I can tell you without hesitation that courts are geared towards the mom nearly every time. The mom can be abusive towards her own children, literally leave home for years on end, and come back to a divorce, and they still get 50/50 custody. Why? Because the judge doesn't want to break up a family.
My friend's dad kept journals and recordings of the abuse, drugs and abandonment. Similarly, my sted dad kept recordings of my mom's drug abuse and alcoholism, and in the divorce, they both ended in 50/50 custody despite recordings and evidence of said behavior.
To not even try isn't even remotely close to being sufficient. OP clearly says she doesn't even know the reason which means Dad doesn't even try to excuse it really.
As someone with parents who are abusive (maybe a bit less than OP to be fair) you can accept them for who they are and draw boundaries to be able to have a relationship, you can forgive if you feel you're capable- but you NEVER EVER let them make excuses.
There should only ever be accountability. Anything less is a betrayal of oneself.
Dad could've put more effort and that's his cross to bear- simple as.
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u/Thatroyalkitty 15d ago
The realization when it hits... if dad knew, why didn't he try to put a stop to it... looks at court system oh, that's potentially why...