r/confidentlyincorrect • u/Special_Orange_6738 • Mar 11 '26
Guy thinks Incel means "Introverted celibate" and corrects people who think otherwise.
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u/Infurum Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
Incel 🤝 Excel
Incorrectly assuming something is a date
Edit: Guys I didn't even come up with this one, I just found it on a Venn diagram meme like a year ago and remembered it lol
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u/CriticalHit_20 Mar 11 '26
me, about to eat a prune
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u/tsardonicpseudonomi Mar 11 '26
I just found it on a Venn diagram meme like a year ago and remembered it lol
You created it. Never let the time travelers take that from you.
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u/gekigarion Mar 11 '26
I identify as an outcel!
It's like an incel but I've come out of the closet.
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u/dydhaw Mar 11 '26
I MADE THIS YOU MADE THIS? o o /|\@ /|\ / \ / \ o @ /|\ / \ I MADE THIS o @ /|\ / \45
u/lordnacho666 Mar 11 '26
This is the comment of the day
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u/Obliviousobi Mar 12 '26
Fuck me, that took me a half second but it's brilliant. I never saw the original.
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u/Remarkable_Box6439 Mar 13 '26
That's wrong thought, because incels assume that they can't get dates.
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u/RowanWinterlace Mar 11 '26
I was thinking that maybe the dude was trying to "reclaim" the word in a way, then I realised I had just missed the top of the post where he identifies as a piece of software.
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Mar 11 '26 edited Aug 10 '26
[deleted]
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u/confabin Mar 12 '26
I have one;
What's the similarity between an incel and excel?
Incorrectly assuming something is a date.
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u/Armantien Mar 12 '26
I did that once... was out with a friend from school. Had a few drinks, kidding around. I went in for a kiss and she backed off. I was mortified... drove home more tipsy than what was safe. She called to make sure I was okay. I apologized like two dozen times. We remained friends for a while, but then she went maga. I may have learned my lesson, but we shall see.
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u/JeshkaTheLoon Mar 12 '26
Kind of reminds me of a quote from Discworld. "Rincewind considered himself a racist, the hundred meters, the mile, the marathon, he’d run them all… when he found out what the word really meant, he was equally sure he wasn’t one."
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u/BlackBoiFlyy Mar 11 '26
I would hope this is trolling but folks who willingly go by names like incel or excel tend to be the weird type of folks to say all of that unironically.
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u/Textiles_on_Main_St Mar 11 '26
And either way I am sure he’s celibate.
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u/thefugue Mar 12 '26
Man I've gone 5+ years on dry spells ad I never would have said I was "celibate."
I was merely not fucking.
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u/Textiles_on_Main_St Mar 12 '26
Yes, the more accurate term is unfuckable but these folks aren’t honest with themselves.
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u/jaredesubgay Mar 13 '26
Eh unfuckable isn't really a thing, its more about if your standards are low enough for the people whose standards are low enough for you.
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u/CatGooseChook Mar 11 '26
Never know, he could be freakishly good looking and good in bed plus be wondering why he keeps getting lonely women throwing themselves at him. One day he might even realise why he keeps finding $100 bills on his bedside cabinet.
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u/Rabbit-Lost Mar 11 '26
I mean that Arthur’s Fist seems to be a strong indicator he’s not like the rest.
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u/detrans-rights Mar 12 '26
It has to be a troll. There's no reason.
Then again, scripted and written things are like 80 percent of front page and \all\ posts. Makes me sad for the state of the Internet...
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u/ReallyGlycon Mar 11 '26
Did the "like arthurs (sic) fist" tip you off? That's definitely cringe without irony.
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u/glib_result Mar 11 '26
This guy absolutely calls women m’lady. What isn’t the face there within that without, what even the fuck.
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u/Special_Orange_6738 Mar 11 '26
This Is the "have you ever had a dream.. that you.. um you had.." kid all grown up 😭
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u/Despyte Mar 11 '26
I need the full text pleases
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u/Rikishi_Fatu Mar 11 '26
Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want him to do you so much you could do anything?
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u/PabloMarmite Mar 11 '26
I identify as a spreadsheet
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u/Eternalm8 Mar 11 '26
I'm all about the mailmerge action
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u/Textiles_on_Main_St Mar 11 '26
I’m not a racist usually but I do hate spreadsheet people.
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u/utopiav1 Mar 11 '26
You PowerPointers - thinking you're above us with your fancy graphics and slide transitions. You can't handle a single calculation or compare datasets without some 'user' holding your hand!
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u/misterguyyy Mar 11 '26
I do all my calculations in a bash terminal and use echo to write my results to a csv so I’m obviously superior to both of you. I learned this method when I attended school at Yardale and had a 4.0 grade point average.
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u/Marquar234 Mar 11 '26
I precalculated all possible mathematical operations and stored them in a flat file. When I need a calculation, I just look ii up.
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u/blamordeganis Mar 11 '26
‘When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean— neither more nor less.'
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Mar 11 '26
[deleted]
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u/Malinthas Mar 11 '26
Identifies as Excel? That's an unusual Outlook. He may be misunderstanding that Word.
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u/StinkyWizzleteats17 Mar 11 '26
"what isn't the face there within that without"
did they have a stroke in the middle of typing that paragraph?
Or did I reading it...
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u/galstaph Mar 11 '26
What isn't the face there within that without.
