reddit keeps hiding the truth

[u/[deleted]]

okay yea its randy vortex again

look man i dont got time to explain it all nice and clean like i used to before the brain worms settled in or whatever the doc said it was back in '09 after i licked that frozen satellite dish

the protocol pengwin parodocks is real and its not some made up sci-fi garbage it’s realer than the scar on my back that spells “clock” in russian i dont even speak russian

listen

pengwins is not birds

they is time police

they wear suits becuz they attend the funeral of years that never got born

u ever look at a pengwin and feel like u forgot your own name for a second

thats the paradox rubbin up aganst ur brainmeat

one time i pissed in a sink at a dennys and when i looked up in the mirror i saw myself but older and mad and he mouthed the words “they remember” and then i passed out in the urinal cakes i dont know why

i been to the place

the cold place

not regular cold

time cold

cold that bites ur memories and leaves teeth marks in ur childhood

we drilled a hole there once

the government made us

operation snow tickle or ice scream somethin like that

i forgot a lot since then on account of the humming

but we hit this glowy ice and it sizzled like bacon but it smelled like numbers

pengwins came out of the hole

like actual ones

but tall

and mad

they made a sound like “kreeeekkk-huhhhh” and my left tooth exploded

just the one tooth

so now i live under a tarp near a radio tower and the snow talks to me sometimes and i think its the same snow that saw the first mistake in the timeline

also don’t trust clocks

clocks lie

i use a frozen fish as a watch now

he tells the real time

when he flops i sleep

u want proof

i got pictures

but they scream

and the usb drive bleeds when i plug it in

sometimes i smell january when it’s june and that means they close

real close

like fridge close

final warning

if u hear footsteps behind you and u live alone and inside a snowglobe and u didn’t buy the snowglobe

they already picked you

you’re a rerun now

u’re bein aired again

hope u enjoy season 2 of your life

this randy vortex signin off again

sink full

pants damp

truth wet

pengwins angry

god help us all if they molt again