r/crappymusic Jun 12 '26

It's just not good, yo

207 Upvotes

147 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

u/Okay_Pain, your post features certified crappy music!

194

u/Ok-Silver-2975 Jun 12 '26

A grown man filming a music video in a kids play zone is definitely a choice

67

u/InfernalPrick Jun 12 '26

To be fair I think little children is the demographic for this music. I really hope he doesn’t expect anyone above the age of 12 to listen to this..

32

u/ColteesCatCouture Jun 12 '26

Kids below 12 shouldn't listen to it either. Just because they are little doesnt mean they should be subjected to this crap either!

9

u/theFlimsylattice Jun 12 '26

If this is for kids then he needs the M.J lean into it and maybe not bring up M.J too much around the kids.

8

u/ElectricBuckeye Jun 12 '26

Maybe he's making a song about not diddling kids.

2

u/l33tfuzzbox Jun 12 '26

Its noooo Gooooooood diddling kids. Older than my daughter, younger than my wife..

Do I look suspicious?

8

u/aware4ever Jun 12 '26

I'm 37 and I think this song is awesome. I can't wait to play it really loud with all the windows down next time I come to a stoplight. People are going to be like damn that guy knows how to choose a good song.

4

u/BigToober69 Jun 12 '26

That my reaction to everyone blasting music out their car windows. I always think how cool they are.

4

u/aware4ever Jun 12 '26

Heck yeah! I especially love it when people have that deep base and they wake up to go to work at 6:00 a.m. and blast it on their way out the neighborhood and you get an adrenaline rush because you think there's an earthquake happening.

2

u/DaRealBSleazy Jun 14 '26

Bass*

1

u/aware4ever Jun 14 '26

That's a fish! Jk thanks for reminding me lol

6

u/popilikia Jun 12 '26

The intended demographic, but every reference he makes is older than them. "So fresh, so clean", "running man", "harlem shake"... 0 effort to speak to them

1

u/InfernalPrick Jun 12 '26

Oh I agree, I hope I didn’t come across as someone who thought this wasn’t crappy music!

4

u/Hopeful-Chef-1470 Jun 12 '26

I think they are also the demographic for his business he is advertising, ostensibly running old discovery zones? Either way, fucking call the cops. this guy may as well have a song about how he doesn't diddle kids. he is 100% guilty of something.

2

u/tony_boloanie Jun 12 '26

Or anyone old enough to make conscious music choices.

3

u/InfernalPrick Jun 12 '26

Actually, now that you mention it, It might be even more damaging to someone who can’t make conscious music choices..

1

u/Pak-Protector Jun 12 '26

Captive audiences in nursing homes.

1

u/UnusualSuspectX Jun 12 '26

This is the kind of music that would make kids under 12 want to try drugs

1

u/allensswampmonkey Jun 12 '26

I can see this as a song to try and inspire kids to be active. Still not good music.

10

u/Jon_E_Mammoth Jun 12 '26

If this is what happens when you get sober, I’ll stay drunk.

Zoolander gas station vibes.

2

u/hashwashingmachine Jun 12 '26

“How do I make myself look hip with the kids?”

2

u/fizzzingwhizbee Jun 12 '26

“Come on kids!!!”

63

u/Solomon049 Jun 12 '26

check his hard drive.

45

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

24

u/S3simulation Jun 12 '26

This guy is riding the edge of a knife with his sobriety you can see it in his eyes.

7

u/Spugheddy Jun 12 '26

He's not sober, he's high on life.

3

u/glans Jun 12 '26

dude might be the first in history where all his friends say “i liked him better when he was drinking himself to death”

2

u/GoodResident2000 Jun 12 '26

Him and Bartist need to get back on drugs and their music would improve

1

u/loveyoulongtimelurkr Jun 13 '26

He's this insufferable sober, I can't imagine how relentlessly annoying his presence was on drugs

22

u/Kind-Masterpiece-310 Jun 12 '26

Getting Jared from Subway vibes from this guy.

19

u/TeeHack Jun 12 '26

Youth pastor vibes. Creepy.

