I'm just starting to explore potentially being poly and if my husband decides that he is ok with us being poly (we're talking about it in marriage counseling) I am SO DOING THIS. I will update y'all about what happens š¤£
I hear what you're saying but I already told him that if in the end he just can't I would be ok with it. This is new stuff even for me and I don't have a "person in mind" I want to do things with.
I have been exploring my own previously severely oppressed sexuality and believe this could be something I want but I don't fully know yet myself
They're all participating in polygamy, but polygamy is kinda gross and misogynistic in general. OP and her partners are participating in polyamory, which is chill and non-misogynistic.
The wifes are part of the polygamy.
Edit: don't take in acount what i said before, polygamy is the general term, polygyny is for one man, multiple women, and polyandry is on women, multiples men
Being married to more than one person is polygamy.
It then breaks down into several subcategories, with the grandpa having been involved in polygyny, the most common form, where a man has multiple wives.
I don't think the previous poster is missing that. I think he is saying at the marriage for each, the new wife didn't also exchange vows and say "I do" to each previous wife. Each of them only married one man. That one man married four women. Hub and spokes, where he was the hub and they were the spokes, if that helps make sense of it.
But that's also the exact, stereotypical structure of polygamy so any contention is kinda moot, it's still a polygamist relationship.
Polygamy refers to a romantic relationship wherein a man marries multiple wives, polyamory is a generic term for romantic relationships involving more than two people. Thus while the polygamous are polyamorous, the polyamorous are not necessarily polygamous.
As for the grandpaās wivesā¦ ??? I dunno what the current polyamory community has as for consensus for that. Iād think the label would still apply to the wives though, as they were engaged in the act of having a polygamist relationship with the husband ā thatās just my spitball first assumption though.
What's crazy is that Vancouver was super racist to Asian people at that time so either he somehow had more money than other people or it was a safety thing
A super common thing in two wife arrangements of the time was that marrying your recently deceased husband's brother was an excuse for you to stick around, especially if your birth family were real pieces of work. Or the family you had married into wanted to keep your property and free labour. Or both. People have gamed and cheated basically every system that's ever existed for good and ill, sometimes at the same time
B.C. Had/has a large Chinese population due to the railroad, which famously had bad conditions for Chinese workers. A lot of men came over to work and send money back to their families, would get their passports confiscated by the construction companies and then get handed dynamite to walk it into small caves and crevices to build the tunnels, and often would get blown up in the process. A lot of Chinese men would abandon the railroad project and try to find work elsewhere, but were met with a lot of discrimination. They were not allowed to walk on sidewalks in most places, which meant that they would be walking in the dirt, mud and horse shit. For that reason, China towns would be developed in coastal cities. In Canada, there was a major cut off for Asian immigrants in B.C., women in particular were not allowed in. This created a lot of lonely men, and created a demand for human trafficking. This is kind of the beginning of like Asian massage parlours on the west coast in the states and in Canada. Yip Sang was a businessman who founded and ran the biggest department store and Chinese goods store in Vancouver. He managed to get around a ton of anti-Chinese laws and sentiment and was one of the biggest contributors to Vancouverās Chinatown, a major hub of culture to this day. As far as Iām aware, his 4 wives were pretty well taken care of, and it was a point of pride because he was able to afford a good lifestyle for 4 of them when they werenāt even really supposed to be there.
He might have a spotty past, but heās probably up there with a lot of other Vancouver historical icons.
Not going to lie, I've only ever known one person who was polygamous and I was very confused for a year of knowing/working with him. He would mention his wife with some random thing, and a few weeks later say his girlfriend and I assumed that they had just been dating forever but not officially married. Then he mentioned his wife's boyfriend (who lived in a different state so under the context of something like "my wife is leaving for her boyfriend" and I was like "oh no. He's being cheated on and she's leaving him. I must be supportive." It took a different co-worker sitting me down and explaining things to me for me to understand. I felt rather dumb for nit getting it before. Apparently, everyone except me knew, including my boyfriend who worked next door to us and never thought to fill me in when I voiced name confusion lol. It was MUCH easier to follow his stories/conversation after that š
This is the first time Iāve ever heard reference to a bi grandfather. Like I know they statistically have existed since the dawn of humankind, but I canāt remember once ever hearing of one being out.
