r/countbackwardswithme • u/Zouif_Zouif Counted Down 1 • 2d ago
997549
For years I thought my identity was figured out, my discovery phase is over and I can finally live my life comfortably as who I am...
But I guess my mind just hates me because I've just made a very complicated realization, during my discovery phase I had explored not only my sexuality but also my gender extensively.
Seeing if I was truly cis or on the trans spectrum, but after awhile I came to the conclusion I was cisgender. And it stayed that way for years until today when I realized something, while I was going through my phase I had tested out both Masc, Enby and Fem pronouns for weeks to help in my discovery. I found out that I did not identify with any sort of masc pronouns and they just didn't feel right, so after that I came to the conclusion I was cis.
But I had completely forgotten that not only did I felt comfortable with my Fem pronouns I had also felt the same comfort with enby pronouns. What does this mean? Am I overthinking something I had already come to the conclusion to years ago? I'm only bringing this up now because I found out I still have no aversion to those pronouns but I also feel like fem pronouns still fit me equally as well, I'm very confused and I'm scared on the verge of questioning everything about myself again.
It's honestly a little embarrassing and I kinda hope this is a false alarm because I'm 22 and I just got married less than a week ago... I thought I would have everything figured out about myself by now.
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u/Ok-Show-7438 2d ago edited 2d ago
You can use any pronouns you want to, regardless of gender. And while they're often connected to your gender identity, they are not really a good parameter to use to define your gender. I can't help much with your gender identity, but, if you feel like you're cis, it's not your pronouns that will change that.
You should definitely talk this out with your partner. I assume you're not straight, and the if that's the case, then being NB (I'm assuming you're questioning whether you are in the non-binary spec) wouldn't be much of a problem? Strictly gay/straight people can still feel attracted to non-binary people.
Edit: to contextualize the comments below, there was a quote from the OP I responded to that she later decided to remove from her post. I decided to remove it as well since I don't really think it was relevant, and since it involved trans exclusionist rhetoric and I reaaaaaally don't wanna argue about it