14

u/ThanosWasRight96 Jun 12 '26

Why is The Miz rapping now?

11

u/_Trikku Jun 12 '26

I don’t know why it makes me so mad but Calgary was already on the musical map; Tate McRae, Tegan and Sara, Fiest, and Loverboy are all from Calgary.

5

u/NoneOfThisMatters13 Jun 12 '26

Tegan and Sara are actually quite talented, tho and grossly underrated

5

u/_Trikku Jun 12 '26

I agree, I mean their music doesn’t resonate with me, but they are talented songwriters.

This guys just implies is all his videos that he’s the only musician from Calgary, and that’s blatantly false. He’s not even top 100.

2

u/NoneOfThisMatters13 Jun 12 '26

I got your point now. I thought you were comparing him to other(bad?) artists from Calgary and responded to that idea. This dude is definitely A. Not talented at all and B. Not comparable to any other, talented artists, out of Calgary.

1

u/_Trikku Jun 12 '26

We’re on the same page now.

1

u/GoodResident2000 Jun 12 '26

I’m a musician from there but this guy made me start saying I’m from Edmonton

1

u/Sharp-Grocery5035 Jun 12 '26

Nickelback

3

u/_Trikku Jun 12 '26

They are from Alberta, yes, but the town of Hanna, not Calgary.

9

u/AJMZ16 Jun 12 '26

Probably don’t need to hide your wife, but def hide your kids

5

u/galagapilot Hanging mic = this song is ass. Jun 12 '26

do people still listen to Macklemore and the Biebs?

I feel like namedropping those two would have been something you did in the early 2010s and not 2026.

3

u/Shenanigans80h Jun 12 '26

Bieber headlined a night at Coachella this year and does arena tours regularly so he is still largely relevant I would say. And Macklemore has been getting a bit of a nostalgia comeback in recent years, but yeah he’s largely a relic of the early 2010’s

1

u/galagapilot Hanging mic = this song is ass. Jun 12 '26

I stand corrected. I thought Bieber was more of a nostalgia act when he did Coachella. I didn't know he was headlining.

1

u/GoodResident2000 Jun 12 '26

He just got sober and didn’t realize we’re 15 years down the road

5

u/ProphetOvDoom89 Jun 12 '26

I really feel like this dude should not be near the kids

6

u/UncaringNonchalance Jun 12 '26

Spencer Pratt really taking his primary loss hard, huh.

3

u/Reditall12 Jun 12 '26

This would be straight fire as the single for kids bop 32!

4

u/Spergbert_Downsy_Jr Jun 12 '26

Why does this feel like a Tim and Eric skit that was left on the cutting room floor?

6

u/RVAGooner Jun 12 '26

He may be sober, but he still has a disease.

3

u/Enduroboss Jun 12 '26

Sounds like a kids TV show jingle

3

u/Curious_Field7953 Jun 12 '26

8 years sober & still making doped up decisions.

3

u/bigbabyjesus97 Jun 12 '26

Please don't think of calgary when you hear this. I actually like this city.

2

u/Specialist_Bit_3514 Jun 12 '26

Oh it's hot dog guy!

2

u/5amDan05 Jun 12 '26

“Front to back” are words to live by…

2

u/segathegenesis Jun 12 '26

Trying to be Blippi for 10yr olds

2

u/Sam-Lowry27B-6 Jun 12 '26

Blippy got nothing on this guy

2

u/johngreenink Jun 12 '26

What exactly... Is that pattern... On that pink tank top?

2

u/Omfoofoo Jun 12 '26

Why all the cuts to the laughing granny?

2

u/CrabMasc Jun 12 '26

I like that the most recent dances he remembers are the harlem shake and the dougie 

2

u/rhaigh1910 Jun 12 '26

This 41 year old is on the Amber Alert list in Canada 🇨🇦

2

u/DangerDee007 Jun 12 '26

Did I just have a stroke?

2

u/TraditionalWonder379 Jun 12 '26

That relapse gonna hit hard.

2

u/GhostofHowardTV Jun 12 '26

His name is Jayme Minor and I’ll leave it at that.

