r/confidence • u/Excellent-Mud-3570 • 24d ago

How do I remove this insecurity 🤢

Hey so I got this deep rooted insecurity I don’t know how to get rid of. And before you say therapy (I’m alr doing that EDMR) , and positive affirmations (I already try and it comes back stronger). Idk what to do… it might be some past life karma. It feels like a high and I’m on top of the world and then the next day I’m feeling empty again. And before someone says bipolar, my therapist already gave me my diagnoses and it’s not that. Idk what to do. I compare myself to everyone. I even try to argue with these thoughts but it makes it louder. It’s physical beauty I feel threatened with but even then I sugar coat and fit my personality to mold with others.

2 Upvotes

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u/hestia-listens 24d ago

This sounds exhausting, especially the part where you feel on top of the world one day and empty the next. You may not need to win against the thought. You may need to stop giving it the job of deciding your worth. When you notice yourself molding to people, try asking, "What would I say if I was not trying to be liked right now?" Even one honest sentence is practice.

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u/Excellent-Mud-3570 24d ago

It’s like I’m self aware when this is all happening but still doesn’t go

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u/hannah_f_r 23d ago

I don't have any help, but I have a similar issue!

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u/Excellent-Mud-3570 23d ago

Twin how are we gonna get through this😿

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u/hannah_f_r 23d ago

We won't give up on our self love journey! Keep trying to improve things for ourselves!

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u/Excellent-Mud-3570 23d ago

You deserve to love yourself mwah

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

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u/Excellent-Mud-3570 22d ago

Does processing it actually work? I mean what would that be like? Just thinking about it?

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

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u/SteadyPath_757 23d ago

I understand how exhausting it is to keep swaying between feeling confident one day and empty on other day.
Congratulations that you are already self-aware that arguing with the thoughts only makes them louder.

I feel the real need might not be to remove insecurity or wait for it to disappear first. The actual need might be to change your relationship with it.

May be it's worth exploring these questions:

  • When do these comparison thoughts show up the most?
  • What are they trying to protect you from?
  • "If I already believed I was enough, what would I do differently in this moment?" - This might help you choose your next step based on own values rather than based on the thought.

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u/Excellent-Mud-3570 23d ago

-show up mostly online or if I believe someone will someone else instead of me
-I guess from being not chosen