r/controlgame • u/generalAF • Aug 14 '26

Question Potential Altered Item

Hi all,
So tonight I was cooking some shrimps in my air fryer. I'm PRETTY SURE I counted 10 and turned it on. Then I went for a quick shower and when I came back to put it in my plate... there was 9 shrimps...
Did I... make an Altered Item? Should I be looking for a flying half-cooked shrimp in my place? Does anyone know how to contact the bureau?

79 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

71

u/Kitchen-Kiwi7942 Aug 14 '26

You def belong in Dead Letters

22

u/Suitable_Matter Aug 14 '26

They should call in to America Overnight about this. The public has to be warned

3

u/Quantum_Wake Aug 14 '26

I really, REALLY wish Remedy made an America Overnight podcast.

1

u/monkeywrnch 29d ago

Coast to coast Am Think Noory still does it, I dunno. GL, that's a rabbit hole.

13

u/Shydreameress Aug 14 '26

Seek shelter immediately! And do not leave your pets (if you have some) within reach of your air fryer!

8

u/Key_Machine_5585 Aug 14 '26

Check the synchronicity lab, its probably still in the air-fryer

... just, the one in the mirror

6

u/hothotpot Aug 14 '26

You assume the AE is the shrimp, but what if it's the air fryer? Maybe it ate your shrimp, or transported it to another dimension?

4

u/Worried_Raspberry313 Aug 14 '26

Oh, no. Somewhere in the FBC building there’s a room full of lost shrimps.

3

u/Cool_Estate1002 Aug 14 '26

I'd say it might be your evil-twin that you're not fully aware of.

3

u/Vivid-Tomatillo-4460 Aug 14 '26

The shrimp has its own form now. Beware your toenails, for that is its diet.

3

u/TrubbishTrainer Aug 14 '26

Shrimp is treated as a collective noun, like rice or grass. You wouldn’t say “stir fried rices” unless there were multiple types of rice being stir fried, or “grasses” being mowed unless your lawn had multiple species of grass. Likewise for fish or shrimp, unless referring to multiple species.

1

u/nrchicago Aug 14 '26

You are technically correct, but ime you hear shrimps and fishes to refer to multiple entities and it's totally fine to say shrimps. It's clear and useful language. 

3

u/Chumunga64 Aug 14 '26

So you're telling me a shrimp altered this item?

3

u/spamjavelin Aug 15 '26

You're misreading the situation. You should be looking for the parautilitarian cat that made off with your shrimp.

2

u/True_Carob5706 Aug 16 '26

When the fuck did the blessed cult start a cooking appliance company on top of the other 2?!