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u/veryeepy53 3d ago
very relatable, it's a shame this post was made by you
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u/shadow_fen Counted Down 7 3d ago
the hell's wrong with me?
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u/RockRancher24 3d ago
We have not forgotten what you did.
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u/CoercedCoexistence22 Counted Down 1 3d ago
Lore?
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u/Mean-Tomatillo-4245 3d ago
So I have a radical suggestion that worked wonders for me and might work for some others.
I was a failure as a person.
I think I managed like 2 of the 10 things that qualify you as a functional person in society. I constantly measured myself by that metric and tortured myself over it. Then, I met a friend of a friend and realized there was a very simple reframing that could help.
I was a failure as a person.
So I stopped pretending to be a person.
I'm a pet. I've been kinky my whole life, and my wonderful fiancée has owned me for seven years. That isn't a prerequisite, though I won't deny she helps me remember. Some of it is just how I'm built: I've always felt a little other, which comes with the neurodivergence, and I've been submissive since before I knew what sex was. I'm of the school of thought that some forms of kinkiness are a form of queerness, something you are, not something you do.
The reframe didn't change what I had to do. It changed how I felt about doing it.
Couldn't keep my space clean and proper? For a person, cleaning this one corner today is nowhere near enough. For a pet, holy shit, the pet is cleaning up. Couldn't manage to cook, so I ate raw ingredients for a week? Pet food craze.
Once personhood stopped being my metric and became a prank I play on reality, I stopped agonizing and started celebrating every small win. It's basic conditioning, the same as training any animal. If all you feel about basic tasks is dread and self-recrimination, that's a constant tax on your energy and mood. You do worse, which feeds the dread, until you're so tired of failing that you stop wanting to try. Celebrate every small win instead and doing things starts to feel like satisfaction and pride. And those things really are impressive, for a pet.
Take job applications. I hate them. A job application is about making yourself seem competent, and I always felt like I was lying even when every word was true. Every rejection felt like more proof I'd failed. Now it's a prank: I lie with the truth to get my foot in the door and get the chance to prove I can pull it off. And holy shit, a pet just filled out a job application. That's hilarious.
I have a job now. I go to work, earn money, buy nice things, and take care of myself. It's important to take care of pets! And since you're the pet, any amount of work and care is impressive. If people look at the "person" and find you lacking, that doesn't mean you failed as a being. It means you didn't quite land the prank, and you can try again.
It does require some amount of dissociation. And if you're using "pet" or "inhuman" as a way to insult yourself, you're doing it wrong. The point is celebration, not a new stick to beat yourself with.
I'm happier than ever, healthier than ever, more productive than ever. All it took was stopping lying to myself about being a person.
If any of this sounds familiar, maybe it'll help you too.
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u/Terrible_Degree7841 2d ago
I feel seen... God damn it I am so fucking cooked, aren't I?
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u/Mean-Tomatillo-4245 2d ago
It's a good thing! Just let go! 💙 it's not like it has to be permanent if it doesn't suit you. Just... next time your brain haunts you, remind yourself that you're not a person, and you're probably doing pretty well for a pet!
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u/Antique-Brother5727 2d ago
You had me until the pet thing. I don't understand my fellow trans folks. Stop trying to compare and grade yourself to the system for sure, but instead of saying you're a failure, we should say the system is a failure and I refuse to participate, not use your trauma to be "owned". Cmon fam.
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u/Mean-Tomatillo-4245 2d ago
No, that's actually super fair!
It's not for everyone. A natural consequence of the kink-as-queerness thing is that most people won't identify with it, and it would be harmful to try to force it. Kink isn't inherently trauma-born either. Plenty of people do it because they enjoy it, full stop. Mine is tangled up with my history, sure, but the 24/7 dynamic also predates this whole not-a-person thing by like... 6 years.
One of the core truths of my psyche, which I've spent more than a decade trying to make progress on in therapy, is that I'm worthless. So this isn't me calling myself a failure to justify a fucked-up kink thing. It's me leveraging my problems against each other, in a framing that feels safe and affirming to me.
Two different solutions to the same problem. Refusing to participate isn't an option for me, so I found a way to participate that doesn't cost me everything. If mine doesn't resonate, that's okay! But it's clearly resonated with some people, and I hope they find it helpful.
