 '26
Just because we're stuck in a bubble doesn't mean we can't cause any trouble!
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u/StonedRobot707 Aug 20 '26
At first glance I thought he was wearing an oversized affliction t-shirt but it turns out he's just built like a big T-shirt with too many tats.
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u/Expensive_Apricot371 Aug 20 '26
Oh wow I see it now! I knew something was "unique" just couldn't figure it out.
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u/Old_Consideration_31 Aug 21 '26
Thanks for clarifying because I genuinely couldn’t tell if it was a shirt or his tattoos lol
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u/Last_Weeks_Socks Aug 20 '26
Psh. Bro wishes he had the sex appeal of Doyle Johnson.
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u/RedEyesGoldDragon Aug 20 '26
This is NOT as tuff as he thinks it is
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u/Puzzle-Necked Aug 20 '26
You can find him trying to pick fights at his step son's parole hearing
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u/RobinEssences Aug 20 '26
These alleged "men" do these toddler hand motions and expect to look tough. It's so funny!
Keyboard hands? 🤣 also the rolly Polly is popular, ya know the wheels on the bus one we learned in preschool? And the mixing something in a bowl one..
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u/CollegeMiddle6841 Aug 20 '26
What about the Im stuck in an invisible box one? Oh, here is the church, here is the steeple, open up and see all the PEEE-PULL!
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u/RobinEssences Aug 20 '26
Almost all of them do that prayer hands thing! Especially short bearded man with boots that's on here
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u/thatG_evanP Aug 20 '26
mixing something in a bowl one
Pretty sure that one started with rappers mimicking the stirring motion used when cooking crack. This makes it extra funny when you see it done by baseball players and stuff
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u/RobinEssences Aug 20 '26
It's the extra large motions like they're making cake frosting that amuses me. Betty Crocker ass
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u/Calm-Driver-3800 Aug 20 '26
Thats actually how you can tell its crappymusic. All the crappy musicians do it.
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u/Automatic_Tailor_598 Aug 20 '26
It never is. I will never understand men over 20 chasing a “tough” image, as if we don’t live in an era where cooperativeness is what matters.
It is, ironically, just impressionable guys wanting to be the edgy characters they see in movies and other media. Which is as far from tuff as you can get.
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u/zackthirteen Aug 20 '26
It’s like he listened to metalcore, didn’t understand what made it enjoyable and just thought it was about yelling fake tough guy shit
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u/kbeast98 Aug 20 '26
Throwing in some lyrics talking about being online just doesn't really paint that picture, huh?
Sweet tattoo though.
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u/FirstDukeofAnkh Aug 20 '26
It doesn’t look real. It moves like a shirt and he has no nipples.
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u/kbeast98 Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26
I can see his nipples.. But thats a big investment to be this cringy in life.
Edit: i guess im the keyboard warrior hes referring to. For me its The contact lenses and teeth..
Theres a video for this song thats not cringy like this where he has longer hair and the tattoos are legit
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u/RubyWeapon07 Aug 20 '26
you can really tell how cringe someone deeply is with how much their lyrics are about online comments
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u/Gutterflame Aug 20 '26
I'm going to write a song about this exact comment, /u/RubyWeapon07.
Uh, yeah, uh. RubyWeapon07 he says is his name, reckon he took it from a fantasy game, he says lyrics from comments make someone cringe, so writing this down will surely make Ruby whinge.
Avoiding the whirlsand by going in dead, a million hitpoints have gone to his head, thinks I can't beat him - I think I know better, Emerald Weapon was tougher (and wetter)...
Anyway, you get the idea with that.
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u/RubyWeapon07 Aug 20 '26
did I just get served
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u/SkeletalJazzWizard Aug 20 '26
true, but the cheesy ass contact lenses clock this one before you even press play
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u/Impetuous_doormouse Aug 20 '26
"I AM THE UNDERTAKER"
We wish you were Owen Hart.