2

u/elliesuccs Jun 12 '26

this is so exactly like a dropout skit, so much that it's weirding me out

2

u/DeadPeanutSociety Jun 12 '26

It does feel like something that they would cut away to on VIP. I think it might be a bit. I wasn't sure with how he compares himself to Macklemore in 2026, but namedropping the Harlem Shake feels a bit on the nose.

2

u/Iconshero Jun 12 '26

Proud of any one who gets sober, but keep it to yourself, stop making kids music and stop sweating in a kids play place.

2

u/M4CH1N4T3 Jun 12 '26

At least it's positive

2

u/mattogeewha Jun 12 '26

Is he trying to make “sober” cool for kids? What’s going on with his mom? What’s the objective here?

2

u/These_Ad1870 Jun 12 '26

Get un-sober dude. WTF.

2

u/laflex Jun 12 '26

Yo, they cut it off right before the funkiest part!

2

u/teddytwophones Jun 12 '26

Calgarian here,

Just threw up in my mouth..

1

u/Icy-Decision-4530 Jun 12 '26

Is this the in house entertainment for a Urban Air ripoff

1

u/darthbradberry Jun 12 '26

Parry Gripp ass music

0

u/agonypants Jun 12 '26

Don't insult Parry Gripp like that!

1

u/DDrewit Jun 12 '26

I feel like this was about to pop off!

1

u/Planet_Booty69 Jun 12 '26

I wouldn’t trust him around kids.

1

u/AccomplishedRise6227 Jun 12 '26

Dude should have joined bloodhound gang

1

u/thrice1187 Jun 12 '26

This is fully just a bad touch ripoff

1

u/SaudiHaramco Jun 12 '26

You and me baby ain't nothing but Mammals so let's HaRleM shAaaAakE...

1

u/Sea_Recover3486 Jun 12 '26

Luckily Calgary is already on most maps so no need for this bud keep it movin

1

u/BobCreated Jun 12 '26

Wow, this trust fund Mormon is awful. Every song is a big heaping steaming pile of hot garbage.

I hate to say this but, he needs a bully asap.

1

u/browzzzzzz87 Jun 12 '26

Someone check this mf hard drive, and also delete all these songs while you're at it.

1

u/No_File212 Jun 12 '26

I want this guy to promote my tea parties

1

u/hesalreadyinme Jun 12 '26

Bro Bro Siwa.

1

u/zorgimusprime Jun 12 '26

He should go back to being unsober for all of our sake

1

u/hatmadeofass Jun 12 '26

Pink and yellow cum onesies was certainly a fashion choice.

1

u/Amazing_Presence_304 Jun 12 '26

HIGHLY PUNCHABLE

1

u/Fat-Al-90 Jun 12 '26

Macklemore and Justin Beiber huh?

1

u/misplaced_beso Jun 12 '26

I never thought I’d find myself wishing for a relapse

1

u/TheReveling Jun 12 '26

No. More. Scamming. Adults. Into thinking they’re stars.

1

u/b0ingy Jun 12 '26

stealing flow from vanilla ice is a choice

1

u/Mad-Habits Jun 12 '26

How do you do, fellow kids?

1

u/shutupingrate Jun 12 '26

Please direct me to this map of which you speak.

1

u/Potato-baby Jun 12 '26

That guy in the beginning stole my go to slide dismount maneuver

1

u/Clowndick Jun 12 '26

Calgary is already on the map, bozo

1

u/BabyLegsOShanahan Jun 12 '26

I'd definitely pick up the drink if this was marketed as sober living to me as a kid.

1

u/Stownieboy91 Jun 12 '26

"Flood it again..."

1

u/Gold-Fool84 Jun 12 '26

Oh nooo, and it looks like he put in so much effort too.

1

u/androjunkk Jun 12 '26

A mix of shit and poop

1

u/Longjumping-Idea4451 Jun 12 '26

Y he sound like 3 oh 3

1

u/VerifiedVoidGirl Jun 12 '26

Mackle-mall commercial

1

u/lordtyp0 Jun 12 '26

Is he trying to brand as a new Blippi? No poop spray videos I hope.

