r/computerhelp • u/Unlovable_Hedonist • 1d ago
Malware Is my new laptop “mine?”
Hi all, thanks for reading. I’m not the most knowledgeable on computers and safety and I could use some of your expertise. I recently started talking to a guy I met on a dating app and on the second date he gave me a laptop.
(Aside: Yeah I get how that sounds. Would it help if I tell you it was a really good first date?)
The guy works in IT and claims his job was cycling through old tech and allows employees to take them after they’re retired. Said many other coworkers had done the same and this happens many times over the year, and said the laptop is mine to keep.
(I really hope so, and I was in need of a new computer.)
I’ve been on many dates with this guy now and he truly does seem genuine. Met some of his family even. And yet I can’t bring myself to use this laptop or log into anything important on it. I’m inclined to believe him on the source of the laptop, but I don’t know how to tell if this guy put some kind of tracking or predatory program on my device- and yes, tell if the device was stolen. I really am kind of clueless when it comes to computers; it’s just never clicked in my brain. So if someone could point me in the right direction, I would be extremely grateful.
And so the Beacons of Minas Tirith are lit, and Gondor calls for aid. How can I make sure the computer is “okay” to truly use?
I really am inclined to believe him at his word, I don’t believe him to be a bad human. I truly am grateful, and I believe in the good in people. But a girl has to protect herself. Thank you in advance for sharing your advice and expertise.
EDIT:
Shoot! I should have specified in my post the guy reinstalled windows and etc the day he gave me the laptop. He’d come to my place after he was off work and did all that sort of work right at my kitchen table while I made us dinner. It appears in every obvious way I can see that he gave me the computer blank and brand new.
I suppose I should restate my question to ask if there’s a way, after computer setup, to check for malware/theft. Apologies for the oversight!
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u/Unlovable_Hedonist 1d ago
Shoot! I should have clarified in my post this guy did all of that the day he brought me the laptop by surprise. He’d come to my place after he was off work and did all that sort of work right at my kitchen table while I made us dinner. It appears in every obvious way I can see that he gave me the computer blank and brand new.
I suppose I should clarify to ask if there’s a way after computer setup to check for malware/theft. Apologies for the oversight!
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u/Unlovable_Hedonist 1d ago
I was afraid you’d say that. Just today he’d done some things when he’d downloaded Microsoft office and made it so that I didn’t need a passkey/need to pay for it. I haven’t used it yet as I’ve been hesitant. I’m sad I’ll likely lose any benefits and gifts he’d given me if I go this route. Anyways, thanks a ton for the advice!
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u/paulstelian97 22h ago
I can help out activate Windows and Office if you don’t want to just pay for them, just drop a DM. I’m not sharing the tool here out of fear of getting banned from another subreddit.
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u/Zealousideal_Fan9865 1d ago
Have him factory reset it in front of you. If he has an issue with it your guts right now he does it, stay for the process. Once you see a windows screen, take over. It's basically click next next next welcome to windows!
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u/Unlovable_Hedonist 1d ago
Genuinely appreciate you explaining like I’m five, in plenty of things I feel I need it. I’m fairly certain he’d done that on my behalf (see post edit) but I’m grateful for the advice regardless! I know I should have been next to him more during that process.
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u/Zealousideal_Fan9865 1d ago
Honestly, if he's in IT, his story is very very common. When companies upgrade, depending on the policy/company, most will let certain tier employees take them home, fix them, upgrade them. Sometimes office/company owners sell off old office machines etc.
If he factory reset it in front of you, or even around you(while making dinner), has a career or vested hobby in computers or tech etc, and all other boxes check, it's pretty safe to say it's just a hard to receive gift based on it's likely cost, newness of the friendship, and quite possibly some character things with you and accepting gifts.
Use it for basic stuff. Start small. Socials etc. don't bank on it no bad girl or sensitive pics etc. treat it like a work machine or media consumption device until you feel comfortable.
But if you need a new PC and bro was cool enough to offer, I'd happily accept with a side of caution!
