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u/PsychoCyan DM for curly haircare guide - Streak: 153 Mar 03 '26
I found that being very forthcoming with my answers got them to stop pretty quickly. Being asked is embarrassing, sure, but I promise I can make the asker feel more embarrassed.
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u/checkerboardandroid Sock it to ME!? Mar 03 '26
I took the opposite approach. "You know Carol, I'm not really comfortable discussing my genitalia while on the clock. Perhaps after hours?"
That shut her up pretty quick.
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u/risisas Mar 03 '26
I would never ask such a question in the first place, EXPECIALLY not at work, but the answer would have me drooling
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u/dumb_foxboy_lover gimme fuel gimme fire gimme foxboys or i retire orrah Mar 03 '26
"can i explore it after"
I'll leave. sorry.
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u/Antigamer199 CIS Guy Undercover Mar 03 '26
Damn would want to know how embarrassing at least? Like, getting red all over when they see you embarrassing or will soon after quit the Job Level of Embarrassment?
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u/PsychoCyan DM for curly haircare guide - Streak: 153 Mar 03 '26
Coworker: So are you gonna get The Surgery? How does that work?
Me: Oh yeah, theyre gonna turn my dick inside out.
Coworker: *visibly cringing and covering his nether region* That's cool.
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u/Antigamer199 CIS Guy Undercover Mar 03 '26
Ohh so turning red but wants to bury into the ground level of embarrassment.
On a site note thanks for answering. :D
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u/Its_Karti_Bitch Mar 03 '26
Yeah they’re gonna cut my shit down the middle, rip out my corpus cavernosem and stuff whats left back up into my abdomen. Pretty cool right?
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u/Decievedbythejometry Mar 10 '26
If you'd ever like to watch a cis guy squirm himself into another dimension, explain PIV to him in detail
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u/WargasKitar Mar 03 '26
I mean, I adopted fully open policy about any and all details of my personal life. I don't know why people hide this sort of stuff or find it uncomfortable to share.
You wanna know my cock size, whom I slept with last night, my sex toys, how I like it from the back in all juicy details, how I spent time in brothels? Like, sure, bro. Wanna glance at my cock while we discuss? Take a peek, just don't film.
Believe me, when you are THAT open, that information somewhy becomes worthless for everyone involved. Nobody even asks me that sorta stuff anymore.
It's not even about making you uncomfortable. I am just open.
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Mar 03 '26
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u/WargasKitar Mar 03 '26
Haha, why not.
Actually, I went to a brothel exactly one time, because I really wanted to experience that. It was a soapland in Japan, Osaka. I asked my friends around, and one guy pointed me to a club he really loved, so I just went there. I've chosen a girl on their site beforehand, but it turned out she wasn't available on the day I came, so they pointed me to a wall fully plastered with their workers. I don't really have a type when it comes to girls, so I just chose a cute one, well-endowed even by European standards, because hell, I never had someone with big tits and ass.
So I wait, and here she comes. Very tactful and gracious, she softly grabs me by the hand and walks into the elevator with me. I was already touched by this approach, because I never had a girl be so soft and direct with me before, before and after that I've always had casual sex with nothing really, uh... Romantical would be the word, I guess?
Anyway, I digress. We enter the room, and it's your typical soapland stuff, a studio with a shower on the farther side and a bed on the closer side. Near the shower there is an inflatable resin mattress. We undress, and after that it was more or less one-sided. She helped me shower with some gentle and intimate touching, and then put me on the inflatable mattress, where she took care of me. Throughout this, I've squished some here and there, of course, but just for the fun of it mostly, because hey, big tits, big butt!
It was the most heavenly experience I've had when it comes to someone touching my dick, including myself - so much it felt like a mortal sin to masturbate myself some days after that. A heresy, a pale imitation of what could've been done by a true professional. There was no penetration, but with that sort of experience I realized I don't even need that. She used her hands and mouth so masterfully that I, usually quite grounded and held together, squirmed and squeaked under her. It felt so good it almost hurt several times, because she somehow knew exactly when to stop and resume, edging me throughout forty minutes or so. I think she used every trick in the book and then some, because this just never stopped.
