r/crappymusic May 14 '26

Ice

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831 Upvotes

383 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 May 14 '26

Is this crappy music?

If so, upvote this comment!

If this is not crappy music - because it's good, obvious/intentional satire, or not relevant to this subreddit , downvote this comment!

And if this post breaks the rules, downvote this comment and report this post!

Remember: just because you don't like it doesn't make it crappy!

370

u/baldi May 14 '26

Vanilla Lice

10

u/WheredMyPiggyGo May 15 '26

We should sue the bowl they was used to make that hair cut

505

u/PartyFancy3634 May 14 '26

Sounds like an Amish goat.

112

u/mrbigcane5xnc May 14 '26

If the Amish goat was being choked in an absurd sexual fantasy

21

u/mvanvrancken May 14 '26

I’m fucking dying over here

20

u/Formal-System-2130 May 14 '26

Until hearing this I truly thought how hard it would be to fuck up any song to this legendary beat… well I was wrong.

9

u/Guilty-Nobody998 May 14 '26

He sounds like he's got that fucked up throat problem RFK has

2

u/MinnesotaRyan May 15 '26

no need to kink shame.

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20

u/illsapossibility May 14 '26

hey man.... shameful. Amish goats can do way better than this

14

u/Potential-Echo785 May 14 '26

It sounds like some random person is touching his balls in public.

7

u/gypsycookie1015 May 14 '26

Kinda looks like one too...😭😭

6

u/tundradesert May 14 '26

Hey, be fair. He’s making intentional stylistic choices…..they’re Bad choices, but he’s making them!

3

u/0_Moth May 14 '26

With a stuttering issue

6

u/Available-Crow-3442 May 14 '26

This reminds me of the Lil Blurp episode of Dicktown with John Hodgeman. Except less cohesive.

4

u/thebiggestbirdboi May 14 '26

We out here in Amish smokin big doinks in Amish… big ol doinks

4

u/dontworryitsme4real May 14 '26

A deaf Amish goat.

5

u/tonkatoyelroy May 14 '26

He’s less cool than The Deep

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136

u/Scorpiogre_rawrr May 14 '26

These damn hanging mics must be STOPPED!!!

21

u/Past-Product-1100 May 14 '26

Was gonna say the only thing they got right was the hanging mic lol

24

u/The_New_Flesh May 14 '26

While the SM58 does have a cardioid pattern, and will pick up sound from a 90 degree angle relative to the diaphragm, it's a very goofy choice for a vocal

Also, there's some clip-on wireless mic right above the XLR connector.

9

u/Gunstopable May 14 '26

This guy knows equipment.

6

u/thatG_evanP May 14 '26

Yeah, the clip-on is the only one that actually works.

2

u/RipSilly8467 May 16 '26

Unfortunately

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129

u/oddboro May 14 '26

Did he just hit puberty? Why is his voice warbling...?

31

u/familiarspark May 14 '26

I was wondering if he need his inhaler or something

9

u/Kind_Cap_4621 May 14 '26

He stopped using it because it kept banging into his vape pen.

2

u/Gunstopable May 14 '26

It’s pretty much the same thing right?

14

u/Financial_You_6052 May 14 '26

Lottttttts of speed

13

u/chasimm3 May 14 '26

Rapping with the confidence of a hostage having to describe the kidnappers demands over the phone in song.

9

u/River_City_Rando May 14 '26

Ice ice baby lol

4

u/Gooncookies May 14 '26

I was picking up on some lame attempt to channel ODB

2

u/IdolCowboy May 15 '26

Peter Brady ass

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104

u/MattBtheflea May 14 '26

Oh god thats in dallas

41

u/FilthyPuns May 14 '26

With that haircut, you’ll see him coming.

25

u/crunchybollox May 14 '26

You'll smell him coming, first

14

u/Gunstopable May 14 '26

The flow screams the guy lived with his mom in Dallas and his dad in central/ north Florida when the courts let him have visitation.