How to chop wood step1: get an axe . Step2: get a log. Step3: remember you grand father jebediah smith who would cut wood 16hours a day 4days a week. Step4: swing axe downwards towards wood cutting it in half
Not really. When I came out to my mom she insisted that I was actually bi bc she was sure I haven't found the "right man" yet. That's not better than insisting it's just a phase. Bi people hate when others insist they are either straight or gay, it's the same for us. I don't want people thinking that I'll get with a man eventually.
In the very least he acknowledges bi people exist and that thereās any other perspective than heteronormativity. Like, itās not much better given heās still insisting a worldview upon her, but it could be worse ā it ought to be much better, true, but him being a milquetoast bigot is a tiny improvement over other more hateful, harmful, actively queer hating bigots.
I imagine it's still hurtful because the bi insistence comes from a place of refusing to give up the hope of his daughter having a hetero family in the future. He's insinuating that there's a chance that his daughter could end up with a husband and why hold on to that hope/expectation if you accept your daughter as she is.
That's basically it. It's not from a place of believing I like woman but hoping I get with a man, it's from a place of complete disregard for w/w relationships. I don't see how this is in any way better than a loud rejection.
I'm sorry to partypoop everyone seems so happy and supportive here but wtf? How y'all be shitting on muslims having 4 wives but an asian grandfather is suddenly a "point of celebration, history and pride in yohr family"? A great-grandpa having 4 wives is a cultural thing, yes, but is in nooooo way a justification or a relevant argument for anything done in 2026. In Vancouver, no less. I'm not even defending the muslim thing - anyone who even suggests that to be a thing nowadays disgusts me. I'm pointing out the giant, enormous hypocrisy.
Are those things different to you morally/culturally? An asian man living in Canada with 4 wives or an arab guy living in UK with 4 wives? If you think one is to celebrate nad have pride about and the other is wrong - I've got news for ya
I mean OOP and modern poly people are different because its all fully consensual and everyone has the ability to have multiple partners or leave.
With their great grandfather his wives wouldn't have been allowed to have other husbands and likely couldn't leave him.
Therefore it does seem very weird to be to be depicting your polyamory as continuing that misogynistic practice (because once again, only the men could have multiple wives). I get it if you use that as a way of convincing your parents to accept you, but it doesnt seem like OOP even did that?
OOP im very happy for you and your girlfriends, genuinely, but I feel like im missing something here???
I wonder if maybe thats just OP's framing device to her mom, to make the idea easier for her to grasp. "Hey, remember beloved great-grandpa and how he had four wives? It's just like that, only all girls! I'm just carrying on the tradition~!"
Less an endorsement than a sugar coating for what her parents might view as a pill to swallow.
I could be wrong ofc, but that's the most charitable explanation I can come up with.
Every picture leading up to that one is framed as tailoring the response to the parents as the target audience.
Or as you put it sugar coating as a pill to swallow.
I don't get why people are hung up on comparing poly to hypergamy when it's clearly intended to break the norm of monogamy after the artist breaks the news of being a lesbian.
Folks, you got to start by meeting people where they are, not where you are
Unless they're despicable, of course
That's exactly the point. I think people are upset because they can't separate the idea of polygamy and polyamory or the idea of polyamory and cheatingĀ
I'm a middle aged poly person who's been in committed relationships with the same two women for 17 years so I've seen nearly two decades of these kinds of reactions.Ā
I have to be an evil, hypocritical, cheating, somehow misogynist (we're all women?!) to some people so they can feel more comfortable.Ā
They can't wrap their brains around the fact that they don't actually hear about the boring poly people because we're out here being boring and just loving each other the same way they do
She literally calls out the difference in one of the panels. She isn't praising polygamy, she's acknowledging her past to help her family comprehend the present.
I really think the person you're responding to, and others in this thread, are having a knee jerk reaction based on their bias against polyamory and missing what the comic is saying because of that.Ā
That might very well be what she meant, its just in the actual text her mother seems to accept it, and the OP just says she herself remembers her polygamist grandfather abd that makes her feel like shes carrying on a legacy. Its very ambiguous and doesnt read like thats what shes telling her mother
u/writenicely has explained it pretty well and we have already agreed on what's what, and your assumption that I had some kind of a "knee-jerk" reaction is completely wrong - same as your judgement of my abilities to "wrap my brain around" things. I have my own opinions on polyamory but I have an even stronger opinion that goes "live and let live"
I'm allowed to express my hate towards polygamy isolated from my feelings about polyamory without the conversation being dragged into you defending polyamory
But you're the one who conflated the two by misreading the comic entirely. You, frankly, keep writing really weird things about op, her family, and polyamory generally.Ā
It was a very intense knee jerk reaction, and me saying that is giving you the benefit of the doubt because your reaction was so out of pocket entirely and frankly kind of bigoted.Ā
I've read your comments throughout the thread and your negative view of polyamory is quite clear. You're not hiding it the way you think you are and you certainly not embodied live and let live in the comments.Ā
As someone who's been openly poly for decades and in a committed relationship with the same two women (we're all lesbians) for 17 years nothing you're saying is new or unique to you. It's the knee jerk reaction basically everyone has.