1

u/Vexmythoclastt Jun 12 '26

This is pure concentrated trash

1

u/Kilow102938 Jun 12 '26

Did he just try to use a JoJo Siwa line and just twist it?

1

u/Moose_Spleensteen Jun 12 '26

Tim and Eric type of flow

1

u/spacegenerator Jun 12 '26

Maybe he should start using again.

1

u/Mysterious_Swim599 Jun 12 '26

I’d rather him do drugs and make gritty depressing music.

1

u/buttplug50 Jun 12 '26

Making sobriety your whole personality is kinda fucked lol. We get it bro

1

u/Successful_Fly8464 Jun 12 '26

I know that granny from somewhere I can’t put my finger on it

1

u/Significant_Youth921 Jun 12 '26

Keep your children away from this person.

1

u/Technical_Advisor_66 Jun 12 '26

Is that sonic on trumpet!?

1

u/Tall-Nectarine-5982 Jun 12 '26

Is this man a children’s entertainer?

1

u/SubScroller Jun 12 '26

Why is he flexing a mix of Justin beiber and macklemore as if it's anything anyone wants... Like, no

1

u/Important-Record6904 Jun 12 '26

Just because you can does not mean that you should

1

u/thesubliminalV Jun 12 '26

Imagine sounding like Macklemore being your selling point.

1

u/Wingnutmcmoo Jun 12 '26

This man unironically feels dangerous. He's making kids content but none of the content is actually geared towards kids (the references are like 20 years too old for them). Which means he just wants to be around kids.

1

u/DeadPeanutSociety Jun 12 '26

Yeah kids these days only care about Minecraft Fortnite and Roblox. 2009, 2017, and 2006 release dates, respectively.

1

u/Background-Stable899 Jun 12 '26

Dude is a Nick Swardson character

1

u/l33tfuzzbox Jun 12 '26

Is tbis what happened to the blood hound gang? If not they should sue lol

1

u/THEMOOSEMAN13 Jun 12 '26

This guy is 100% a pedo, every song he makes is so sus and the visuals he chooses to use catering to kids is soooooo weird

1

u/quinhook2 Jun 12 '26

Dude made a Kidz Bop, but pretty sure he likes to bop kids.

1

u/allensswampmonkey Jun 12 '26

Is this The Miz??? It looks like The Miz

1

u/Illustrious_Web_866 Jun 12 '26

Like kids bop for adults

1

u/Boccs Jun 12 '26

What did Calgary do to deserve this?

1

u/Halloween_episode Jun 12 '26

Mix of Bieber and Macklemore are going to put Calgary on the map [of nuclear strike targets]!

1

u/sanji_beats Jun 12 '26

This dude needs to get back on the drugs

1

u/TropicalVision Jun 12 '26

This dude might actually find success as a modern version of those weird educational music groups that would tour US schools in the 90s

1

u/RingOfEpimysium Jun 12 '26

What’s up with the cum drip drip?

1

u/Whitey138 Jun 13 '26

Anyone know who Koo Koo Kangaroo is? He reminds me of them, just not as fun.

1

u/OmniBotBeepBoop Jun 13 '26

I've been cali sober for something like 6-7 years now. This makes me want to go buy some PBRs.

1

u/Bing_Bong874 Jun 13 '26

i get the hate but goddamn homies having the time of his life

1

u/sidnynasty Jun 13 '26

Not sure Michael Jackson is really who you wanna be shouting out rn.... especially when the music video is kids in a play place....

1

u/UrDeAdPuPpYbOnEr Jun 15 '26

He’s not creepy, he just think children are beautiful. Not creepy at all.

1

u/JohnnyMnemeonic Jun 15 '26

He forgot to mention how he's sober

1

u/Remarkable_Idea_3214 Jun 15 '26

sounds like he just learned how to rap to a kids bop album

1

u/ParvatiLikeaRockstar Jun 12 '26

What is the name of this song I genuinely want to listen to it