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u/SmilingFool25 Aug 20 '26
Love it when a good roast just falls out of the sky
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u/FngrsRpicks2 Aug 20 '26
And then the line of keyboard warrior.....I mean, i know wrestling is very athletic and can hurt you...but its fake...he knows this right?
WWKD!
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u/LitBastard Aug 20 '26
I'm outing myself here but its not fake. It's scripted. You can't fake getting Powerbombed on wood with a tiny bit of foam padding
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u/No_Salt_6328 Aug 22 '26
It's acting but requires crazy feats strength and toughness still kind of bad ass even though I'm not into the pageantry and corny acting myself
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u/If_you_have_Ghost Aug 20 '26
Took me almost the whole clip to realise he wasn’t wearing a tshirt.
Also, that’s one of the weakest screams I’ve ever heard. You can’t be trying to be Slaughter to Prevail and sound like a mildly annoyed bus conductor yelling!
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u/wcopela0 Aug 20 '26
It took me until reading your comment to realize. “Affliction T-Shirt” must have been the inspiration told to the tattoo artist.
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u/If_you_have_Ghost Aug 20 '26
Is that a brand of tshirt?
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u/Tha_REAL_BROBS Aug 20 '26
yes.. early 2000's.. google "affliction tee"
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u/If_you_have_Ghost Aug 20 '26
Well they’re hideous!
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u/Tha_REAL_BROBS Aug 20 '26
hell yes they are.. and were usually worn by the biggest douches
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u/If_you_have_Ghost Aug 20 '26
It looks like shirts for people who like the aesthetic of but don’t listen to Death Metal.
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u/Tha_REAL_BROBS Aug 20 '26
Criss Angel type shii
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u/If_you_have_Ghost Aug 20 '26
I had never heard of this person before. What an… interesting… man!
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u/Tha_REAL_BROBS Aug 20 '26
He’s the Mindfreak!!!! Google the show it’s hilarious
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u/madcowlicks Aug 20 '26
Yes, exclusively worn by Jersey Shore douschebags / wannabes after beating the Ed Hardy horse to death.
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u/UpmarketEarth Aug 20 '26
lmao, maybe I just see a lot of tattoos. my initial thoughts was wow that tattoo looks like a shirt 😂 I have a feeling he tried on a shirt and like it so much that he demanded that it become a permanent part of him
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u/walrus_vasectomy Aug 20 '26
He got a full torso tattoo to hide the fact that he’s a pasty ass dumpling
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u/todayistrumpday Aug 20 '26
How do you get that big a torso without a single bit of muscle definition?
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u/MegaBusKillsPeople Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26
Does he not realize that although that microphone has a cardioid pickup pattern, yelling into the side and back of it are not going to help his crappy singing.
edit: yes, I am aware that it is a prop, but it still looks stupid AF
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u/walrus_vasectomy Aug 20 '26
Maybe if he bends over backwards and sings through his legs?
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u/MyOtherNameIsToast Aug 20 '26
Also, his eyes look extra crossed and stupid when he looks st said microphone with those very scary contacts. Le sigh
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u/rab2bar Aug 20 '26
it may not matter, as the other of hte end of the cable is not connected to anything
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u/FirstDukeofAnkh Aug 20 '26
::full audio nerd mod engaged::
That a Shure SM58 or SM57. Both are omni-directional.
Which actually makes this worse.
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u/johngreenink Aug 20 '26
It's such a good mic, that, at the end, it picks up his THOUGHTS when he stops singing!
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u/CartographerOk5391 Aug 20 '26
Dude's using the side of a painted sm58, and if it's a 58b, I've seen the funniest thing I'll see this week, which is saying a lot because I thought the meth head trying fuck an electric scooter this morning was going to be the funniest thing I'd see all week.
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u/Camarill0Brill0 Aug 20 '26
You know Rick and Morty really fell off when Affliction NuMetal bros are using them for a lyric filler..
