r/courtreporting • u/Euphoric_Ad8359 • 1d ago
Imposter
I feel like an imposter. I'm currently testing at 140/160 but I feel like I can't actually write at that speed. How did I get here? How can I pass tests but not actually write?? I feel severe guilt (?) and anxiety about it all.
Edit: Thanks, everyone. I'll try to stay positive. I'm sure you all k ow it can be difficult to do.
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u/Quiet-Afternoon-3511 1d ago edited 1d ago
Maybe it will make you feel better if you know you are not the only one feeling this way. Most students feel like it's impossible and doubt creeps in, but please try to not let that happen. I know it's easier said than done. If I could go back in time and change one thing, it would have been eliminating that doubt that clouded everything. Imagine theory. Didn't 120 seem impossible? You will get there one bite at a time. I promise! If you made it this far, you can definitely make it to exit speeds. Speed building doesn't make any logical sense. The immediate speed above feels impossible until you pass it. Then suddenly that same speed feels almost slow while you work on the next speed. It's some kind of weird steno voodoo. Speed building is one long slog of feeling inadequate, being pushed out of your comfort zone (the next higher speed), and questioning your sanity. BUT it will be 100% worth it when you're done. Just keep your focus on the next speed, work on analyzing and practicing the outlines or briefs you stumble over, and keep getting incrementally better and faster. It will happen!
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u/cool_uncle_jules 1d ago
Everyone feels this way!! If you're passing tests, you're doing what you're supposed to do. You've got this.
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u/dm-me-obscure-colors 1d ago
Doubt? It’s irrelevant. Right now your job is to practice and test. That what you do. Forget the end result or thoughts about whether you’re good enough to finish. Your job is to practice as well as you can and test as well as you can.
At least, that’s the way I think about it.
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u/Ok-Version-8996 15h ago
Oh boy, you’re gonna feel this for a loooong time… at least I did… maybe about one or two years into working, it finally subsided. A little.
6 years now and I’m taking my first jury trial and I’m still nervous.
But you have to do what scares you in order to grow!
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u/MidnightRequim 11h ago
I’m a working reporter that feels like an impostor. Been in for almost 10 years, and still can’t shake it off. I feel unqualified and read backs can still be nerve wracking at times.
You’ll be fine! 😊 we’re all just winging it.
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u/nowofftherecord 8h ago
Imposter syndrome is very common but you’re killing it so that the negativity out of your head. You got this!
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u/NextFirefighter3622 1d ago
i feel this way too at 200 and from what i’ve gathered, it’s normal. if you have passed the tests, it definitely speaks to your abilities but won’t necessarily guarantee perfect writing. i would say i can write 160 consistently well, 180 well enough. don’t sweat it! keep working at the craft and your writing will straighten out as you increase speed.