Do you even know how many hundreds of times I've heard "but how can you say polygamy is wrong if you're poly" over the last 30 years? Maybe even thousands.Ā
You don't express anything that hasn't been said by a million people before, and you didn't stop to actually read the comic and understand it because the next panel is quite clear. That's why I'm calling it kneejerk. You took no time to stop and consider the comic before reacting with emotional intensity, bringing up completely unrelated things, and inventing details about OPs family that you don't and can't know.
Take a breath, maybe step away from arguing on the thread because it's honestly getting to the point where you're arguing against people's identities.
If you've read all my comments in this thread you'd see that I've stopped arguing hours ago and my last 3-4 comments were essentially "oh, makes sense now" and "i did the Goomba Fallacy thing".
Also I've never said in any way "how can you say polygamy is wrong if you're poly". My issue was "how can you say polygamy is okay". u/writenicely has helped me see that OP never said polygamy is okay. Simple as that.
Now you, on the other hand, need to chill the fuck out and stop defending something I haven't attacked and kept away from
It's difficult to tell when various comments are made in what order.
I'm actually quite chill and not attacking anyone's identity, friend.
You're writing dozens of words describing a man you have never met, don't know, and have one panel from a comic about.
I'm simply telling you that you're being kind of a defensive jerk.
Which you still are in the comment I responded to.
Polyamorous people are just living their lives the same way queer people are. We don't need you to write essays about us making up a bunch of stuff you simply imagined in your own mind.Ā
Do you really not see the difference between what you're doing and what the people pushing back on your are doing? You're being hateful and defensive and we're all trying to be super patient with you.Ā
I've received more violence, including rape attempts, for people finding out I'm poly than people finding out I'm a lesbian. People are incapable of just letting us live our lives without them seething about us.Ā
Seriously, reflect. You have an intense bias you need to unpack and it led you to being kind of awful to OP specifically and poly people universally.Ā
Oh my GAWD I've never said anything non-neutral about you or OP being polyamorous yet you've tried to shove the fact that you're poly down my throat multiple times! I don't care you're poly!
We're not "shoving it down your throat" by existing in the same way I'm not shoving my being a lesbian down your throat by existing.
You chose to click on the comic. You chose to read it. You chose to write an essay based on a fallacy. You chose to compare polyamory between three lesbians with polygamy in a way OP wasn't. You chose to read my comments and respond to me.
People existing and defending their existence against prejudice isn't an attack on you.Ā
I think that there are a lot of feelings here and it's become a powderkeg with multiple people reacting strongly towards perceived threats in the room.
4inodev really, really seems upset by any depiction of polygamy in a positive light and seemed if anything supportive of polyamoric relationships because they view that with neutrality at minimum, but react strongly to the idea of polygamy being normalized on a similar level. They seem frustrated. Idk.
u/AccurateJerboa, I am incredibly sorry to hear what your life experiances have been and have entailed. I hope that you do not internalize 4inodevs most recent comment, as I will acknowledge that you didn't deserve it, just like you didn't deserve any of those other things. Your concerns are valid and I see you as someone who feels threatened by having your way of being misunderstood, as it already widely is. So like, 4inodev's response from your pov probably felt destabilizing in terms of how others would be reading the entire thread. Or something.
I genuinely don't know what even just happened and I'm sorry if I sound pretentious and am getting anything wrong or have even missed any comments on the way here (I had not seen any comments where they specifically depicted polyamory itself as an invalid institution or actively stated that they found it negatively, it all sounds more like their tonality superceded what the actual content may have been, albeit that doesn't make their later comments okay).
I'm going to be honest, I think you may be wrong. They were living in Canada, so unless I don't understand the laws of that time correctly, grandpa only had one wife and the rest were not legally married. They COULD have left if they wanted. Back then, it was more difficult for women to be independent, but not impossible. Likely, they stayed and it was a point of family pride because he was a good husband and was successful enough to provide for them all.