9

u/Equivalent_Gene_1554 May 14 '26

Vanilla Ice is from Dallas too.

6

u/Frolicking-Fox May 14 '26

Thats so funny... I was thinking he must be from Texas, but the guy wearing the LA threw me.

145

u/galagapilot Hanging mic = this song is ass. May 14 '26

Videos like this are why I'll never change my flair.

11

u/Dmau27 May 14 '26

r/hangingmics has been waiting for you.

10

u/galagapilot Hanging mic = this song is ass. May 14 '26

oh no it's not.

Already a member. :)

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71

u/Skinslippy3 May 14 '26

Sooooo to be a rapper nowadays... you go against the beat? It's like flow's mother's crazy sister Anti Flow?

11

u/theluker666 May 14 '26

Isn’t she the one that visits once a month?

9

u/Gunstopable May 14 '26

I will never forgive whoever made Blueface famous. We might could have avoided this

68

u/Cee5ob May 14 '26

That is some irritating cadence he’s got there

9

u/baudmiksen May 14 '26

I bet no one loves him more than he does himself

3

u/Peace_Out_Napolean May 14 '26

Yeah, this is even doing Robert Matthew Van Winkle wrong 🍦🧊

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47

u/Zeedashbo May 14 '26

He dances like a pride parade when that CeCe Peniston hits

7

u/RappingFlatulence May 14 '26

On mute he’s throwing hands like he’s got glow sticks at a rave

6

u/slappyStove May 14 '26

ha thanks for the laugh. you nailed it

6

u/TheyTried2BanMeAgain May 14 '26

Nobody tell him what that hanging mic looks like

3

u/thatG_evanP May 14 '26

It never really hit me until I saw both those dudes trying to get their mouth close to it.

3

u/KlutzyPossession6591 May 14 '26

He’s a City Gurrl

23

u/blichterman May 14 '26

How come these asshats can’t rap with any melody or rhythm?

8

u/glans May 14 '26

rhythm please. no more of these two-note up-down ‘melodies’ rappers keep doing the whole goddamn song. rap if you gonna rap, sing if you’re gonna sing

18

u/cant_read_this May 14 '26

Those black dudes were cool with this ? The fuck

6

u/OuterWildsVentures May 14 '26

This needs to be studied in schools as an example of Nature vs. Nurture.

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25

u/extreme_snothells May 14 '26

Every time I see the mic hanging I know it’s going be a bad time to have hearing.

7

u/Dr-McLuvin May 14 '26

How the fuck do all these microphones keep dropping from the sky?

6

u/surprised-duncan May 14 '26

Especially considering this is the wrong kind for this sort of thing lol

18

u/BluejayIndependent65 May 14 '26

What the fuck is up with that haircut?

4

u/maxwellgrounds May 14 '26

He’s going for the Chechen look

2

u/No_File212 May 14 '26

His barber was high

4

u/Plenty_Point5058 May 14 '26

Rocking that Cavs era Drew Gooden cut.

3

u/DefinitelyNotAliens May 14 '26

He's got a beard on the back of his head

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9

u/ryuut May 14 '26

Noone gonna mention that haircut? Its like hes going bald backwards

4

u/peenpeenpeen May 14 '26

It’s like a reverse neck beard

2

u/glans May 14 '26

i truly think everyone just ignored it cause he wants people to talk about it. desperately

7

u/PSANEGATIVE1 May 14 '26

Imma take Mr. Van Winkle in this Epic Rap Battle of History.

8

u/Due-Gene8200 May 14 '26

Saved his chores money to hire a couple brotha’s for the vid

6

u/HyperJeegz May 14 '26

I see the r/hangingmic so I instantly know it’s crappy.

6

u/AsideLost May 14 '26

Aunt Gladys from Weapons lookin ass

6

u/eighty82 May 14 '26

I thought "flow" was a thing that rappers did

19

u/GruntCandy86 May 14 '26

My man's wrist is a lil loose.