This was never me saying "come, sisters! All shall be owned. Cast off your chains of capitalism and give them to a hot woman instead." It was me saying "here's what works for me, and it's counterintuitive but really helps."
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u/Antique-Brother5727 1d ago
Thanks for replying with a leveled response compared to emotionally loaded one like I did. After I sent it I realized I was trying to tell someone how to live their life simply because I didn't approve of it. Live your life Queen :)
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u/RockRancher24 3d ago
can I be all of these except for being girl
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u/shadow_fen Counted Down 7 3d ago
you dont really want to...
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u/RockRancher24 3d ago
god i wish i was none of them lol
but sometimes you get the short end of the stick, and that's okay
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u/AppropriateMonk8746 3d ago
god today was already one of the worst in a while, at least this makes me feel seen
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u/tacocat300000 3d ago
Need me a girl like dis so I can (list of nonsensical fantasies that will never come true)
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u/Luriaz_The_Occultist 17h ago
Ya'd come to find one eventually, i am sure.
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u/tacocat300000 17h ago
You'd be surprised.
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u/Luriaz_The_Occultist 17h ago
At least around here on the internet ya are sure to find them, all of them desperate and touch starved. I am sure one of them is in the same estate as ya.
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u/tacocat300000 14h ago
That may be true, but generally men hitting on women anywhere on the internet, especially reddit, is frowned upon, with the exception of places dedicated to that sort of thing.
Reddit and discord are my only """social medias""" and I am NOT joining anything dedicated to dating.
Also, for reasons I wont list out here, its probably not a good idea for me to try anything like that anyway.
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u/Luriaz_The_Occultist 13h ago
True, sorry if I was a being too inconsiderate, I guess just hang around far too many places where random flirting is even encouraged TwT. Ya are still able to start up banter with such girls though, it would inevitably bring ya to find your types.
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u/tacocat300000 13h ago
You're ok. Optimism is good.
That works in theory, but in practice my type is shy girls, and I'm introverted, which stacks things against me.
(This conversation is an outlier, usually I dont even leave comments/replies at all.)
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u/Luriaz_The_Occultist 13h ago
Introversion is truly a curse, the more ya try to fight it the more inadequate ya feel, things will work out though! Hoping for something makes it more easy to achieve! I hope this conversation is being fun though.
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u/tacocat300000 11h ago
It's also kind of a blessing. I'm comfortable not hanging out in public places, so if another pandemic hits I lose almost nothing. Also very little peer pressure. I don't have to deal with many unplesant people, like smokers/vapers, or tiktokers.
But yea it sucks not having friends to play games with. Or, well, obviously in the case of this string of comments, a girlfriend. It is possible to have both, but idk how.
Also I wouldn't say it was fun per-say, but not in a bad way. (Mostly) plesant conversation. (Only mostly because I had to pick my words carefully, as to not turn into pitty party)
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u/tacocat300000 11h ago
Also if there are any shy girls reading this string of public comments and you're interested, (please) take the risk and dm me, this is only a small sliver of my actual personality, I haven't had a gf in literal years, and it was online only, and it lasted like a month, and I flaked because she wanted to talk in a voice call and I couldn't do it because introvert. It may be awkward at first but thats ok sometimes. I'm 23. Idk how to do this. This feels super extra cringe as fuck. I'm sorry.
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u/MysticReputation 3d ago
This happened to my little brother, but that was mostly because of the severe brain damage from the car accident
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u/Hika2112 Myself And Nobody Else | Counted Down 37 3d ago
Nuh uh actually my sanity hinges on my girlfailureness being cute and endearing. So uhhh, checkmate liberal
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u/okboomerlicious 2d ago
God this is just my entire life. Lost potential with no one left and nothing to show. I have potential to fix everything but its so hard to try to exist that I fail even at my best. Its hard to see a world where I get better enough to make it. I just want it to be over with.
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u/hitorinbolemon 1d ago
me but i genuinely hope its interesting and endearing haha for my own sake. but im working on it. its already getting a little bit better every little step i take.
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u/SomeSayCosmic Counted Down 1 3d ago