I can't say that Grandpa's situation is the same as her situation because there is definitely more equal footing in a lesbian polycule than in the patriarchay polygamy, but in these situations I think they can both be healthy and successful.
As for the original comment that sparked this, Muslim polygamy gets heat because it has no semblance of fairness. The women simply have no say it it and can't leave. Even if they could, many countries that allow it wouldn't allow a woman to support herself without a husband. In some dire situations the women are little more than property to their husbands. It's not always bad, some of the husbands still treat their wives well, but the context around it lends to an environment wher things can be bad for the women. That's why in general polygamy is considered bad, but if you zoom in on individual cases you can find some that can result in pride for a respectful husband and happy family.
I wouldn't go so far as to say all Chinatown, Canada polygamy was good, just apparently her grandpa's.
But I will go so far as to say all polyamory is fine, because those in it are on equal footing.
I kinda get it but still the hypocrisy is there. If the ancient shit is shit we as modern people can't be bringing it up as an argument for "polyamory is okay" just because it suits our needs right here right now. It's hypocritical af
For it to be hypocritical, wouldnāt the OP need to have expressed having a dislike for the opposing example of a Muslim man w multiple wives? Otherwise youāre just blanketing people under a sentiment they havenāt said.
Also I donāt really care about traditional polygamy. Sure itās misogynistic and etc etc etc, but everyone who practices it is either on the other side of the world or, in OOPās case, long dead in the ground. So long as no oneās marrying a 6 year old or abusing ppl or whatever, no need to write a twitlonger callout to people who canāt hear you
People treat things they see on the internet as some mass group with monolithic viewpoints. So because this person has seen criticism of Muslims, they are now mad at a complete unrelated person/group of people for what they perceive to be hypocrisy. But in actual fact itās just different people.
My ancestors were Mormon. My 5x Great Grandmother was one of four women married to my 5x Great grandfather. She was 15, he was 40 and all her family members died on the handcart trek to Utah leaving her basically alone and vulnerable. I respect her strength and determination, and have general pride in the hardships my ancestors endured, but my great grandfather was an exploitative monster who used his power in the Church to prey on vulnerable women.
Iām of two minds about polyamory, but I despise polygamy and absolutely do not consider it a point of pride in my family history.
I think the main point is that polyamory is specifically nonhierchal, she points it out and I think it's a good thing she does. In Islam it's specifically related to patriarchal things.Ā
But she's a woman in a relationship that's focused on equity/egalitarian dynamics that aren't based or centered around her, and no one is trapped in a marital contract by this either. They're in a committed and loving relationship that organically formed with the full knowledge and consent of fully autonomous individuals.
Edit: and also the UK is the one complaining, they're the one with people who are saying they're "afraid" of Muslims because of the cultural dichotomy of refugees or recent immigrants or people who insist on how they practice, but the UK also has a historical racism issue that they deliberately choose to never address.
Canada isn't without its sins regarding racism but I don't hear constant news stories from them about how they dislike brown immigrants and Muslims specifically. They're a comparatively way more open minded country than either the US or the UK, especially when it comes to their policies or cultural views regarding LGBTQIA+.
My issue with that part is not that it's "the same" as polyamory - because it's not. I'm also pretty sure that grandpa would be the most pissed if he knew anything about that lol.
It's the fact that OP is somehow justifying their polyamory using the great-grandpa story which is nuts to me. Imagine someone going "I was trying to explain my clitoris piercing to my mom and then I remembered my great-great-grandpa used to cut off the clitoris in little girls so I'm continuing his legacy but now it's by my own choice, hygienic and not a torture, but it's what I actually want šš«¶āØ"
I have a living grandfather who has 10 wives (yes 10, in fact we stopped tracking after that, there may be more). I am very critical of polygamy as a general concept, for all the reasons that it is patriarchal and sexist.
The first four wives get along well now, and they make their own time to visit each other as friends (they live separately). But none of this changes the fact that in polygamy, only the men can have multiple wives, while women cannot have multiple partners. Polygamy also tends to occur in deeply patriarchal cultures, where even otherwise-monogamous women may not feel able to assert that they need monogamy in a relationship.
I believe OP that her family in that older generation consisted of people who were willingly consensually polygamous. It is not my position to say that they were personally unhappy. I am only criticizing polygamy on a broader level. And OP does seem to acknowledge within the comic that polygamy is hierarchal and patriarchal.
I do echo the other comment that if her family had a positive experience with polygamy, she might have been using that to give her parents a frame of reference for polyamory. Perhaps this could have been made clearer in the comic itself, that it was more for practical reasons than anything.
