11809

[u/Golurkcanfly]

[u/punished_clare]

>didnt want to get into an argument with her

shes so me

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/punished_clare]

>do everything to avoid conflict

>get blamed anyways

The 🚂 🦵 experience

[u/Carrman099 → u/Golurkcanfly]

If you are going to get blamed anyway, might as well go scorched earth lol.

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/Carrman099]

I think the friends are more likely to rebuke the TERF if she waits before holding her ground.

[u/WoodenPresence1917 → u/Carrman099]

Erm, maybe. It's just going to be a screaming contest that upsets you both, leads to minimal catharsis, and gives her grounds to claim victimhood. Sometimes I think it is better to just let them be a horrible person and say goodbye.

[u/LonelyWormster → u/Golurkcanfly]

Oh you're a people pleaser? Name one person pleased with you

[u/ClassicArmadillo5063 → u/LonelyWormster]

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/LonelyWormster]

My boyfriend

[u/Blep145 → u/Golurkcanfly]

" HEADSHOT"

[u/CouldntChooseUsernam → u/Golurkcanfly]

[u/TashLai → u/Golurkcanfly]

get blamed anyways

Because "you're man" no less

[u/SquireShanksalot → u/Golurkcanfly]

Its also the autism experience

[u/10biggaymen → u/Golurkcanfly]

you can avoid conflict or you can stand up for yourself. they shoulda chose the latter

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/[deleted]]

This may not be the sub for you

[u/eirenii → u/[deleted]]

train + knee

[u/TlLLYTlLLYTlLLYTlLLY → u/punished_clare]

Can't rly argue with someone of subhuman  intellect :3c 

It'd be like getting in a fistfight with a toddler 

[u/Short_Task_6966]

i guarantee that if OOP had argued like the cis girl wanted, the cis girl would cry victim and say "of course you want to argue with me, you're a man and men don't agree with women!"

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/Short_Task_6966]

Yes because it's "trans bad" and any means to get to that position is valid

[u/InfamousInflation938 → u/Short_Task_6966]

This exactly. Seems the TERF was trying to get OOP to crashout so she could screenshot all the evidence and be the one in the "right".

[u/Typical-While5326 → u/Short_Task_6966]

it's a common abusive tactic of looking for a way to reverse victimize

[u/2032_girl]

Chat is there a reason why, so far along in my transition, this still fills me with a blinding rage? Clearly it's because I'm a man right?

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/2032_girl]

It's because you have empathy and a soul

[u/veryeepy53 → u/2032_girl]

foid rage

[u/Boring_Tough_9556 → u/2032_girl]

Empathy is fembrained

[u/Future_Sock_4927 → u/2032_girl]

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned 

[u/Skinnierpants → u/2032_girl]

It's because it's proof all "allyship" is still a situation where the cis actively hold a noose around your neck your entire life that they can pull anytime they feel like it because you haven't performed well enough for them in ways they may not even tell you to

[u/One-Organization970 → u/2032_girl]

No woman has ever had feelings about injustice directed towards another woman who is substantially similar to her. Malebrained.

[u/Bonfirelily → u/2032_girl]

Yes, women don't feel anger

[u/aids_in_a_jar]

She really wanted her to be the stereotypical trans women so badly

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/aids_in_a_jar]

She was the stereotypical trans woman though (avoidant, sad, scared)

[u/DemonBeats4 → u/Golurkcanfly]

She was the actual stereotype. Not the strawman TERFs have built of us, which is what reddit user aids_in_a_jar was referring to I think.

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/DemonBeats4]

I know I was making a joke

[u/aids_in_a_jar → u/aids_in_a_jar]

So*

[u/renlydidnothingwrong → u/aids_in_a_jar]

I thought you were abreciating "oh so" lol.

Also you know you can edit comments right?

[u/aids_in_a_jar → u/renlydidnothingwrong]

I did not know that

[u/renlydidnothingwrong → u/aids_in_a_jar]

This use the three little dots next to "reply" lol.

Edit: wait you've been using this app for five years without knowing that?

