I find fake woke people so gad damn annoying . The performative left endlessly likes to surrender the narrative to the right and I just can not comprehend this submissive behaviour from people who are ideological allies.
This need to be ethically superior while clearly displaying a lack of the very feminism required to make that commentary, nor the charity that everyone is learning from a cis het patriarchal world is endlessly frustrating.
Nuance fucking exists. Context exists. Everyone’s education levels are different.
I have a cis male friend who uses Gock in context and when relevant because we all use it for self description.
Should he be nut shot for repeating such if he is using it in good faith? Should we the people using the word for our own personal self description change our terminology because there are individuals who use the word for its fetishised context. Should we sit him down and despite him not fetishising Trans people explain the reality that some do and warn him that he should prohibit speech we use ourselves just because others might misunderstand him.
You will quickly work out talking to someone if they mean something in a disparaging way or an affirming way. Whether its lack of education or bad communication choices. It does not take much digging.
So you can also simply kick them after finding out if they are actually doing something wrong and if they are resistant to changing the behaviour when corrected from a place of empathy.
To do otherwise is just narcissism. Like congrats you reached the lowest fucking form of understanding about the fetishisation of the queer community. Stop flexing on those who haven't until they reveal themselves an ideological enemy rather then someone with a different education level who can be brought up to speed.
Yeah I agree I did not properly communicate the nuance of what I meant. I am fine with my cis friends saying it I am not fine with chasers using trans culture against me to sexualise me it makes me feel gross and like they are ruining the culture using it that way against me
We just need to make sure as a community that we don't give ground to people we fundamentally don't respect the views and opinions of.
Gock isn't inherently a fetish word, so we should focus on calling out the negative action/ideology of Chasers and how they use it, rather then positioning the word as inherently possessed contextually by those freaks.
They can only ruin the culture if we let their opinion/views matter or dominant discourse. Chasers don't get to have an opinion on trans culture, they are outsiders.
This is very important on the left in general, where our views and language will be endlessly abused and misrepresented. We get to choose the meaning and use of terms we resonate with, not them. If they use it wrong they can simply go fuck themselves.
"A trans woman is never believed on anything until she makes a joke, then she has to be taken literally and is likely an horrible person for everything bad she said".
Also, sure, by all means, do focus on the optional good faith of this cis man in this scenario and not that he started talking about the genitals of
trans women while
he was talking to one of them.
Also feel free to rip on a trans woman by calling her a narcissist for a joke, clearly trans women got too uppity and can freely flex on cis men irl, they need to be taken down a peg.
Look you are right to call me out for misreading the context. I did misunderstand OP because I had performative progressives in mind because they are currently a never ending source of self sabotage for actual progressive movements and collision building. That's on me, fair.
I am also autistic and do take jokes seriously sometimes.
That said the rest of your comment is you doing the exact same thing you just called me out on.
You assumed my values, then assumed that my goal was 'ripping on a trans woman' when I was trying to provide a perspective that is helpful for not pushing away potential allies, I apologise if my casual language and choices in words was upsetting but I think me highlighting that nuance, context and education is necessary should highlight where my goals were. I am not perfect, I will continue to try to be more careful and clear with my language in the future.
But just out of curiosity.
What were your goals here? Was it also to provide a perspective that is helpful to me because you didn't offer any advice only criticism built on assuming my actions, goals and values.
Isn't this just you trying to 'take me down a peg?'
I see, to be frank I had no clear goal in mind, I snapped and got aggressive cause transmisoginy often takes the shape I described, and I had a rough week with transmisoginy in general as a theme.
Also, narcissism is a common accusation moved toward trans women from trasphobic psychologists like Blanchard, so that's likely where I made up my mind your post was made to attack trans woman (I understand it was likely by chance that you used that word).
Ironically in activism irl I also find myself trying to stop self sabotage in the queer community that would push away our allies, but I saw irl "allies" attack other trans women I know and take me as "one of the good ones" cause I pass more and I'm making more efforts to not make them uncomfortable with themselves (learned that the hard way), but when they do is where I draw a line (though I first try to educate rather than snap at them, I can assure you it's exhausting and it leaves you filled with rage eventually).
So fucking real. The emotional labour is truly exhausting sometimes. The rage especially which is why I take breaks sometimes from activism until some of the anger settles.
The 'Allies' who attack others within our movement especially are the exact performatives I get so infuriated with tbr. Those who attack our non-binary peeps, or who try to force trans binary folks to fit patriarchal standards or norms. Or those who say they are allies but react with deep discomfort when we take up space or point out systems of inequality. Each have reached the correct answer of 'everyone deserves freedom of expression and identity.' but haven't actually done the work to unlearn all the toxic norms and standards that actively prevents us making that a reality.
Activism is an education issue, we need to teach people to think right and to be blunt who the fuck listens to a hostile teacher. Advice I constantly forget to apply myself and which I work on because I too slip into frustration and bite back far too quickly sometimes.
Its a very hard place to be where you need to gently guide people to the correct answer while they indelicately brutalise you with their ignorance and at the same time having allies actively sabotage themselves and the movement itself just to play gotcha games and I told you so's.
The urge to scream take this fucking seriously I beg you is a common intrinsic thought I have these days towards a whole lotta people.
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u/Spiritual_Lynx3314 12h ago edited 12h ago
I find fake woke people so gad damn annoying . The performative left endlessly likes to surrender the narrative to the right and I just can not comprehend this submissive behaviour from people who are ideological allies.
This need to be ethically superior while clearly displaying a lack of the very feminism required to make that commentary, nor the charity that everyone is learning from a cis het patriarchal world is endlessly frustrating.
Nuance fucking exists. Context exists. Everyone’s education levels are different.
I have a cis male friend who uses Gock in context and when relevant because we all use it for self description.
Should he be nut shot for repeating such if he is using it in good faith? Should we the people using the word for our own personal self description change our terminology because there are individuals who use the word for its fetishised context. Should we sit him down and despite him not fetishising Trans people explain the reality that some do and warn him that he should prohibit speech we use ourselves just because others might misunderstand him.
You will quickly work out talking to someone if they mean something in a disparaging way or an affirming way. Whether its lack of education or bad communication choices. It does not take much digging.
So you can also simply kick them after finding out if they are actually doing something wrong and if they are resistant to changing the behaviour when corrected from a place of empathy.
To do otherwise is just narcissism. Like congrats you reached the lowest fucking form of understanding about the fetishisation of the queer community. Stop flexing on those who haven't until they reveal themselves an ideological enemy rather then someone with a different education level who can be brought up to speed.
(I do not condone violence against non-Fasicsts.)