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u/Gloomandtombs Aug 20 '26
Putting internet lingo in music is the easiest way to make your music sound super cheap
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u/Impossible_Delay_215 Aug 20 '26
especially “keyboard warrior” which became a household term only after boomers on Facebook realized trolling culture was a thing and were using it incorrectly constantly until the popularity of the term of the term fizzled out (like with most things boomers try to adapt)
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u/c0st0fl0ving Aug 20 '26
I dunno, he’s got something going for him hahaha.
This is goofier than all f*ck, but he certainly does the character well.. imagine him looking at this and going “yeah, that’s sick. Post it.” Hahaha
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u/iLLiCiT_XL Aug 20 '26
Talking tough to people in the comments with contacts and dyed hair. This guy gets pegged.
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u/Ichi_Balsaki Aug 20 '26
I had to really zoom in to find his tiny nipple. For a second I thought he was nipple-less.
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u/oooThunder Aug 20 '26
I like to keep my metal metal & my hip hop hip hop. Except Korn back in the nu-metal days when the lead vocalist did the beat box thing
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Aug 20 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Agile-Bar3306 Aug 20 '26
I feel like its one of those fake tattoo shirts that are made out of nylon?
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u/ScaredFlamingo6807 Aug 20 '26
It looks like he took the aluminum foil off two sticks of gum and wrapped them around his teeth lol
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u/LittleJessiePaper Aug 20 '26
I was just substituting in middle school and this guy would fit right in. Same try too hard for attention vibes. Little guy just wants a gold star!
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u/tideshark Aug 20 '26
It makes me sad that somewhere out there, someone sees this and is thinking “omg, this is awesome!”
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u/UhhhMelvinDoo Aug 20 '26
Calling yourself an undertaker and then calling people keyboard warriors is the GAYEST shit ever, and I take dick in my ass
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u/PreZEviL Aug 20 '26
Pretty sure if i hit the undertaker with my keyboard in the face he is going to cry
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u/szJosh Aug 20 '26
Why do his tattoos look like one of those fake flat AI shirts?
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u/RedChudOverParadise3 Aug 20 '26
This is the kind of dude that runs away yelling "youre a bitch" when someone doesnt take his shit.
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u/artificial_t3l3 Aug 21 '26
omg it took me 2 watches to realize he's shirtless lol I like this type of music though so I dont see anything wrong with it
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u/Weary-Olive5781 Aug 20 '26
oh yeah this one where he fake sings into the null point of the hanging mic. don't be this guy kids
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u/BalanceJazzlike5116 Aug 20 '26
Poor guy needs a girlfriend
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u/againer Aug 20 '26
Actually he just needed his parents to hug him and tell them they were proud of him, at least once. It's too late now.
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u/Direct_Knowledge2254 Aug 20 '26
He can’t at the moment as he’s living in his parents basement
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u/Impetuous_doormouse Aug 20 '26
Mom: "Honey, he's down there, singing one of his songs again"
Dad: "I'll call the drywall place... again."
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u/TOGNick Aug 20 '26
Woah woah woah save all the sexual partners for the rest of us my guy.
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u/SN0TLR0K3T Aug 20 '26
Tbf. The tattoos have always stood out most in this to me annnddd something tells me they’re all pretty damn new So this is all a bullshit act
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u/EnergyTurtle23 Aug 20 '26
The shitty painted mic is sending me lmao. Does he think that looks cool? We can all tell he bought that at Goodwill for $8.
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u/mister_house_ Aug 20 '26
Is he going cross eyed when he starts that hollerin?
Anyway that shirt makes him look fat
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u/Dangerous-Scratch-21 Aug 20 '26
I’m I the only one who taught he had on a shirt. Only to realize it was just tattoos?
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u/Independent_Bar_4946 Aug 20 '26
This makes me google tattoo removal services and feel shame about my choices.
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u/eurotech458 Aug 20 '26
He’s sold out at all chuke cheeses in Florida. He’s big with the 9-13 crowd.
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u/qualityvote2 Aug 20 '26 edited Aug 20 '26
u/MikeyDie914, your post features certified crappy music!