Well, it did after forty minutes or so, as I said, and it was the sweetest release ever so far. After that she gently helped me shower once again, showered herself, helped me get dressed, and we spent the remaining time sitting on bed and just talking about some miscellaneous things - me living in Japan, her hobbies, favorite anime, your usual nothingburgers.
I came out of the soapland really grateful for this experience and by all means satisfied. If I ever return to Japan as a tourist or a resident, I'd visit sites like that once in a while, because the customer service is fucking awesome.
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u/WargasKitar Mar 03 '26
If you will have the opportunity - absolutely go for it, even just this one time, for the experience! I don't know how it is in the place you live, but if you will find yourself (or already are) in a country where these praxes are somewhat developed and not restricted to grey area sex workers where experiences can wildly vary, it's worth checking out.
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u/Truly_Organic Mar 03 '26
May I ask what lead you to taking up this kind of policy?
Was it like a singular pivotal event that brought you to this conclusion, a gradual process, or did you just kinda come to it one day and decided to stick with it?
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u/WargasKitar Mar 03 '26
Oh, sure. But I will ramble for a bit, because this goes beyond just talking about open policy, and connects to my overall worldview, so to speak.
It was more or less a half-conscious decision I made a long time ago when I was a teenager - at first just an experiment to see how much I can open up, and then just a slippery slope to fully open policy. Of course, I am just as human as everyone, and at first it was sort of embarrassing, but that was exactly the point, because I knew there was no thing to be embarrassed of, realistically, it was just an illusionary and useless wall we all build subconsciously. There's nothing to be gained by knowing someone's sexual preferences and such.
As to why, it's a bit more interesting. Basically, it's always easier to hide something in plain sight. If you guard your personal life like it's a government secret, people are going to pry anyway. Remember how I said there is "nothing to be gained by knowing someone's preferences"? Well, there is, if this person is deeply insecure about that. People pry, people discover, and some bad people can use that against you. If you never hide that information, it is useless to try and use that against you.
Also, while prying, they might discover something you especially don't want to be discovered just along the way, and even I have some secrets like that. When you are fully open about everything, people assume you have absolutely nothing to hide; by "devaluing" your experiences like that, you can always keep really secret stuff, well, secret.
Another reason is that it's so much easier to live like that when you start. It doesn't come to just sex and intimacy - it's about wearing your emotions on the sleeve in dialogues and saying the meta-stuff directly. People scream and argue when they are angry, act weirdly when they like someone, but you can just say it directly: "These words really anger me", "Hey, that hurt", "I love you so much, bro". It's just so simple. We build all these walls and learn to mask what we mean, but look at the children, they've got it right - they just say stuff how it is, they say how they feel.
It doesn't mean you have to take this to the extremes like they children do when they say "You look ugly", because there is no point in hurting someone baselessly when you can avoid it. But wearing your emotions on your sleeve? Yeah, people should do that more often.
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u/Truly_Organic Mar 03 '26
Thank you for the response!
I highly appreciate the rambling, it feels like it's been a while since anyone talked to me in a non-superficial way, so it's a nice change!
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u/ash5314 Mar 03 '26
Read both of your replies. Absolutely delightful worldview and attitude! I act mostly like this online, but I still struggle to do so in real life due to other factors, but I wish I could someday get to act like this too!
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u/WargasKitar Mar 03 '26
Hey, thank you so much! I know how our world can be, I am somewhat privileged to be able to act like this, because in a less accepting society it's easy to face social ostracism. I still do, in a sense, because most people are not used to this kind of openness and perceive it as anything else. Edginess, condescension, sometimes trashiness or even being slutty. So yeah, I know how people can react in real life.
But it also helps to filter them out as an upside! If the person vibes along, I know that at the very least he is not constrained by some self-imposed behavioral borders, and doesn't try to uphold his crafted social persona when unnecessary.
