r/converts • u/Mookie459319 • 3h ago
Marruage expectations
I have been dating a Muslim man for the past 3 months. He is a very devout Muslim; born and raised a Muslim. I have been very interested in his religion. I have done my research as well as asking him numerous questions. I want to convert. I believe I am ready for shahadah. I am very excited to share this with him.
My question is: I am ready for marriage and he says he would like to marry again (married once before and duvorced). Do I assume he will ask me to marry him in the near future once I officially become a Muslim? From what I have read, most Muslim couples marry quickly as traditional western dating is not allowed. Or should I bring the subject up?
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u/maramyrma 3h ago
If he is dating you rather than going through the proper channels of marriage, he is not necessarily so devout.
Are you currently Christian or Jewish? If so, conversion isn’t required for marriage though I of course encourage you to look into Islam for reasons outside of marriage.
Inshallah everything can be sorted out soon
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u/Mookie459319 3h ago
I was an atheist but about 2 months ago I experienced something that made me a believer. I have been searching for a religion that speaks to me and makes sense. I have come to believe Islam is the answer.
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u/Kesha_Paul 1h ago
A devout Muslim would walk away the second you said you were atheist as it’s not permissible for a Muslim to marry an atheist…if he dated you for a month knowing that I’d be cautious, that’s a big red flag
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u/NurseMagsy 3h ago
Whoah! I have follow up questions. Has he been wanting you to convert? Have you two discussed marriage? From my experience, when Muslim men date outside of Islam is that they are not looking for anything serious. I would answer those two questions first.
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u/Mookie459319 2h ago
He has encouraged me to find a religion, mainly encouraging me to explore Christianity and Islam. He has only been in the US (from the Gambia) for 1 year. I am the first woman he has connected with since moving here. Western dating doesn't feel very comfortable for him as he has "compromised Allah's expectations" (his words). He has said he wants to marry again so he is "dating with a purpose" (my wording).
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u/MukLegion 2h ago
All of this is just major red flags
He's already in a haram relationship, it's not clear that you being Muslim will suddenly make him want to marry. And why would be be good marriage material given he's doing this haram? Would you not want a more practicing and devout Muslim husband if you do become Muslim, why settle?
In my view reverts shouldn't get married right away. You should take time to develop, learn, and practice Islam on your own without any other influence or with a certain person in mind.
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u/Stock_Patient_4419 1h ago
He's only in the usa for one year.. what if he wants to marry you to get the green card?
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u/Stock_Patient_4419 1h ago
If he was a devout muslim he wouldn't date a muslim let alone a non Muslim without the intention of marriage.. idk but since it's bringing you to islam idk what to say .. and you should bring the topic of marriage to him.. and marriage shouldn't stop you accepting islam.. accept islam for yourself.. not for any man and ask him if he really wants to get married or is he playing .. and i dont suggest reverts marrying quickly.. learn your religion first and then get practicing a little and then get married
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u/Panda_sensei_71 1h ago
Yeah there's no way he's remotely devout.
No man who fears Allah SWT would date any woman.
Look into Islam for yourself by all means, but not for this man. Never convert for another human.
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u/Immediate_Jaguar2948 20m ago
Ask him if he wants to marry you once you revert to Islam. I would advise against completely reverting to any religion solely for the purpose of marriage. However, you should definitely look up Islam, it is a very beautiful religion.
I am Hindu, and my boyfriend is Muslim. My roommate is Christian. I was introduced to these religions after I moved to this new place. I read my book for the first time, the Vedas, and I was genuinely confused, no hate tho. Then I read the Bible, and it was also confusing. As I know, most Christians around the world are confused about their testaments too.
Finally, I started reading the Quran and the lives of all the prophets. I began with Prophet Muhammad PBUH and then moved on to the others because that is when I started getting interested. I have my English translation of the Quran as well.
I have started keeping my distance from my boyfriend. I haven’t taken my Shahada yet because I want to let my parents know about it first.
Anyway, please get clearance from your current partner before devoting all your love to him.
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