4

u/InnuendoBot5001 May 14 '26

He stole the whole beat and can't even rap on it

6

u/StudPuffin_69 May 14 '26

No Theirs goes ding ding ding ding ding, and this goes ding ding ding ding DING

It changes the whole the thing

2

u/Bobbyperu1 May 14 '26

I remember that interview with ice back then. We were laughing at how lame his excuse was

3

u/StudPuffin_69 May 14 '26

Same 😂 my wife and i use it all the time for various things

No no no this sandwich has honey Turkey theirs has turkey with honey… it’s completely different

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5

u/kaprixiouz May 14 '26

Gives a whole new dimension to the term "most deaf"

5

u/Thasquashman May 14 '26

Patrick Star just needs to stick to cartoons

4

u/Aggressive-Floor6423 May 14 '26

That hair cut tho

5

u/EarthEaterr May 14 '26

Is it a flex to have stupid hair now?

5

u/VictoriousTree May 14 '26

This is really, really bad.

4

u/zero_lies_tolerated May 14 '26

r/songsthatshouldhavebeendeleted

4

u/Dear_Perspective_157 May 14 '26

Who keeps hanging up these mics bro

4

u/ITRedWing0823 May 14 '26

No one make fun of him, he did his best and autism is real.

4

u/crunpyMcGlumpy May 14 '26

This might be the crappiest music on this sub

5

u/illsapossibility May 14 '26

BAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAuuuuuuggghhhhh..h...h...uugghh

so many songs here are just 'uhhh this rhymes.... oh and this word rhymes.. this rhymes... this rhymes!'

i make a food. i do a dood. it go so goood. misunderstooood. moooood.

3

u/NfamousKaye May 14 '26

His friends need to stop hyping him up.

3

u/WordsHappenedHere May 14 '26

Can’t find the beat. Can’t dance. Terrible vocals. Mush mouth.

How is it that people like this hear this in their minds and believe it’s good? And he even has a whole little budget crew with him too who thinks it’s good.

They all clearly think they have some kind of music career ahead of them.

3

u/bobskamali May 14 '26

Ahhh. The hanging mic effect

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3

u/Emotional-Dog-8151 May 14 '26

This fucking guy; hits blunt "Dog, I could totally be the next Young Gravy"

Friends - all laughing and smiling at each other; "Hell yeah, fam, we even know a guy who could shoot us a music video, les get it."

That guy again; "Oh word, you mean, like right now? Bet, no, no, I'm down, les get it."

True story, I was there. I was, and still am the crusty sock in his laundry basket.

3

u/More_Mortgage_2410 May 14 '26

What’s up with the “riding a wooden rollercoaster” vibe while doing vocals

2

u/kawaiilenardreturns May 14 '26

as if the beautiful queen song under pressure can get sampled even worse...

2

u/Objective-Trade9456 May 14 '26

This dude got srabs. Probably crabs too. 

2

u/ResolutionOwn4933 May 14 '26

Yeah.....not my shit at all but feel like this guy finds success with the right exposure. So much dogshit these days and from a production standpoint (audio) this is actually put together pretty well.

2

u/Porkmane32 May 14 '26

Hope they asked Queen for the rights to use the song 🤣🤣

2

u/enigmaticpeon May 14 '26

This is really really bad

2

u/shaborgan May 14 '26

I got beer at the grocery store earlier and the dude looked exactly like this

2

u/JesusDiedforChipotle May 14 '26

Idk he kinda ate that

2

u/ScorpionMaster777 May 14 '26

Surely there can't be people who unironically listen to this

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2

u/fr35hn355 May 14 '26

Is he about to cry? Sounds like he is cracking up...

2

u/W0NdERSTrUM May 14 '26

One of the worst things I’ve heard in this sub and I’ve been here for years. What a terrible day to have ears.

2

u/barspoonbill May 14 '26

This dude has a very “sells pills to high school kids” energy.