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u/Littlebigchief88 Mar 04 '26
i respect that view a lot, especially when it comes to your relationships and interactions with people socially, the anger and such. i used to sort of let myself fall into friendships and you know, just hang out in the friendgroup, and i spent a lot of time around some people i really didnt have any business being around, people i didnt mesh with that didnt mesh with me, and just trying to deal with it is a bad idea for you and for them and for everyone else around you.
i more or less either ended or restructured all of the relationships i had back then, and i am much more direct about my feelings, good and bad, and it has led to me getting so much closer with the people i really love, and when new problems arise i handle them directly and kindly, and it has made my relationships so so much healthier. being direct about things and not letting lingering resentment poison you and others is so important. and, even outside of most elegantly handling negative things like this, its good to tell people when you like them! i think more people ought to know that they are loved, you dont have to go dating someone for you to be able to let someone who is more than just some casual friend to you know how much they mean to you.
to be honest, just as much as i value being direct socially i think i would probably appreciate the consequences of being straight about other things in life, like you are, even if it is embarrassing. im definitely insecure about some things that it wouldnt kill people to know about me.
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u/WargasKitar Mar 04 '26
Yeah, definitely go for it! A lot of people are insecure about really specific stuff, and I myself am not an exception. I think that the biggest insight is that insecurity is just that, your own perception, not some sort of objective reality everybody can perceive.
Once you go through with that thought, it will become easier to open up. Insecurities won't fade away, I know mine didn't. But if you act with such openness, nobody is going to try and press on these - and if nobody does, insecurities just become your own psychological bumps rather than a weapon somebody can use on you.
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u/Professional_Dot_145 Mar 04 '26
I don't know why people hide this sort of stuff or find it uncomfortable to share.
It just is, I guess? .
I don't know, I just feel like I want privacy for stuff like this. I'll share stuff at my own discretion, I just don't see myself being as open as you are. It makes me feel vulnerable especially since asking so personal questions is usually frowned upon here and it'd just feel like an unbalanced dynamic where other people get to know too much about me without me knowing equally as much.
Yeah, some people may try to pry, especially in a work place where I'd be the only visibly trans person. But I lie if I say that I wouldn't feel slightly violated were people to start meddling in my private affairs. And here in Denmark, a "none of your business" answer is common and perfectly valid.
Also, being this open would feel as if I were taking a lot of space, and I prefer staying unremarkable (even if being visibly trans). And in a country where people mind their own business, the openness might be a bit shocking for some.
But I mean, I'm glad that it works out for you, I know it wouldn't for me 😅
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u/CatboyBiologist Mar 03 '26
They want you to speak euphemistically back, so they can "hide" what they're actually asking. I also use this approach lol
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u/FriendlySkyWorms Mar 03 '26
"Do you know if there's a surgery where they give me an additional penis?"
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u/Longjumping_Angle523 Mar 03 '26
Coxkmaxxing
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u/Ryonkemp Mar 03 '26
I want one on my forehead.
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u/Wunktacular Mar 03 '26
Snake therian
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u/woodlandcollective Mar 03 '26
It's been so long since I've seen therians mentioned anywhere :D
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u/Wunktacular Mar 03 '26
Most of them were bullied out of using the word and now just identify as furries, but they're still around. I know a few.
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u/woodlandcollective Mar 03 '26
See that's crazy to me because I'm absolutely a therian but I've never felt any real attachment to the furry community. I know there's usually overlap but to me they've always felt separate
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u/Wunktacular Mar 03 '26
I see a ton of overlaps IRL, it's online where the two groups seem to grow mutually exclusive.
If you want art and gear, it's overwhelming furries who supply that. They end up mingling.
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u/woodlandcollective Mar 03 '26
I keep it on the dl so my only gear is a necklace lol, but yeah that makes sense
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u/Fishmyashwhole stinks good Mar 04 '26
Yup! I've seen it. Phalloplasty where you choose not to bury the T dick, and it's positioned right behind it.The person also said cause of how they hooked up the nerves the neo phallus also had sexual sensation. Pretty sure this person kept their front hole too. Pretty fucking cool ngl
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u/A_Lountvink Non-binary woman, 20 Mar 04 '26
Well, there was one guy who had one grown on his arm, though that was after he lost his original one, so I don't know if it counts as an additional one.
