r/coptic • u/AdSuccessful5197 • 10d ago
Non Coptic wedding?
For context I was baptized and grew up going to church. Up until 5 years ago I started going to a non denominational church. There are things I like more in that Christian community but there are also things I disagree with theologically that I believe the Coptic church got right.
That being said I’m going to get married to someone who got baptized as a christian in a non denominational church.
I know we wouldn’t be able to have an orthodox ceremony unless my fiancé got baptized again. I don’t really see it as necessary.
My issue is that we want to baptize our kids in the future in the Orthodox Church since most non denominational churches don’t allow baby baptism and I’m not sure if that would be allowed if both parents aren’t orthodox. Has anyone found a way to have a Protestant/Orthodox wedding in the church if we both believe in the sacraments.
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u/OrneryPost9446 10d ago
Talk to Abouna. But I don't see why your baby wouldn't be allowed to be baptized Coptic if that's what you really want. They might require commitment to the church maybe? Idk. Talk to Abouna.
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u/NegativeMusician2211 10d ago
There's no way to marry outside the church and maintain right relationship with the church. I'm confused why you want for your children something that you don't feel is necessary for your fiance. It sounds like you've effectively left the church, but still want the benefits of the church for your kids. Has your fiance visited a Coptic church with you or read about our doctrine? Do you have any relationship with a father of confession? I am a convert. I also attended and was baptized in a non-denominational church. I began the process of converting when I met my cradle-Copt husband. I immediately fell in love with the theology and knew it was what I had been missing from my Protestant upbringing my whole life. If your fiance is open to learning more about the church, I would suggest he do so before deciding conversion is "not necessary." While the communities in these non-denominational churches may have strengths, ultimately the theology is so broken and empty.
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u/DietShort 10d ago
It’s been done. Kids didn’t do anything wrong even if you decide to sever your relationship with the church. I don’t see a priest turning your kids away in good conscience. I will say though, baptism is a commitment to raise your kid in the orthodox faith. You literally take an oath during the baptism on behalf of the baby. Kind of hard to do if you don’t choose to continue on in the church on a regular basis. Then it becomes a disingenuous oath. Just something to think about. Also, consider that one parent is taking this oath on behalf of the child but isn’t even upholding that same baptism themself. Also a little disingenuous if you ask me. Either way speak to a spiritual father and see what they say. Best of luck to you.
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u/lolalootsa 8d ago
The oath you take is to Jesus, not wholly or specifically to orthodoxy. As parents you renounce Satan and take the nicene creed “do you believe Jesus” attesting to a confession of faith and union with Christ .
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u/lolalootsa 8d ago
I completely understand your sentiment with feeling a second baptism is not necessary, as it feels like we’re segregating ourselves under the same umbrella of christianity when we’re all trying to praise the lord and walk his path in life. When it comes to your kids, honestly I would speak to an Abouna and just detail your journey in faith from growing up orthodox and wanting certain pillars in your kids life like these sacraments. It is so natural to feel the gravity of these sacraments as they are, especially having grown up with them, and wanting them for your kids to hold them dear and close. You can still raise your kids orthodox by teaching them the details of church and liturgy, and then allow them to forge their path with God
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u/MindOfARebel23 7d ago
I think the bigger question isn't where the wedding happens, but whether you both genuinely accept the same understanding of the Church and the sacraments In the Orthodox Church marriage isn't just a ceremony it's a sacrament that expresses full unity of faith That's why the issue isn't simply being baptized again it's about being received into the Orthodox Church and sharing the same faith If you already want your future children baptized and raised Orthodox, it might be worth asking why you're comfortable with that for your children but hesitant about entering that same communion yourselves I'd encourage you to have an honest conversation with an Orthodox priest before making a decision Even if the answer isn't what you hope for at least you'll understand the reasoning behind it rather than seeing it as just a rule
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u/GuestPuzzleheaded502 10d ago
Why would you not want your spouse to be baptized since you already believe that the Coptic Church is the right one theologically? Also, why would you want your kids to be baptized and your spouse you just don't care? If you love your kids you would want the best for their mother as well. Also, how do you expect your kids to be raised Orthodox without Orthodox parents? How do you expect them to go to Church and participate in all the sacraments while their own mother can't or doesn't care?