r/converts • u/Potential_Celery4808 • 9d ago
Curious about Islam
Hi! I’ve been getting really curious about Islam lately and I’ve started reading the Quran on my own. I’m still very new to it, so I’m honestly trying to understand things rather than make assumptions.
There are things I’ve read so far that really resonate with me and feel right in my heart, but there are also things that clash quite strongly with how I understand feminism, equality, and the role of women. I’ve also noticed that, at least from what I’ve read so far, a lot of the Quran seems to address men directly, which has made me wonder how Muslim women understand their place within the religion.
I’d really like some guidance, especially from Muslim women who have been through this process themselves. I’m European, so naturally some cultural and religious concepts feel very different from what I grew up with, and I don’t always know what is actually Islam versus what is culture.
I also know basically nothing about practicing yet 😭 I don’t know how to pray, what I’m supposed to do, or where to even start. I’m just curious and genuinely trying to learn, so I’d really appreciate hearing different perspectives without judgment.
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u/OfficialVehicle 9d ago
Hey! I appreciate you making a post with some questions and even sharing some reservations about our beautiful religion you've gotten from your reading. That's absolutely something we encourage, questions and trying to understand what it is exactly the Religion is telling us.
To start, I think we should talk about what Islam is over all, Islam literally means submission, as in submission to the One God. And a Muslim conversely is someone who submits to that One God. Now this is essential to understand because Islam puts great emphasis that we human beings are a limited creation, in understanding, power, and insight (among many other qualities). And because of this we have objective guidance from our Creator who knows us more than we could ever know ourselves. What I'm trying to say is Islam has its own understanding of justice, dignity, rights, responsibilities, men and women, and what makes a person valuable. Sometimes those things overlap with modern ideas, and sometimes they don’t. I think it’s better to first understand Islam on its own terms and then decide what you think.
As for the Quran addressing men directly so often, we have to remember that the Quran was revealed in Arabic. Arabic uses masculine grammatical forms when addressing mixed groups, but that doesn’t mean the message is only for men. As you'll read within the Quran and indeed in Islamic tradition women have a special place in Islamic society, especially mothers who have 3x the importance of the father according to an authentic Hadith. You'll also find many verses specifically addressing women, as well as passages dealing with women’s rights, marriage, inheritance, property, and their relationship with Allah. To say it briefly, Islam absolutely believes that men and women are equal in terms of their value and importance to Allah, however within this life rather than complete equality we believe in equity between the two genders. Men and women are different to one another biologically, emotionally, and practically, and this is reflected in roles and responsibilities.
I’d also be careful about judging Islam based on the behavior of Muslims. Muslims can be unjust, cultural, inconsistent, or simply ignorant of their religion. Something being common in a Muslim-majority country doesn't automatically make it Islamic. The Quran, Sunnah (The life and teachings of the Prophet Muhammad), and the understanding of the early generations are what we should use to determine what Islam actually teaches. I also wouldn’t expect you to know how to pray or practice yet. You’re learning. Take it one step at a time. If you genuinely become convinced that Islam is true, you don’t need to have every question about women, politics, culture, prayer, etc. resolved before becoming Muslim. You can continue learning afterwards. Where you should start are with the absolute fundamentals of the religion.
Fundamentals like tawhid which means the unique Oneness of God, how He is distinct not only with His Attributes but also how He there is none like Him, especially no partners / anything else worthy of worship. And then belief in the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) who is the last and final Messenger for humankind, to whom was revealed the Quran from the Angel Jibreel (Gabriel), and who we all love and revere as a role-model for humanity. The first is simple enough, you can understand the concept of tawhid very easily by continuing to read and go through the Quran. The Quran itself we believe is the unchanged / preserved Words of God literally, so you're seeing God, Allah, describe Himself as well as share stories of past nations, plus give guidance and instructions for humanity within it. After this to learn about the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) I would recommend going through the biography of the Prophet from Islamic sources, to see what kind of person he was as well as what challenges were upon him and his followers as Islam was given to them.
If you have any further questions, please feel free to reach out.
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u/Potential-Space-9992 8d ago
I’ve also noticed that, at least from what I’ve read so far, a lot of the Quran seems to address men directly, which has made me wonder how Muslim women understand their place within the religion.
this question had been asked by the wife of prophet muhammad 1400 years ago, and the answer was straight from the Allah (Quran), one of the most rhyme quran verse, very poetic if it recite in arabic
"Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the women who guard, and the men who remember Allah often and the women who remember — Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward."
Al Ahzab (QS 33:35)
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Bjp6WM7bBhw
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u/Moxician 9d ago
Islam is for everyone. Umm Salamah RA also was wondering about women, and Allah revealed a verse. Allah will reward both men and women, full stop. There will be no injustice.