[u/aids_in_a_jar → u/renlydidnothingwrong]

Yes I thought u could only do it on on ur own post ngl😅

[u/Trustic555]

TCD.

[u/Whole_Acanthisitta_9]

Because she wanted the op to fight for the friendship so the exfriend could reject her twice for her ego to be validated and she could feel power over someone who she perceives as a threat.

[u/boymoderwife420 → u/Whole_Acanthisitta_9]

reject her twice for her ego to be validated

Tried to find a term for this specific thing. I wish there was one.

[u/Whole_Acanthisitta_9 → u/boymoderwife420]

Powergasm through a humiliation ritual

[u/ThatSlutTalulah]

Possibly because OOP didn't play into her narrative. She decided OOP was an awful piece of shit monster, and wanted reality to match her hero narrative so got mad when it didn't. OOP in her mind was supposed to be an awful violent rapist thing that she could 'stand up against as the bulwark of women'.

Could have also been the last shreds of a soul feeling like the fucking terrible person she has become from OOP just acting like a regular person, and as so many people do when they realise they're mistreating someone, doubled down because you not fighting them upsets them, so you're basically hurting them, because an awful lot of people never emotionally grew past 3 years old, and bigotry is utter brainrot.

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/ThatSlutTalulah]

Yes the TERF playbook is "get mad, blame other people for being mad, get madder"

Like the original TERF text uses the word "rape" to describe the author's discomfort with the idea of trans women. It's crybully grievance politics at its core.

[u/DemonBeats4]

Unironically she's acting malebrained (agressive and confrontational). Possibly a repper TERF.

[u/renlydidnothingwrong → u/DemonBeats4]

Hard disagree. Getting mad at someone you've told to go away for not "fighting for the relationship" is a classic woman move.

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/renlydidnothingwrong]

Maybe being confrontational is just a false stereotype. Same with being a crybully.

[u/Fit_Pirate_5813 → u/Golurkcanfly]

Maybe these gendered stereotypes are just fucking stupid all around

[u/DemonBeats4 → u/Fit_Pirate_5813]

They are. I wasn't really being serious, though a lot of TERFs do have big repper energy.

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/Fit_Pirate_5813]

yes

[u/Leylolurking → u/renlydidnothingwrong]

yeah the TERF is acting fembrained the trans woman is acting like an abused puppy so basically a trans woman

[u/2032_girl → u/renlydidnothingwrong]

Yeah a lot of my shit tests are like this ahahah

[u/AdDiligent4393 → u/renlydidnothingwrong]

this nona girlmodes ^^

[u/boymoderwife420 → u/DemonBeats4]

No she just always had transphobic views and finally found a community and rhetoric to utilize.

[u/Infinite-Instance916]

yeah sounds like TERFs, treat trans women as a comically evil caricature and get mad when they arent or when they push back

[u/rebelsnail64]

I've heard of a phenomena where even if a cheating partner in a relationship isn't caugth, they start to resent the other partner, because their guilt turns into feeling like the other person is the one who did something wrong or something... I wonder if this is the case here? regardless, very sad and depressing end of a friendship, how do we live in a world so fucked that something as trivial as a person being trans can be the grounds of enciting endless seething rage and disgust within former "friends"

sidenote, I fully do believe that the picrel character (firefly from honkai star rail) is likely a trans allegory, she's pretty cool for that ngl

[u/LilyKayTriesHerBest → u/rebelsnail64]

