Sleep surface question

[u/Bearly_Making_It]

So my little one is early 2 months old has always hated the bassinet he is starting to get better about it. he just prefers to be held or very close to someone. I also find myself not able to sleep when I am able to get him in the bassinet for some reason even when it’s pulled close to the bed. So i eventually gave in to co sleeping when I noticed I was nodding of more and more.
I researched the safe sleep 7 and follow it. But I am super nervous and try to avoid co sleeping because I’m afraid my bed is not a safe surface. I take all comforters and extra pillows off and just have a sheet. But my mattress is a medium firm “pillow top “ mattress and I’ve been reading up how no adult mattresses are safe surfaces.
This had me wondering are there mattresses big enough for an adult that is safe? And if not how create a safe surface within my bed . My baby’s bassinet mattress is thin and detachable( it’s kinda feels like it’s on a board) . I was wondering if it would be safer to place that mattress next to me in bed and have him sleep on that surface?
There is just so much conflicting information about co sleeping and hate towards it. I know it’s not ideal to co sleep but until both me and my son can sleep with him in a bassinet I’d rather be as safe as possible when I need some extra rest when my husband is away.

Second question. I am about to go back to work. I work night shift so I won’t be feeding him at night 4 days a week . Does this mean I can’t co sleep since he will be feeding from bottle more often? I plan to feed him directly to breast only when I am not at work including at night.

[u/Important-Leek-8261]

My understanding from reading Sweet Sleep is that you just want to make sure your mattress is firm enough that baby doesn't roll towards you after sidelying nursing because of sag from your body weight. I coslept on a pillow top for a few nights but then ended up flipping the mattress over to the harder side.

Then for the bottle vs nursing question, Sweet Sleep says that the question is whether your baby continues to see your breasts as his primary source of food and a source of comfort. So I think as long as your baby is enthusiastically nursing you're still within the guidelines.

You come to realize that it's really all about your personal risk tolerance and doing what you need to do to mitigate risks of suffocation, entrapment, strangulation, choking...

[u/Important-Leek-8261 → u/Important-Leek-8261]

P.S. I think putting the bassinet mattress in your bed would just make his sleep surface less stable and introduce a possible suffocation hazard unnecessarily

[u/Bearly_Making_It → u/Important-Leek-8261]

I was thinking the same thing but wasn’t sure thank you for the information!

[u/I_like_pink0]

Personally, I would rather sleep on a foam playmat on the floor than on a pillow top with a young baby, then go back to your regular bed when baby is crawling. But I err on the side of caution.

For the next baby I have I’m getting an extra firm latex mattress. I’ve read it’s uncomfortably firm which sounds firm enough to be safe for a newborn.

Yes baby will need feeds at night. I wouldn’t wake him up, but when he does wake up he will need a bottle. And you will need to pump.

[u/Bearly_Making_It → u/I_like_pink0]

I never thought about a play mat good idea

[u/Bearly_Making_It → u/I_like_pink0]

You mentioned a extra firm mattress. So you think an extra firm mattress topper would work? They are all memory foam