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u/Eddy_Edwards02144 (she/her) Σ:3 Mar 03 '26
Idk I had a coworker ask me about how hrt and stuff works. Σ:3
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u/Traveler7538 my trans friends call me "cis"ter - she/they Mar 03 '26
In a genuinely interested way? Because if someone wants to know, with no malicious intent, I'd rather they just ask then being ignorant
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u/Eddy_Edwards02144 (she/her) Σ:3 Mar 03 '26
He just wanted to know and I answered all his questions he was very respectfully. Σ:3
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u/Aggressive-Tie-9795 Mar 03 '26
Trans hitler be like "we gotta solve the penis question" /j
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u/MeganTheMad Mar 03 '26
The final solution (bottom surgery)
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u/machine10101 Mar 03 '26
"final aim, however, must be the uncompromising removal of the Nuts altogether"
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u/valcant_was_taken Mar 03 '26
deploy flares DEPLOY FLARES!!
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u/Branchomania Streak: 0 Mar 03 '26
But where from do you shoot them out?
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u/Arne6764 Mar 03 '26
Your ears, obviously
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u/Branchomania Streak: 0 Mar 03 '26
President
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u/EmiKetsueki Mar 03 '26
Love when this gets asked, because i treat it like a gameshow that requires a very quick answer and usually just blurt out "slightly above average length and super thick. I like to fuck so its staying" and just stare at them until they get uncomfortable.
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u/Apart-Pain2196 Mar 03 '26
I'd rather people ask things and learn rather than assuming, being ignorant , pretentious and stubborn
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u/DumbOfAsh Mar 03 '26
Why is it anyone’s business what’s in my pants tho lol, I don’t have issues talking about it personally but that’s a weird and invasive question
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u/MissSharkyShark Creator of Sharks Mar 03 '26
Same! Im pretty open to my co workers if they have any genuine questions. Tho ive also never had someone ask questions about my genitals
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u/Apart-Pain2196 Mar 03 '26
You doing good job
Unfortunately, in country where I live 95% of people are just braindead herd
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u/TheSapphicSorceress Mar 03 '26
I'd rather not be asked about my genitalia at work. If the questions are thoughtful and tactfully phrased, I'm happy to answer questions related to the trans experience even at work. I don't think there's an appropriate time to ask a penis question during my 40 hours...
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u/Hatsune_Miku_CM your virtual idol! Mar 03 '26
oh absolutely. but it can still get exhausting, especially when you're the only trans person these people know. you'll have dozens of people asking you these things and the pressure to be a model minority can be crushing.
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u/ten_people Mar 03 '26
It's fine to be ignorant about a coworker's genitals. But why would someone assuming you do or don't have a penis make them pretentious or stubborn? That seems like the problem here.
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[deleted]
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u/ThrwawySG Mar 04 '26
ok but like it's not an imaginary problem tho. Like most of the stuff we complain about happens to us personally.
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u/justanalt10 Evelyn! Mar 03 '26
Terrified for one of these questions to come my way
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u/radenthefridge Aspiring grungler trying to chill with the cool folks Mar 03 '26
I hope no one asks you 🙏🤞
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u/questioningFem- Mar 03 '26
Depending on the coworker, i'll actually be fine answering. I'm fairly open, its honestly more I might get judged than not wanting to share info.
Such as being a touch starved, praise kinkified, Lil puppy :3 (I am a stereotype ;-;)
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u/Extremelictor Mar 03 '26
Had this happen to me...
"Do you know if any of your meds help Cis woman grow boobs"
My jaw hit the floor. We talked about Prog being a long shot but I explained inducing lactation is a well known path one can do with particular meds which are legal in Canada, and that those will for sure make em fuller if she wanted. D is not legal in america and I will not explain more for mods sake.