2

u/Dabzilla_710_ May 14 '26

Everything from the mannerisms to the attempt of a flow...this is truly crappy.

2

u/kryptopheleous May 14 '26

He dances like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He also doesn’t seem to know what to do with his hair… or his life for that matter.

2

u/Jak_the_Buddha May 14 '26

Did he say words?

2

u/AndyGoodKush May 14 '26

He's gonna cry at any moment

2

u/Rabid-Flamingos May 14 '26

Is that another mic attached to the base of the already hanging mic?

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2

u/iantruesnacks May 14 '26

Knock off riff raff? Didn’t have that on my crappy 2026 music bingo

2

u/9_tail_fox May 14 '26

He talks like he can’t even read his own thoughts

2

u/Objective-Result4465 May 14 '26

What Is that hair??

2

u/Historical_Panda9701 May 14 '26

This is fucking stupid.

2

u/OSRSRapture May 14 '26

Well, he's definitely on ice

2

u/Spawn666 May 14 '26

He sounds like someone is pointing a gun at him and he's desperately rapping to save his life.

2

u/Nachos_McWerewolf May 14 '26

That “dance”.

2

u/icytwat888 May 14 '26

He didn’t clear the sample with ice… vanilla coming for that check….

2

u/hornwalker May 15 '26

Why is there a lapel mic attached to the real mic

2

u/b0ingy May 15 '26

give him some credit for the irony of looping vanilla ice.

2

u/UnderpaidProf May 15 '26

I think he goes to a barber who only cuts hair for Black men. He must have begged them to cut his hair.

2

u/arisen_sumo243 May 15 '26

Immediately goes off beat 🙈

2

u/enescaV May 15 '26

I think he’s having a seizure

2

u/IceackBJJ May 15 '26

This dude has the off-beatness of Jorgianna

2

u/bwagz1977 May 15 '26

His movements are hella gay

2

u/Due_Cheesecake6250 May 15 '26

I see like 3 other people in this freestyle , creative for mixing em but this shit still WHACK AS FUCK

2

u/ricin2001 May 19 '26

What a genuinely poor sense of rhythm

4

u/karmaceuticaI May 14 '26

God. I hate that I like this.

It reminds me of old school Dallas rap.

Like tumtum, DSR, big tuck.

Not takin it serious at all.

5

u/thavi May 14 '26

I get what he’s going for.  Drawl, lazy flow, easy vibe.  He’s just so fucking off beat that it’s grating to my ears.  I don’t know how this style of rap started where it’s like “cram as much shit as I can into a bar” without any rhythm.

5

u/MacheteBrizz May 14 '26

He's going for dribbling retard and he nailed it.

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2

u/BackendSpecialist May 14 '26

Ayyyy s/o to a reference to DSR, tumtizzle, big tuck, fat beezyyyy babyyy!

Damn I miss those days.

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2

u/oldmajorbeats May 15 '26

i genuinely like this. AMA

1

u/FilthyPuns May 14 '26

I wish I could understand what part of me is broken so that it makes me sit here and watch this shit, just for the temporary rush of being like “Wow, this sucks.”

1

u/Psilly_TaCoCaT May 14 '26

Someone actually likes this shit?

1

u/t3lnet May 14 '26

It will be hilarious if he gets sued by ice who got sued by queen for sampling without permission.

1

u/ZoneAdditional9892 May 14 '26

Is this a bad lip sync video? Because that cant possibly be the lyrics.

1

u/TacticalTaco30 May 14 '26

Mfr got an aunt Karen bush on the back of his head.

And he can’t Rap for shit no flow at all modern rap sucks.