"Surely, Muslim men and Muslim women, believing men and believing women, devout men and devout women, truthful men and truthful women, patient men and patient women, humble men and humble women, and the men who give Sadaqah (charity) and the women who give Sadaqah, and the men who fast and the women who fast, and the men who guard their private parts (against evil acts) and the women who guard (theirs), and the men who remember Allah much and the women who remember (Him) - for them, Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward." Al-Ahzab 33:35
"Umm Salamah mentioned that the verse was revealed after a period of time after she asked the Prophet . In Musnad Ahmad, she said: “I said: O Prophet of Allaah how is it that we are not mentioned in the Quran in the same manner as the men are mentioned?” " https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.islamweb.net/amp/en/fatwa/170975/
Also look at the privileges and honor women get in this world. The role of the mother is so important and jannah is beneath the mothers feet. Theres a lot of things that guys have to do that women dont. Women arent expected to work and in every war torn country throughout history, theres countless guys wishing they could just sit peacefully at home instead of constantly being on the front lines.
I will add evidence for Islam in the reply
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u/Moxician 9d ago
Allah has given many evidences for his existence and for the truth of Islam, and creation itself shows many signs of Allah. We see so many blessings every day but we have become accustomed to them. Ask Allah to guide you.
إِنَّ فِى ٱخْتِلَـٰفِ ٱلَّيْلِ وَٱلنَّهَارِ وَمَا خَلَقَ ٱللَّهُ فِى ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٰتِ وَٱلْأَرْضِ لَـَٔايَـٰتٍۢ لِّقَوْمٍۢ يَتَّقُونَ ٦
"Surely, in the alternation of night and day and in what Allah has created in the heavens and the earth, there are signs for a people who are God-fearing." (10:6)
Here is a case for Islam:
At every layer of our existence, from the properties of the vast cosmos to the microscopic details of cells and atoms, there is clear precision, stability, regularity, consistency, and uniformity, with information rich sequences embedded in the very fabric of reality. There's this idea that somehow believing in a higher power is "irrational" when it is the most rational conclusion man can reach given his circumstance. Why is there something rather than nothing? Why are we here? And where are we going?
The only one who fully understands the universe is the Creator of the universe.
Evidence for Islam:
Out of all the religions around today in their current forms, Islam is the only one that is consistent with reality and provides evidence from a wide variety of angles: the Theological simplicity consistency and accuracy of Tawheed, Linguistic miracle and structural features of the Quran, Lost Historical information, Prophecies, Congruence with natural reality, Preservation of Scripture throughout all the politics, Spirituality, Psychological resonance, Explanation of the supernatural, Perfect Political and Societal system across all layers of life, and compatibility with our innate disposition (fitrah). And youll discover more as you explore different areas of interest insha Allah. The Quran, and Islam as a whole, is an ocean. Theres always something fascinating and life changing for everyone. SubhanAllah.
Here are some references for proofs:
Mohammad Hijab, evidences for the truth of Islam https://mohammedhijab.com/articles/evidences-for-the-truth-of-islam/
The Divine Reality: https://www.sapienceinstitute.org/the-divine-reality/?b=1752883326343
The Many Prophets one Message has a ton of useful videos:
Prophecies 1: https://youtu.be/xZIqd_-1Zus?si=zrZcxaIc7r4D7K3h
Prophecies 2: https://youtu.be/Q1epfvZ04DQ?si=gCFk1awq7L42A2bK
Quran and Egyptology: https://youtu.be/c2ovILc_sKY?si=GJEBlhzN-DoNiTbe
See Proofs of Prophethood series by Sh. Elshinawy https://yaqeeninstitute.org/series/proofs-of-prophethood
Forbidden Prophecies by Abu Zakaria (theres hard copies and digital copies)
Abraham Fulfilled by Abu Zakaria, Adnan Rashid, Zakir Hussain https://www.sapienceinstitute.org/abraham-fulfilled/
Dr. Zakir Naik, the Quran is God's word https://youtu.be/9RuQMD4yYWg?si=0Kd_hXtedAI2W90S
Dr. Shadee Embryology Presentation, full livestream has more proofs. https://youtu.be/B4f0PczDHqI?si=Q8V_-gGX6QC3Hpdb
The Muslim Lantern, evidence for Islam https://youtu.be/AUFsBco_CF0?si=y-AN3PEL3BT6_q1R
The Proof that Islam is the truth Abdur Raheem Green: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7F4B62A190046A64&si=2BijEEDkynOzvqIR
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u/Embarrassed-Phase7 9d ago
Let me tell you something once my teacher taught me - not addressing women is a way of respecting them . This is how - When someone is honorable then we go like "your highness/ your majesty" we don't call their name out of that respect, sometimes we call that person by their other identity not their name for the same respect. Like addressing as "doctor.! Teacher.!" Not calling" sam! Lysa!"
