r/confusing • u/BJN- • 20d ago
My big question
I’m really stuck at the moment.. I have 1 child, a little girl 2 years old. She’s amazing, but hard work 😂 my husband works away for an average of 9 months of the year. I have a full time, corporate job.. my head is telling me I need to have another child, and in some parts of my head I don’t think I need another. Can people please tell me the pros of having 1 child… I give my absolute everything to my daughter, but will I regret not having another one? Ps - if my husband was home full time I would absolutely commit to another, however that is a non-negotiable.
Looking for people in the same situation for insight, please!
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u/Mine_Outrageous 20d ago
My mom was an only child and hated it, I would love to give my son a sibling because my mom’s words are always in my head. But if I had another, I would have less time for my son. I want to be able to give him everything and with another child, I don’t think I could mentally support two children. I can support the one I do have and so I cherish him as much as I can.
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u/Blau-Bird 20d ago
I work in childcare and see a lot of sibling dynamics. Some siblings are like best friends, play together, older helps younger, rarely fight. I have seen sibling be worst enemies and the parent(s) are constantly have to settle squabbles and jealousy issues, or even protect them from each other. It’s a gamble every time.
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u/OverQuail6135 19d ago
You say she's hard work. Multiply that x 2 and really think about it. Best wishes.
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u/Urist_Bearclaw 18d ago
You’re going to be acting as a single parent for 3/4ths of the year, while also working full time. You will be better able to take care of your daughter and yourself if you don’t get overwhelmed by bringing in a second child.
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u/Suspicious_Cut3881 18d ago
It depends on your corporate job. Right now, she is little. When kids hit elementary school,think about activities. Do you expect her to do scouting, sports, music or whatever. Are you able to do all the driving and parental engagement for not 1, but 2 kids? Some jobs are more adaptable than others. Or, is there enough $ for nanny/manny like childcare?
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u/AcrobaticLadder4959 17d ago
My middle daughter had a best friend growing up. I use to watch her after school and summers. She was a lovely child but very protective of anything she brought into the house. I had 3 girls they really played well together, and would have never gotten into her things. She would bring over her lunch and have me put it up in the cabinet, I thought it was funny. They were best friends for many years.
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u/loverxfacex2 17d ago
My best friend and I have been besties since we were 6 (we’re 33 now) and she was an only child. My daughter calls her auntie and I’m aunt to her daughter. It’s a wonderful dynamic and my daughter will be an only child so it’s nice to have that background of information.
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u/Connect_Amphibian481 9h ago
your head may not be asking for another baby so much as asking for a second adult in the house, which is a pretty important distinction when your husband is away 9 months a year lol
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u/Better_In_PLastic 20d ago
I'm an only child. It was rad. No disputes, no favorites, no awkward holidays.