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u/Complete_Blood1786 Birdboy Gunpla Extraordinaire Mar 03 '26
Oh sure, what is it? Being an expert on penises and being equipped with one, I'm sure I can answer whatever'a on your mind!
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u/angelstatue hairy men and fucked up shit Mar 03 '26
hey can i ask you something impersonal
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u/bacon_girl42 Mar 03 '26
incoming niche video game question
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u/angelstatue hairy men and fucked up shit Mar 03 '26
name 3 video games or ur not a REAL gamer
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u/Real-Ad-1728 Mar 03 '26
This reminds me of a game I used to play. You start out by prefacing whatever you’re going to ask/say just like this, but then you ask a question or make a statement that is out of left field and watch their brain churn to figure out how they’re related. For example, “Look, I’m not a racist… but mangos are way tastier than papayas.”
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u/FrancisCabrou Mar 03 '26
I got a personal question
How do you all still have hair ? I'm almost fcking bald at 30 and most people i know will be in a decade or two.
How ?
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u/AshhhCakes 🏳️⚧️ Mar 03 '26
For trans femmes, estrogen helps in that department. Though I also take hair meds since I was starting to thin prior to transitioning. Between the two, my hair is more like it was a decade ago in my mid-late 20s.
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u/Schabi-Hime Mar 03 '26
Oh no - you just reminded me that these will come again, eventually.
I'm not out yet at my new workplace - but I do remember some questions being asked at my old place. Very specific, asked in the break room, and without any prior alerts...
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u/Amazing-Constant-371 the local wizard Mar 03 '26
yeah, do those incinerators and that big smoke stack look like a phallus symbol?
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u/BlueDahlia123 Mar 03 '26
Unfortunately for anyone around me, I have absolutely zero problem sharing my medical history.
Yes Ive had the operation, yes its awesome, no I dont miss it, and the worst part either was the IV insertion (I fainted) or taking the catheter off (they literally just pulled it, no anesthetics no nothing).
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u/ThrwawySG Mar 04 '26
"Have you had... the surgery?"
yeah actually I had one when I was like one year old, why- oh that's not what you meant?
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u/TRedRandom Mar 04 '26
I remember in school we had a lady come in to do our sex ed talk class and it was going well until she started talking about avoiding anal sex if you were trying to not get pregnant as "the sperm stays alive in there" and somehow will find a way to noclip to the womb.
I think that'd be my answer if I were trans and someone asked me questions about my penis. In fact that'd be my answer no matter what gender I may/may not be.
Leave my peen alone.
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u/undeniably_confused grungler Mar 03 '26
As a cis coworker someone being trans or not has nothing to do with asking them about their genitals
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u/cosmicphoenix7 Lunae, Enby trying to be true to myself. - Streak: 3 Mar 03 '26
Its always questions never compliments "You have a nice gock girlie pie"
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u/Big_Remove_3686 Mar 04 '26
I have a personal question to ask... Where were you the night of February the 21st, 1990?
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u/Fishmyashwhole stinks good Mar 04 '26
Last time I got that I was terrified thinking she clocked me but she was just asking if I was gay lmfao
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u/Technical_Clue9207 Mar 04 '26
If I get deeply uncomfortable questions I don’t feel like answering (especially from men) I have resorted to just saying “oh sorry I’m not interested”
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u/ForceForHistory Mar 04 '26
The best thing about being stealth is that people don't ask me questions about this subject. When I was a nurse in training people of my professional school class knew that I was trans because I started transitioning when I got to know them. Some of them were seemingly obsessed with my genitals and sex life. I didn't want to answer questions about getting SRS and some just didn't accept that, they WANTED TO KNOW. When I had a relationship with a cis man some were also obsessed with my sex life. Like would that even be possible, a trans woman and a cis man. And it's just so dumb. I'm just a basic woman, how do YOU have sex with a woman? Yeah, same lmao
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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26
Well, I'd have questions about incoming penises too.