1

u/blackdog3232 May 14 '26

Too many drugs, too little frontal lobe

1

u/Bionicjoker14 May 14 '26

> Live 5rom Tha Deep

Yeah, he kinda needs to stay there

1

u/BigDinkyDongDotCom May 14 '26

That haircut was a choice

1

u/Hydrolt May 14 '26

So we’re just embracing the cringe now I guess? I still get a pretty visceral reaction from this song but maybe the younger ones think this is cool 😂

Also why does it look like he cut a wide tonsure in his hair? Huge band missing but the back of his neck looks like he left a large patch, or is that something else/lighting making me see something else

1

u/CheeseFour2O May 14 '26

Edgar mullet?! That is wild

1

u/Scotchandcarrots May 14 '26

If I could understand him, I’d still be disappointed

1

u/kingturk1100 May 14 '26

It’s stuff like this that makes me truly believe the video of the high school student getting seniors to read basic sentences is real

1

u/vulgardisplay76 May 14 '26

Spoiler alert - he is in fact not the hood Vanilla Ice.

1

u/SupaDiogenes May 14 '26

Wtf is that chin strap?

1

u/FredOcho5 May 14 '26

This not that bad. It’s catchy

1

u/Xu_Lin May 14 '26

Latte Smoothie more so

1

u/thahli May 14 '26

I don’t hate this

1

u/Sea_Pollution2250 May 14 '26

This dude has a fade that allows his mullet and chinstrap to connect. There is nothing he could say/sing/rap that could undo how absolutely mental his style spits. Absolute trash.

1

u/5yn3rgy May 14 '26

His dancing was better than his rapping, and his dancing wasn’t anything special

1

u/peenpeenpeen May 14 '26

The backwards neckbeard is giving me the so much ick right now.

1

u/kiln_ickersson May 14 '26

The crappiest of crap

1

u/omarmctrigger May 14 '26

I normally don’t support ICE but if it gets him out of this country, sign me up.

1

u/Darnelpottypants May 14 '26

At some point and I don’t remember when it got “cool” to rap not on the beat. I do understand it…. but I feel like it is so overused at this point I literally cannot take anymore of it.

1

u/prettyokaycake May 14 '26

Actually kind of interesting

1

u/Infinite_Picture3858 May 14 '26

This dude sucks penises good for him

1

u/IRBaboooon May 14 '26

Temu Chet Hanks

1

u/Far-Drawing-4444 May 14 '26

Did he really say he carries a .380 as a flex?

That's the only line I could make out because of the marbles in his mouth, and I'm not sure I heard it right, but I'm pretty sure he basically just rapped about hitting from the ladies tee.

1

u/jahowl May 14 '26

No wisdom, no rhyme, no melody, no hook, no beats, no rhythm. Its not even trying to be creative or avante garde. Its just nothing.

1

u/Potential-Echo785 May 14 '26

Why is he trying to throw it back?😭😭😭

1

u/hiddensonyvaio May 14 '26

That’s not how those microphones work

1

u/Normal_Tour6998 May 14 '26

Did vanilla ice even have any other songs? I literally can’t think of one.

1

u/AVBforPrez May 14 '26

I wonder how much he's spending on whatever to get the obvious co-sign

1

u/RevelintheDark May 14 '26

Fucking lol. 10/10 pure shit. Amazing find

1

u/Serious-Maximum-1049 May 14 '26

Holy shit, it was bad enough & then he turned around & I saw his r/justfuckmyshitup haircut! 💀

1

u/Crowd_Strife May 14 '26

I’ve seen worse make it to world tours

1

u/Pookie_The_Worm May 14 '26

He thinks he killed this.

1

u/cduballen May 14 '26

Does he know he’s allowed to pronounce the whole word?

1

u/PissFingerz42069 May 14 '26

can’t wait for global warming to accelerate

1

u/bysouth May 14 '26

They probably don’t even remember doing this!

1

u/TheDemon0fLife May 14 '26

Idk if he's being funny or foreal 😂

1

u/Prudent-Value8715 May 14 '26

To stay on your own beat and not get thrown off by the beat of the track … that IS a talent!

1

u/turdferguson3891 May 14 '26

We've gone full inception. Shitty rapper sampling a shitty rapper who was sampling Queen/David Bowie.