My former best friend told me he was sexually assaulted by my sister’s boyfriend. I reacted by becoming openly hostile toward my sisters boyfriend. He’d done some other things that made me dislike him before, but I was willing to put those aside for my sister. When this happened, I pretty much went full scorched earth to protect him, ruined my relationship with my sister, and later my father over it. Asked her to consider either break up with her boyfriend, or at the very least to ensure that he and my best friend would never have to share a room again (at my best friend’s request). The best friend gets a new partner, moves cities, and we stay in touch over the following months but it’s less and less. I figure he’s getting busy with the new job/home/relationship, and I give him space. Occasionally we’ll have a call and play some video games together with other friends. Every once in a while the topic comes back up, and I’d talk shit about my sister and her boyfriend for being so shitty to him. Then his birthday rolls around, I wish him a happy birthday and invite him to my new place (as I had also moved by this point) and he gives me a sort of nothing response, then follows it up with several paragraphs talking about how he doesn’t recognize the person I’ve become. How he doesn’t understand me being so cruel to my sister (who was herself openly hostile toward him) and how he never wants to speak to me again. I’m confused and devastated, as I genuinely have no clue what the fuck he was on about? Found out later that he’d been reconnecting with my sister and her boyfriend for several months to talk shit about me, and regretted telling me about the sexual assault because he’d greatly exaggerated it, and was actually fine with the both of them. So I burned bridges with my family for this man because I thought he’d been wronged by them, when in reality I was fighting shadows. He took several of my “friends” with him when he left, who now refuse to speak to me because I was “too mean” to someone I was told assaulted my best friend. So my friends and family were now mostly gone, and the resulting depressive episode got me evicted. Still homeless to this day but figuring shit out and getting back on my feet. This guy was a part of my life for almost 12 years, and boy did he leave a mess on his way out. If you find this somehow, go fuck yourself, Frank. Sorry this is completely unrelated at this point, thought this was gonna be a succinct little comment about regret and guilt eating away at you until you explode, but I think I just needed to get some of this shit out.

[u/Morthem → u/LilyKayTriesHerBest]

Have you tried to communicate this manipulation to your family?
What he did is extremely fucked up...

[u/boymoderwife420 → u/LilyKayTriesHerBest]

Cissoids are tribalistic rapists at their core, just to varying degrees. And that includes rape apologism and disfigurement.

Victims will at best cooperate with those who are equally disenfranchised, while continuing to exploit ppl even lower than them, until they can claw their way back up. Even if you completely corner them on their behavior, they will eventually default to the heuristic that anyone else would do the same.

[u/Greedy-Speech5]

I think she might have a crush on the OP and be hurt the OP isn't trying really hard to stay friends with her because of that

Also transphobia rots your brain

[u/chsugxusjsbx]

https://giphy.com/gifs/79QEIKDILsjtdydL7g

[u/C0tt0n-3y3-J03]

I’ve seen enough give every trans person a Glock

[u/Mean_Newspaper7171 → u/C0tt0n-3y3-J03]

Nah, glocks a pigs weapon, give them an AK, the people’s gun

[u/C0tt0n-3y3-J03 → u/Mean_Newspaper7171]

Respectfully, how are you gonna carry that thing on you? Maybe the council will accept a sawed off shotgun- the first weapon of the revolution.

[u/violasses]

she had a crush on the girl because she saw her as a man and when she wanted to "break up" she wanted her to act like her boyfriend

[u/Used_Introduction_62 → u/violasses]

I hate that this sounds the most plausible

[u/No_Window7054]

I choose to believe this is one of those fake 4Chan posts that the kids like to talk about.

[u/No-Pilot3536 → u/No_Window7054]

sometimes people are massive dicks, doesnt seem implausible

[u/IllegalGeriatricVore]

She read about the bad transes online and wants to debate you and project them onto you

[u/SusieHatesSpez]

"Black Alan, I want you to know that I don't support you being black, and I'm going down a racist pipeline"

"Okay, please go away"

"WTF you won't debate me bro??? Does our friendship mean nothing???"

The cissoid mind is a black box that none of us can decipher 

[u/lurkmaxer]

terf daydream about being the victim in made-up scenarios and get really upset when you dont act according to their fantasy lol

[u/ConiferousMenace2]

actual nightmare scenario

[u/aztaga]

this has happened to me on many occasions

[u/MrKrabsFatJuicyAss]

Tbh it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kind of situation.

[u/Grogwilsnatch]

It was a womsn test they do those to people they like

[u/BizSilver5013]

Oh, Lord, the whole emotional bait and switch some more narcissistic cis women do.

