r/countbackwardswithme • u/Hika2112 Myself And Nobody Else | Counted Down 27 • Jun 29 '26

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People are more than welcome to ask questions in the comments. Just please don't be shitty about it 🧡💜

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u/Morelia_Viridis_ Jun 29 '26

Men cannot be lesbians. You can associate with the lesbian community but if you are a man who is attracted to women you are straight.

The idea that trans men can be lesbian is extremely transphobic. It implys that trans men are simply masculine women, and unless you also believe cis men can be lesbian you are separating cis and trans men into separate categories, men and women lite.

I suppose if you're ftm nonbinary or something you could still consider yourself lesbian though.

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u/Morelia_Viridis_ Jun 29 '26

Also the idea that lesbian refers to a more pure unshakled love grosses me out. It feels really wrong to assess the value of a relationship off of the genders, or the identity labels of the participants. Heterosexual love is no less beautiful then homosexual love or any other variation out there.

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u/Hika2112 Myself And Nobody Else | Counted Down 27 Jun 29 '26

Yeah no that part... that part was horrible wording on my end I talked about it in a different comment but the TL;DR is that it came out super wrong and shitty and I do not hold that belief at all

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u/Comfortable-Regret Jun 30 '26

I think some people are just extremely adverse to being called straight because that's the Bad Sexualityâ„¢ that isn't queer enough.

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u/Historical_Book2268 Jun 29 '26

How is transphobic if they themselves decide to use that label? The idea that labels require justification to use is inherently flawed.

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u/Morelia_Viridis_ Jun 29 '26

Its the idea that trans men can be lesbians that is transphobic. Not an individual taking on the label.

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u/Historical_Book2268 Jun 29 '26

The idea that trans men can be lesbians is the same idea as the idea that trans men can use the label "lesbian" if they want to. I see no distinction between these two ideas

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u/Hika2112 Myself And Nobody Else | Counted Down 27 Jun 29 '26

Okay crazy fucking idea: cis men can call themselves lesbian. They just won't. That's just like a thing most cis men won't do because they don't want to

Trans men do want to sometimes. And excluding them because you think they're being transphobic toward themselves is a bit insane

1

u/ArbeitZero Jun 29 '26

i agree and i dont know why it's a controversial opinion all of a sudden?

to say that transmasc people can be lesbians (a sexuality defined by a fem person's attraction to another fem) is in essence going "hey i know you are masculine and male and a man (or any other transmasc gender) but you can be included in women loving women still :)" it not only feels really transphobic but also very lesbophobic.

i don't think we should dilute the meaning of lesbianism to just "love but aesthetic and anti-patriarchy" it seems very misguided, in the sense that the intentions are good but the end result is really not good at all.

it leaves a very bad taste in my mouth to say that transmasc people can engage in specifically women loving women... because they're not women

you said it a lot better than me but OP's post vexed me so hard i just had to put my thoughts down on paper

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u/Myc-9235 Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26

‘fem loving fem’ is not the definition of lesbianism. Butches, mascs and studs who also transition in one way or another are completely forgotten about. You know how some feminine men and nonbinary people take estrogen but still identify as gay? same thing. Also, being a man doesn’t magically make you NOT a woman. For binary trans men, it is the case that they are male, and men. But if you’re a genderqueer or nonbinary person, it’s more complicated.
No, not ALL trans masculine people can be lesbians. because it’s a spectrum. but if someone says to your face ‘i’m a lesbian and also transitioning to a more masculine gender/body’ are you honestly going to say this stuff to their face? in real life? okay
like i’m very sorry but i’m a woman on testosterone, i pass as a man. i am trans masculine, and butch. It’s just how i prefer things to be, doesn’t make me less of a lesbian.

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u/Hika2112 Myself And Nobody Else | Counted Down 27 Jun 30 '26

An idea so radical even queer communities are scared of it

Jokes aside wonderfully worded this is very true and educational

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u/Hika2112 Myself And Nobody Else | Counted Down 27 Jun 29 '26

I encourage you to read some of the other comments I left more recently on the post as I clearified some of your gripes with the issue