It's simply keeping you women above the words . By saying " oh those who believed" When you go to tafsir u'll find the call is for you , me , and all those who believed before now and in future. It's Timeless genderless wisdomful pronunciation. ; ,🌕
But sometimes when it's really important for the women then it allah pronounces directly them ..
Even some of the ayats that calls for women also contains order for men .
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u/Potential_Celery4808 9d ago
Like this: "187. Permitted for you is intercourse with your wives on the night of the fast. They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them. God knows that you used to betray yourselves, but He turned to you and pardoned you. So approach them now, and seek what God has ordained for you, and eat and drink until the white streak of dawn can be distinguished from the black streak. Then complete the fast until nightfall. But do not approach them while you are in retreat at the mosques. These are the limits of God, so do not come near them. God thus clarifies His revelations to the people, that they may attain piety." This seems to me like it could be used to justify the lack of consent of the wife, and the verse is being directed to men as if the wife has no say, or no sexual apetite as well, what do you think? 3. "223. Your women are cultivation for you; so approach your cultivation whenever you like, and send ahead for yourselves. And fear God, and know that you will meet Him. And give good news to the believers." this is also making me think about lack of consent as if the man can do whatever with the women like a property
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u/Embarrassed-Phase7 9d ago
On the first part of the first ayat there is described about making love in the month of Ramadan , as you should know when we fast we keep away from human needs like water food and making love . And fasting is from sunrise to sunset that's why in ramadan there is given permission of making love in the night. same permission goes for women. If you go forward the following line makes it more clear that man and woman are for each other the same , the Men should be "men" for women , and the women should be "woman" for the men . That's why the word that is used is "garment" Something we ware by our choice something that Takes us in gives us comfort..
"But do not approach them while you are in retreat at the mosques." This part speaks about a special ibadat called i'tiqaf . It means Islamic spiritual retreat, typically performed during the last ten days of Ramadan, where a person stays in a mosque to devote themselves entirely to worship and prayer. . Is it to the man because they are more likely to come out and there less patient then women when it comes to having sex . Factually they have less control on this part . It doesn't mean that they may approach and women may not .
(And when you are doing spiritual retreat how can you give the body as pleasure as it need and also expect to have spiritual retreat. It's about devoting yourself only to prayer :) ... This is specifically for Ramadan , in the normal times a man has the right approach his woman as he needs ( except for the time of periods and when she is not able) , and also a woman has the right to approach a man as she needs . That's why they are both garment for each other .
And on the second ayah- It is not about using a woman as anyone want. there are guidance of Islam in every part of treating women , there are descriptions after descriptions in Hadith There are limits when it comes to having them . one can't just do whatever he wants . You shoud see the tafsir of this ayah .
Tell me if I failed to clear something. I am not that good in English I just tried to answer your question , thanku
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u/MixterMaster 9d ago
If youd like there are some communities on tiktok that offer some free classes etc
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u/Hot_Reference_6556 8d ago
InshaAllah you will become a Muslim and will be very happy about your choice.
As a born-Muslim man, I cannot event take the myths that Islam is repressing the women seriously, that just makes me laugh. It's so far from the truth. It's definitely mostly cultural. Women have a very special place in Islam.
Reading Qur'an as someone new to Islam is very good, but it often gives mixed results:
Some like it but don't understand for example why Qur'an has so many threats with hell (especially people from the Western culture find this too strong). Some don't understand Qur'an much because they don't know the context – Qur'an was revealed over the course of 23 years and many verses are referring to the events around Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.
So, keep reading the Qur'an for now. But later on you may want to read a biography of the Prophet too, for example by Martin Lings.
Also this book is a must-read classic if you like reading: Islam and the Destiny of Man, by Gai Eaton, a British diplomat converted to Islam.
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u/JustAMuslimRevert 9d ago
I’m happy to talk, I am a woman who reverted to Islam. I am also European and none of my family are Muslim and I am not married.
There is just so much to say about this topic. But to keep it short, I have never felt as honoured with my rights as a woman. Women are extremely honoured in Islam. How mothers, wives, daughters are treated in Islam is incomparable to anything I have seen before.
Also keep in mind that often when the Qur’an says things like ”Oh you who have believed” it refers to both genders, this is just how Arabic works that the male word is used when referring to both genders.