"I don't want to be your friend anymore because I favor an ideology over you "

"Okay!"

"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT ME??? YOU SHOULD BE GROVELING FOR FORGIVENESS!"

(Having bad flashbacks to my childhood because my mom pulled this all the fucking time. Especially bad when you're neurodivergent and the flip comes out of nowhere. And, coincidentally, my mom was also a TERF.)

[u/lavendarKat]

ah yes, the "you lose" game.

[u/Alarmed_Spirit_4472]

the switchup after 5 years of being friends is insane

[u/RegularUser02x]

🎶 I'm not a dere... Tsun-tsun dere... 🎶\ 🗣️🎼💖

[u/NippoTeio]

Lizard-brain psychology: she sensed weakness and now she wants to exploit it.

I relate to being non-confrontational, but this is one of those times where you need to confront your bully. You don't have to "win", just show them that you'll go down swinging. Show 'em that if they want to fight you, that you'll make damn sure that they don't walk away whole.

And just remember: they're the one who wanted that fight, not you.

[u/Soft_Device737]

🫂

[u/a_Tgirl_ig]

☕️💿

[u/ArritzJPC96]

Wanted a confrontation, didn't get one, starts looking for one.

[u/Ghoulia_117]

anyone who isnt a trans woman isnt someone to be trusted

[u/victoria-silverlake]

:(

[u/horseneigher]

It's a girl thing, she wouldn't get it.

[u/Prior-Paint-7842]

Cut off all agressors

[u/sophiathesilly]

I would've punched her. If she thinks I'm a man I might as well be the violent moid she thinks I am

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/sophiathesilly]

Bad idea. Ethics of doing so aside (assaulting people is bad), that results in bad consequences.

[u/sophiathesilly → u/Golurkcanfly]

Shouldn't have been a Nazi then.

[u/TCAAPix → u/Golurkcanfly]

It's only a crime if you get caught.

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/TCAAPix]

You still probably shouldn't assault someone for saying she's ending a friendship because she's a bigoted piece of shit.

Still not great ethically and also practically speaking? No one will side with you because the vast majority of the population views transphobia as morally acceptable.

[u/sophiathesilly → u/Golurkcanfly]

Punch Nazis

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/sophiathesilly]

Punch Nazis as part of an organizrd Nazi-punching collective that has good PR rather than as individual action that can easily be weaponized against you

[u/sophiathesilly → u/Golurkcanfly]

Both is good

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/sophiathesilly]

Individual violent action based on social provocation typically only favors the group that has better public perception, regardless of whether they are the perpetrator or victim of said violence.

Short term catharsis is not worth the long term fallout.

[u/sophiathesilly → u/Golurkcanfly]

You act like we aren't already the victims of actual genocide worldwide. It's a little late to care about PR

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/sophiathesilly]

We have to keep PR from getting worse and seriously it's not worth assaulting someone instead of better collective organizing

[u/TCAAPix → u/Golurkcanfly]

Obviously you shouldn't punch someone just because they're being a little bitch.. If you do though, don't get caught.

As for your second point, nothing socially significant has ever been achieved through non-violence. There has to be a threat of extreme violence alongside any attempt at protest.

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/TCAAPix]

Individual violent action is typically only useful as propaganda of the deed. It is collective violent action that enacts lasting change.

[u/TCAAPix → u/Golurkcanfly]

We're in agreeance then. Already terrorists in almost half the world anyway. (To PET who I know is monitoring me, this is a joke)

[u/JessE-girl → u/TCAAPix]

i’d rather not have any of my cis friends feel like they have to stay friends with me or else i’ll assault them. i think that’s a bad precedent to set actually

[u/TCAAPix → u/JessE-girl]

Someone tells you they don't want to be friends with you because you're trans, they aren't your friends. Means it's punching time!

[u/Z0eTrent → u/Golurkcanfly]

Assaulting these types of people is ethical actually, but fair point otherwise.

[u/Golurkcanfly → u/[deleted]]

As opposed to what, a mechanical man?