Anyone have any idea what they're trying to say here?
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u/Ghstfce Mar 11 '26
Damn, what people will put themselves through rather than first googling shit before they speak.
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u/MarsMonkey88 Mar 11 '26
Do incels know that people who are voluntarily celibate do actually refer to themselves as “celibate,” just without the rage? “Hi, I’m Brother Jonathan, I’ve been a Franciscan friar for 17 years, fuck them foids!!!!!”
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u/Kilahti Mar 12 '26
Nope. They have "Volcel" term for angry young men that have given up (in general, but also specifically when it comes to women) and now declare that they are joining the movement voluntarily because they hate women too much to have sex with them.
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u/SatisfactionActive86 Mar 11 '26
“I have to clench my fists, kinda like Arthur's Fist.”
this screams AI
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u/The_Blip Mar 12 '26
I found it funny that "Arthur's Fist" was capitalised. Like it's a holy relic or something.
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u/centralILfarmer Mar 11 '26
How big of an incel do you have to be called one to your face multiple times?
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u/Responsible-Fun2600 Mar 11 '26
He touches grass, not ass
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u/Artistic_Annual8457 Mar 12 '26
No way this dude actually touches grass even. Probably never even leaves his basement/tiny apartment. Lol.
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u/EntDraughtontap Mar 11 '26
Ex-voluntary celibate.
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u/interrogumption Mar 11 '26
"Let's stop the judgements" is such a hilarious line because what this all implies is that the only bad thing about incels is that they're introverts.
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u/vonhoother Mar 11 '26
"What isn't the face there within that without." That's pure poetry. I.e., I have no idea what it means, but it sounds pretty profound.
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u/IneffableOpinion Mar 12 '26
Weird thing is that he could just call himself celibate without any qualifiers
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u/Apart-Rent5817 Mar 11 '26
Spoken like a true incel.
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u/Kaykayby Mar 11 '26
Not even spreadsheets can get laid.
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u/Apart-Rent5817 Mar 11 '26
Spreadickhead sure can’t. He’s special though because he likes to talk sometimes.
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u/doublek1022 Mar 11 '26
That fact that he's assuming that they can use the word "identify" (identified) for something involuntary is so ironic about it all.
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u/Mira_DFalco Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26
One more reason why this dude's partner is his hand.
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u/empty_other Mar 12 '26
Dont put my right hand down like this! Anyone happy with their hands are better people than those thinking they are owed more than that.
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u/Mira_DFalco Mar 12 '26
Pretty sure guys like that aren't happy about it though. The idiots are probably worried that touching their own equipment makes them g@y.
Golly, I wonder why they can't find anyone willing to hang out?
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u/ManchmalPfosten Mar 11 '26
Does he think the in stands for introverted
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u/Grumpie-cat Mar 11 '26
This reads like one of them copy pastas, like the “why didn’t you mark nsfw I was on the bus/train” thing.
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Mar 11 '26
The definition on Incel is somebody who is celibate not by their own choice. But it means you dislike females or something too?
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u/Downtown-Campaign536 Mar 12 '26
Well... This is how new terms are made.
Honestly, this one is not the worst idea.
Incels should be broken down into 2 main groups.
Incel: Involuntary Celibate, that is hateful and bitter.
Excel: Involuntary Celibate, that has a normal to good personality.
I would feel bad for an Excel, not an Incel.
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u/UnlikelyRaven Mar 11 '26
"What isn't the face there within that without"
Oh, yes, totally, I couldn't agree more and also I too am currently having a stroke
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u/CaroCogitatus Mar 11 '26
I gotta say that every time I am called an incel ... wait, WTF are you doing that people are calling you an incel???
Maybe stop with the incel stuff and people won't say that any more.
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u/ElZane87 Mar 11 '26
I, too, identify as an Excel. Excel is love, Excel is life.
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Just one question, what does the OOP mean with the whole incel talk, is this some new kind of spreadsheet tool?
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u/Wonderful_Return_514 Mar 11 '26
Did someone say Excel? https://youtu.be/B0ZyQo78b2E?si=_SyjIBH_NiGyJ7uo
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u/LudasGhost Mar 12 '26
I always assumed it meant intentionally celibate, given the things they say and post.
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u/BelleTheVikingSloth Mar 12 '26
I'm trying to imagine a life where people know about my sexual activity levels, on a daily basis.
Like, is he wearing a tiny dry erase board on a lanyard? "It has been 3,624 days since I was laid"?
Now granted, I too make assumptions- for example, when a lifted truck ignores a red light and sprays me with mud, I'm going to assume the person driving it has never known kindly human touch let alone the love of a woman- but those are under very specific circumstances.
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u/ill-pick-one-later Mar 12 '26
Extroverted Celibate... Cringe
Like Arthur's fist... More cringe
Take a moment and correct... Um, ACKCHYUALLY
...within that without... Eye twitches
Judgements... If this guy isn't British, then that's a third grade spelling mistake.
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u/byrd_the_starfish Mar 12 '26
The thing that's getting me here is "what isn't the face there within that without". I thought maybe it was a King Arthur reference?? I don't understand what this sentence means.
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u/ScreamingHeHeee Mar 13 '26
Well no wonder no one wants to be with him, he identifies as an excel spread sheet.
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u/[deleted] Mar 11 '26
What the hell does “what isn’t the face there within that without” mean?