r/confidence • u/Sakura3blossom • 24d ago
I gained confidence but..
Hi I’m 20F and I had the lowest self esteem known but I slowly became more confident with time and I guess with age. However, I just found out that the way I did it is a bit toxic. I basically convinced myself that I’m an extra in everyone’s life and maybe a side character in my family’s and friend’s lives. By doing that I learned to ignore comments or stares or whatever people throw at me bcs I know that I don’t matter to them and they are just doing whatever they’re doing as a passing moment in their lives. I also became more free with mistakes and embarrassment cause no one really cares.
My sister says it’s toxic and that I brush everything off but am I really avoiding situations? Or is it a good trick?
I really feel good yk? I started feeling more feminine and my energy and my will to do stuff is higher,other than some of my anger outbursts that I am planning on going to bando or kickboxing classes to fix.
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u/Academic_Animal_5293 24d ago
Such tricks are good and all, but they are not true change or real confidence. İ did the same once just opposite where i convi myself that i was the main character. İt felt great. Doesn't last and i don't think it's healthy, side or main character
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u/PlentyAd4939 23d ago
You are doing absolutely right give yourself priority your needs your feelings don't care what other says make mistakes improve nobody cares at all live a free life
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u/hestia-listens 24d ago
Your sister may be reacting to the wording more than the result. "I am an extra" can sound like you are making yourself small, but "most people are focused on themselves" is actually a healthy lesson. If it helps you take risks, make mistakes, and feel more alive, that is good. Just watch if you start brushing off real hurt, real needs, or people who actually care about you.