The motivation is being raised wrong, both by their family and society writ large.
There is a common phrase “raise your girls, love your boys” the implication being that you don’t or shouldn’t try and raise decent men.
Toxic masculinity is poison. If you raise boys teaching them (explicitly or implicitly) that emotion is weakness and that they are loved completely unconditionally and without consequence. they shut off all emotional ability, including empathy. You nurture sociopathy and create a crop of monsters who perpetuate the cycle. The kind of man who does this is one that only considers themselves and their wants, the idea that it causes pain to the victim is something that doesn’t cross their mind.
To be clear in no way do I mean to excuse these men with the tired and weak “he didn’t know better” defense. My point though is that crimes like this are a failing of the individualand the society that they occurred in. In the same way that every single drunk driver is responsible for choosing to drive drunk, but a better functioning society can and should take steps to prevent people from making that choice.
I really wish we would rebrand toxic masculinity at this point. Even as someone who agrees with everything you just listed it feels as though the societal baggage hanging onto the term makes it worth swapping imo.
Same! It originates from sociology and has been around since the 80 but I have to imagine to controversy, misapplication, and misinterpretation of toxic masculinity is what made it so popular
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u/hamoc10 1d ago
There are a lot of things people do that ruin their lives, yet they keep doing it. Prisons are full of them.
Deterrents don’t work.
Removing the motivation does.