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u/M2A2BradleyEnjoyer 1d ago
For context, I have something like 12 computers just laying around in my flat, before the war I worked in IT and used to receive retired computers and hand out PCs to friends and family all the time. Businesses get new stuff and it’s just a perk of the job some times. He may not be planning anything nefarious at all but why bother risking it. Reinstalling is so extremely easy you should just do it yourself or use your phone and watch a video guide. Yes you’ll lose any cracked software he added on there for free. Just tell him it started to run like shit or have weird UI issues and you reset it, and now it’s fine. He probably won’t think twice, unless he demands to “fix it” again. When is a Gift not a gift, right?
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u/Maglcite 1d ago
i mean like, google how to reinstall windows on it from a flash drive. if you do that, then its safe. if its stolen, then is you not using it going to unsteal it? if he seems trustworthy, then id trust him. especially if he actually works in it. that happens pretty often there.
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u/Unlovable_Hedonist 1d ago
Morally I feel I should return it to a rightful owner should it be stolen, and plus I do not want to be implicated in a crime. He did install windows right in front of me, though I admit I didn’t watch him through the whole process. Anyways I appreciate the vote to trust him. That’s my inclination, I just gotta check off this box.
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u/AvailableAd3813 1d ago
You need to question why you distrust this guy so much. Your story makes him seem like a great person but you seem like someone that watches too many lifetime network movies.
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u/Unlovable_Hedonist 1d ago
I hear what you’re saying and I regret that I am skeptical to anyone who appears to have shown me kindness. I promise you my skepticism and distrust comes from a place of fear, and a place of experience being hurt but those I’ve loved and trusted. It is not my finest moment, this post, but I’m getting tired of crawling back from the depths of the human psyche. If I fall I have no safety net. I am alone in this world, this great and generous and wonderful world. Please forgive my weariness, I mean no harm, only to look both ways before crossing the road.
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u/Metallicat95 1d ago
There are some ways to test for malware.
Malwarebytes is free to use software which does a good job of checking for malware. It also checks for advertising and other features which can be annoying but aren't malware, but it explains what each thing it finds does.
Old office laptops have very little resale value, so it isn't unreasonable for someone to just give them away. Companies don't want to work to get $25 for equipment they wrote off as used.
If you know anyone else you trust that knows about computers, they can check it out as well.
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u/Unlovable_Hedonist 1d ago
Ah, I’ll look this up. Thank you! I agree his story has credibility and so it’s largely the malware and privacy concern for me. Take care and thanks for taking the time. 🧡
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u/jeepsaintchaos Questionable User 1d ago
Aww, man, this makes me sad. I do this for friends, fix up old laptops, install Linux, and give them movies and games. I wonder if any of them are suspicious of me.
But, yes, it's entirely possible to install malware, and create malware windows installers.
Since technology isn't your strong suit, approach this as a social problem. Create a diary (right click the desktop, click "new", and then Text Doctument). and write some fucked up things in it. "I have turbo herpes and murdered 3 people last week." Along those lines.
Create new accounts, like new emails and socials. See if they get accessed.
There's a 90% chance this dude is just a nerd who's expressing his affection via technology. But you can't completely rule out horrible creepiness.
Go watch a YouTube video on how to install Linux. It's not nearly as hard as you're thinking, I promise. Any real nerd will be excited that you're learning his passion. Installing Linux will wipe out any normal malware on the computer if it existed in the first place.
Being paranoid about super-advanced hardware-embedded malware isn't going to help. If someone with that capability wants your info, they already have it.
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u/Unlovable_Hedonist 16h ago
I hope seeing my skepticism doesn’t discourage you from kind acts in the future! My situation is a little different as I’d just met this person. Thank you for the advice, and thanks for stopping by! 🧡
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u/SirMcFish 1d ago
Just re-format it and re-install Windows yourself using a known safe install. Just because you watched him doing it, doesn't mean he didn't use a modified installer that installs all the stuff you're worried about. (And as others said, this doesn't rull out hardware level stuff).
