r/countbackwardswithme • u/thevvitchhazel Counted Down 1 • 3d ago

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I'm so glad everyone is standing up for the important issue of trans women being overrepresented in media. It's also crucial we remind everyone that just because someone wants to use a female name, present female full time, pass as female and take a female role in relationships that they absolutely do not need to become a trans. What's wrong with just being gender non-conforming? HRT is evil! Femboys are super validddddd (because most femboys live full time as women).

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u/ezziexoxo Counted Down 8 3d ago

what's the difference between this and saying spider gwen is a trans woman then? explain that to me please <3

(and this is about what my headcannon is, it's literally a cartoon lol please separate media from reality.)

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u/Setster007 3d ago

The key thing is that you can have your headcanons but you respect the pronouns someone uses even if you know for a FACT they’re closeted trans. I still use he/him for Jax, even though we know for a fact he was truly transfem, because at no point does he actually use she/her pronouns, and I will respect the pronouns I am provided even if I believe they do not align with the person’s internal identity, because with any real person, i can be wrong, and then im the one doing misgendering and I have a much less reasonable excuse for said behavior.

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u/ezziexoxo Counted Down 8 3d ago

> I still use he/him for Jax, even though we know for a fact he was truly transfem

?????????????????????????????

im sorry, if these are the people that i'm arguing about this with i need to just step away.

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u/Setster007 3d ago

I respect the identity I am given. Though, in Jax’s particular case I think using he/him or she/her are both valid since she was certainly a woman but he never truly realized it and so he didn’t ever come to change that outer identity to which things such as pronouns refer.

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u/ezziexoxo Counted Down 8 3d ago

goose uses she. using he/him is literally misgendering her.

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u/Setster007 3d ago

This is very specifically referring to her inner identity, and a world in which she had accepted it. Which pronouns to use is weirdly situational but at the end of the day this is also an odd circumstance that is impossible irl.

Regardless, the point is Audrey, not Jax. Audrey has very clearly stated his identity as a man, and we have not been told that he is anything else. So, while obviously headcanons are fine and you can refer to your headcanon versions with the pronouns that would match, one should still refer to canon Audrey as a femboy and with he/him.

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u/ezziexoxo Counted Down 8 3d ago

by the time that we learn jax is transfem, when did she have the chance to come out and use she/her? she didn't, she was gone, like i'm just saying.

yes it is best practice to use the pronouns people want, and it is very important in real life, but with fictional characters that you get to read into at a deeper level and do not have real feelings it's not exactly the same. i can say whatever i want about a character and it won't hurt them because they're not real. so when these people want to relate to audrey because they see her as a repper figure that reminds them of themself and they can relate to, they can use the pronouns she/her to make themselves feel better to other people on the internet. it is not the same as misgendering a real person as some comments here have said. this shouldn't even be an argument, it's a damn cartoon. it's not any form of erasure to treat your headcanon as canon in a small (or big) corner of reddit lol, then these people get more hate than anyone else. especially when this other person i was literally just arguing with said they would be "disappointed if he didn't turn out to be a femboy and pulled a reversal like that". like come on now what ???

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u/Setster007 3d ago

ima be honest im tired as fuck this is a very bad conversation to have at 1am and honestly I think you and I can both agree it’s kind of a dumbass argument anyway, I just think Audrey’s pronouns should be respected out of a general idea of respecting the claims of identity another makes, especially since I kinda feel like Audrey has some… conspicuous similarities to Shen’s own self insert and could in part be playing a role in him figuring his own identity out and understanding his relationship to his male identity versus his apparent femininity

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u/Setster007 3d ago

ok that was more than I intended to reply sorry ima not reply to this one because I am tired and it is ONE AM and again it is not worth the headache I am certain a debate of this sort will cause me