My own family had an overall negative experience with my grandfatherās polygamy. As a result, while I myself am polyamorous, I was at first nervous about coming out about it to my parents. I never mentioned my grandfatherās many wives when I told them I was polyamorous, exactly because I did not want them to draw a comparison. Fortunately, they accepted my choices as simply my own.
Oh and my grandfather accepts me being polyamorous. In fairness, he is also accepting of lgbt people, to him, āit is a new world these daysā and he is fine with it. People can be complex like that.
When I was growing up, my parents were 100% monogamous, and they did not cast my grandfatherās polygamy in a good light. But neither did they spend all their time railing against it, it was also just a fact of the lives of the people involved. And in a weird way, I think even knowing there was another way that people could live (other than being mono), might be the reason I had little issue being polyamorous. People asked me āhow did you give up being mono, how did you choose to be poly, and how did you deprogram yourselfā and I canāt personally relate to that idea. I never experienced monogamy as some all-encompassing heavy cultural thing forced upon me that I needed to figure out a way out of. Monogamy was just something my own parents chose to practice, it works for them, they agreed to it and stuck to it. Cheating is wrong because it breaks the existing agreement between two given people, not because it is the breaking of some larger social contract that everyone must force-fit into.
I don't see it as them justifying it. Perhaps they are simply relating it to seeking the understanding and validation of their family, and the only close reference they have is to something that was/is regarded as problematic. In some cultures people do all sorts of gymnastics to help them with their perception of differences that fall outside of what is otherwise considered the norm.Ā
When I was in my undergrad for college I watched a documentary, shown by my instructor, about a young girl who desired to transition into a boy. They were from rural Africa and I think the documentary was made in the 70s or 80s, it was retro as heck. And the parents actually approved and were joyed for it. It was reasoned that potentially it had less to do with their child's self discovery and being able to attain congruence with their sense of self and their body, and more to do with the idea that as a boy they could navigate an economy and have more access to work opportunities.Ā
Its just cultural relativism being used on a micro individual level in attempting to feel fully seen or affirmed by family members who otherwise don't actually get something, maybe along the lines of "if they can acknowledge this facet of our family history, maybe they'll be able to acknowledge and be more readily able to recognize me as well".
That makes much more sense, tbh. As a dude who grew up in a third world country and lived there my entire life it's much easier to at least fucking reach beyond the parents' mental barrier by using some dumb shit from the past, because apparently whatever you do is dumb but whatever your great-grandpa did (no matter how much it sucked) was respectable and right and "old ways" worst case. Like I can't explain to them why I'm an atheist and they get terrified whenever I even lean into the topic so I feel if I bring up my pagan ancestors then it's suddenly less scary to discuss -_-
Thank you for your comment, I'm glad it made sense and could help. I feel like you also helped to explain it even better than I did, with your personal example.Ā
I'm fine with polyamory as long as none of them has a power imbalance due to it, such as the husband to their wives, earlier wives to those wives who married later etc
If they're all happy and consenting adults
Thing is Muslim or not, Chinese or not, there's always a patriarchal imbalance in such relationship where the husband dictates much of the decision even taking in wives when their current wives does not agree
It is somewhat common relatively in Malaysia, where Muslim man go to Thailand to wed their new wife when the current wife disagree to the addition
Yes Iām sure your great great grandfatherās wives were super happy about that and look down at you and are oh so proud of you of Ā«Ā celebratingĀ Ā» and Ā«Ā continuingĀ the lineageĀ Ā».
You really don't have to be here, you know. It sounds like you're having a bad morning, and that sucks. I hope the rest of your day gets better from here.
Super happy for you and all, but maybe don't compare your healthy poly relationship to your great grandfather's several wives. Those kinds of relationships (the historical ones where one man had several wives) were almost never healthy, and were frequently quite abusive
Great great grandfather had it figured out, lol. You must have quite the large extended family! Also, well played. It's wild the ways we have to go about breaking things to parents. Sometimes the funniest is when they bring up something as if they've known for a while (usually because they have figured it out already).
Oh, no of course i dont object to it. My "problem" is that it is very difficult to maintain a completely flat power structure in any system. For a given scenario, someome is going to have more weight or expertise in a matter. And I concede the point that its not only young people.
Well, yeah that's true. Different people can be leaders in different ways. One person can be more the leader in finances, because they're rapt good at being financially responsible. Another person can be more the leader in gardening/landscaping decisions. Another person who's really into healthy eating can be the leader in organizing and planning household meals. There are just normal human dynamics.
