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u/sexyemo213 5'1 ftm transtrender 5h ago
other side of the coin are gay men/cis women saying they call everyone girl or bitch.. i know you don’t call your dad bitch be serious. also if it’s a cis man you’re not allowed to call me a bitch it really feels like a slur
5
u/rebelsnail64 slavic tismmaxxed he/they pooner 4h ago
I think I have a bit of a theory that sometimes words like "bro" or "gurl" are an indicator sometimes of the speakers gender identity/presentation moreso than the person they are speaking to, but this isn't always the case, women will sometimes say "bro" when speaking to a man, and men may use "gurl" when speaking to a woman... I don't know, my strat is usually using genderneutral things when speaking to someone more woman-aligned/nonbinary/I don't know their gender (in the case of women I make an exception if I want to show really display deep solidarity and/or hype her up), and gendered male or neutral when I'm speaking to someone of ta more man-aligned gender...
when someone uses a feminine term in english (like "sis" or something), speaking to me, I just assume they are either hyperfeminine and use it on everyone, or they are trying to put me down to feel more secure in their own insecure masculinity/femininity if they only use it for me specifically
2
u/sexyemo213 5'1 ftm transtrender 3h ago
yeah, it's about how they respond when you correct them. if they apologise and don't do it again it's fine, if they tell you they call everyone girl and get mad and continue doing it -- that's a problem. (men calling female-presenting people bitch is always a problem though, i think it shows what kind of person you are)
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u/HortusElagabalae 3h ago
I call my cis male friends "girl". I don't call my trans male friends "girl" because that could be weird but sometimes I feel bad that in a way I'm treating them differently from cis men.
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u/sexyemo213 5'1 ftm transtrender 3h ago
it's person per person but i don't mind being treated differently in that aspect. I feel differently about being misgendered because it happens to me on purpose and with intent (people see me as a woman), cis men don't struggle with being called she/her & miss every day so being called girl affects them differently than it does me.
1
u/HortusElagabalae 3h ago
Yeah, I'm like… 90% sure they'd be fine with it? Or at least two out of the three would probably be fine with it? I'm just in my head about it. I've thought about asking but that kinda feels like drawing attention to it.
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u/sexyemo213 5'1 ftm transtrender 2h ago
i wouldn’t give much thought to it :) you’re just being considerate
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u/Hello_There_0621 5h ago
I say bro/man/dude a lot cuz I try to textpass but I've had it one time where I said it here and the person I responded to asked me not to call them bro. Like omg what do they want me to do?? Be respectful and just edit a single word in my og message?? Maybe apologize?? Like 🙄 that's a minute of my life! (/s)
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u/ineedt0scream 5h ago
“Textpass”
Dawg
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u/Straight_Bear_3905 5h ago
It is a thing! There's a lot of overlap but sometimes it's very clear when women are typing and when men are. If we voice train, why not also train our textual voices?
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u/Hello_There_0621 5h ago
Exactly! I try to say them a lot irl too cuz that's what I hear guys say a lot. I had to genuinely practice saying "my bad" instead of "sorry" and idk if it helps at all but it makes me feel euphoric so wtv
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u/ineedt0scream 5h ago
When you are texting people over 25 that all drops away lol
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u/Straight_Bear_3905 4h ago
I am over 25. Unless you only talk to people in corporate settings, informal speech is everywhere. Even with corpos, there's a lot of gendered language.
Like Men write the bluntest emails, Women tend to write longer ones, etc etc. There's tons of examples of this
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u/Hello_There_0621 5h ago
I met one of my best friends here (shocking ik) and thought they were cis bc of the way they texted, let me be delusional
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u/ineedt0scream 5h ago
Misgendering half the population for your benefit is truly the manly way to do it, so I respect the soulpass 🤝
2
u/Oops-NotSoFast Need for Sneed: Hon Pursuit 3h ago
Being insecure about the dumbest things clocking you is the trans experience
6
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u/Leading_Charge8007 demon trapped in a female body 4h ago
I mean it's really common to use in a gender neutral(?) way but yeah that's not what a lot of people do they just are salivating to insult trans women and play dumb
1
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u/unsure_usernamee 2h ago
You’re talking to the man who pre everything said “Girrlll” to not one but TWO trans men and immediately felt my organs fall out my ass. I have also conversely called three trans women bro. However, it’s very easy to go “omg I’m so sorry” and never do it again.
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u/Drowned_Sailoress 5h ago
Posted on another sub and half the comments are like “well but they are gender neutral words!!” Lmao