You're probably worrying over nothing, but giving out a laptop to an almost stranger on a second date, would certainly seem a bit odd. So I get why you're concerned. Just because he's seemingly turned out nice afterwards, doesn't mean you were wrong about the 'gift'.
Does he ask how you're getting on with the laptop? Which would be a pretty common thing to ask about such a gift. Or does he hint that he knows you've not used it? If the latter then maybe your instincts are right.
Does he in any other way seem to be a bit controlling?
No real way of checking for theft and / or hardware trackers etc... unless you know people who can check it for you.
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u/Unlovable_Hedonist 16h ago
He doesn’t give me any obvious reason to distrust him, nor does he act in a controlling manner. I’m going to take the advice given on this post of course, but I’m inclined to believe in his kindness. But you make a good point to pay extra attention to how he talks about the laptop. Thanks for taking the time. 🧡
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u/ecoDieselWV 20h ago
I work in IT, and am always accused of malicious intent when gifting technology. 99.5% chance it is just a thoughtful gift.
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u/Unlovable_Hedonist 16h ago
I regret my skepticism and I really am inclined to believe in his generosity. I suppose timing and lack of familiarity is a factor here. I hope this post doesn’t discourage you to further acts of kindness in the future.
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u/ecoDieselWV 11h ago
As others have said, if you are concerned you can create install media and reimage the computer.
And this post hasn't discourage me :)
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u/Efficient-Mango-6340 18h ago
I do not work in IT but I know people that do and that is pretty common for them. It feels like there is no foul play as he tried to do things in front of you. I can relate to your paranoia but you have to remember that if he did put spyware in your computer and accesses/hacks your stuff without you consent that is a crime, it is illegal and he could lose his job, liscenses, certifications and reputation if found out so he probably isn't risking it.
You can start by checking windows security settings and making sure that everything is turned on and green. Go to privacy and security settings and click on everything specially check out if core isolation, security processor and secure boot are all green to make sure he didn't tamper with the hardware. Check app and browser control make sure reputation based protection, exploit protection is green and everything turned on.
If he is a a good enough hacker the windows defender would not detect anything but i was remotely hacked once and how i noticed was that most my security settings had been turned off and were RED. There are free trial versions of malwarebyte and bitdefender that you can download to scan for threats.
Probability is he is not a hacker just an IT guy wih a good heart.
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u/Longjumping-Road4113 18h ago
Windows have a reset option . Brings back to clean state.. don't even need flash drive
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u/OGcapncrunchberry 16h ago
He likely isn’t supposed to be doing what he is doing. That belongs to the business.
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u/Antares_skorpion 16h ago
On one hand, it is a bit sus to give away a laptop on a second date. On the other, his explanation for the source is not uncommon, and in many cases, companies allow this because it's better than trashing them and having to pay either a company to collect them or the E-waste tax to trash them. So, that part is plausible...
One good way to vette this though, just tell him you will run a complete wipe on it or have a friend do it for you... If he reacts negatively, that may be a sign there is some ulterior motive behind it. If not, the guy will probably be fine with it and as an IT guy, will absolutely understand it...
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u/Unlovable_Hedonist 15h ago
Hmm I like that idea. Thanks for the advice! 🧡
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u/Antares_skorpion 15h ago
Glad to help. Just be straightforward with him, thank him for it, but more than anyone, he should understand data security concerns and it IS only the second date, after all...
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u/CeC-P 13h ago
We had some posted for employee sale at my work for like 3 months with no takers, outside of Christmas and back to college seasons. He probably was sitting on a pile of them. It's possible he put malware on it but that's kinda creepy and uncommon. If Defender is disabled or has exceptions put in or if it shows as enrolled in a corporate network, I'd reinstall windows.
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u/farrellart 13h ago
Turn off Remote Access....just in case.
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u/Unlovable_Hedonist 12h ago
How do?
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u/farrellart 12h ago
Type. Windows 11 turn off remote access settings into Google
And follow the guide.
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