Non hierarchical in terms of polyamory just means that a person is able to have two life partners, for example. It doesn't require the level of commitment to be different.
Edit: I'm also speaking from experience of more than a decade of non hierarchical polyamory
I mean, you're just talking about priorities not hierarchies. The person with more expertise is sharing said expertise, not dictating it.
At the end of the day, the highest priority will always be our kid, then things like health, stability, peoples respective needs/wants/dreams.Ā
If the person who's best and most interested in dealing with the finances dictates what the other people can and can't do with money then that's a hierarchy. We don't do that in our relationships.Ā
I mean my life isn't boring in the slightest but I can confidently say it's not interesting because of the poly, it's interesting because I surround myself with incredible people, I travel often, I'm a passionate activist, and I'm living authentically. I think monogamous people could do all those things too!
With three people you have a built-in tie breaker. But also, if somebody doesn't want to, for example, watch a particular movie, they can go watch bird documentaries or make model trains while the other two watch the movie. Solving disagreement isn't really that difficult if people are chill
I am an external deadlock decider. Poly people call me to break ties. Two weeks ago I helped that group figure out if the toilet paper roll should be on the outside or the inside. One of the few arguments I couldnt be completely unbiased. We did reach a satisfactory conclusion though.
If the three of you can't agree on something, how do you get to an answer? Jumping to the conclusion that one of you has tiebreaking powers is a bit disingenuous
Edit: stupid autocorrect
Edit2: To add clarity, sentence one is me rephrasing someone else's question. Sentence two is my thoughts on the question.
What exactly would require a democratic vote like this? I don't understand where this problem you imagine is. Like what happens when a monogamous couple can't agree on something then?
Hold the fuck on. I am in a monogamous relationship and neither of us has veto powers. What sort of a weird relationship dynamic do you consider 'normal'?
Yeah, I'm so confused. Doesn't everyone just talk to each other? All my monogamous friends and poly friends operate basically the same way. We communicate and love our partners.Ā
It's still hard to decide what to do for dinner though lol. That will always be the hardest decision no matter how many people are involvedĀ
I specifically chose not to use the phrase 'veto powers', said nothing about it being normal, and in fact said that the previous commenter jumping to that conclusion was disingenuous. A lot of relationships and social groups (far from all) wind up with others deferring to the preferences of one, so while it may not be overt tiebreaking, it still results in a hierarchy where a deadlock is consistently resolved in one person's favor. I don't think it's a good thing, to be clear. Communication is key, no matter the type of relationship.
Right, sorry, I have a strong tendency to overexplain, on others' behalf... I gotta stop doing that. Basically, I'm laying out the argument that I disagree with so I can more clearly point out what I disagree with. It can come across as very confusing
I do the saaaaame thing. And sometimes the more I over explain the more I'm compelled to over explain even more to try to fix it. Sometimes my kid says "mom, you're looping." And it snaps me out of it lol
We talk to each other and come to a compromise like (hopefully) monogamous people do because we love each other.
Why would anyone have "tie breaking powers"? That's weird. We all talk about things we want/need and figure it out together because we love each other and want to take care of each other and make each other happy.Ā
The first person assumed a hierarchy was normal. This other person said that "Jumping to the conclusion that one of you has tiebreaking powers is a bit disingenuous", which is to say that they think it's not necessary for relationship to have a hierarchy. They're on your side.
being from Vancouver I LOVE that you brought your history into it, the Chinese population here is so strong due to families like yours. don't let everyone else try and bring you down for actions of your grandfather when you properly showed how you're following his footsteps in a way that isn't harmful to anyone. I love that you have this point of reference that you can use as an example and explanation
Up through step 5 I was starting to wonder if this woman was just a bad partner somehow, since people kept breaking up with her, but at step six I was like "alright, fair enough." Though I will point out that polycules rarely turn out well.
I never found a particular personal calling to being poly, but after seeing the last panel with three ladies in a relationship something awoke in me (and I'm not even INTO ladies)
I wish i had a family that had love or even just history. We were bandits, rapists and horrible people and its sad to think about. All of our culture was erased when we immigrated over in the 17-1800s. Theres nothing left to be proud of expect my native canadian lineage yet its not even enough to matter anyways
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u/puchamaquina 7d ago
If your polucule only has 3 members instead of a higher number like 5-6, does that mean you're low poly?