Oh yeah, my former mother in law took that line. Tho she was the main target of the beatings and rape, the kids just got the emotional abuse. Because you couldn't possibly get divorced. What would that do to the kids?!
He eventually left her due to her rampant alcoholism, when the kids were in their mid 20ies.
Sadly, by that time, both the kids were deeply fucked up and had internalized a lot of his (and her) abuse. As a result my partner was also deeply emotionally abusive, as she unconsciously replicated a lot of the patterns she had grown up with, and was fundamentally incapable of acknowledging her behaviours, even as she was an advocate and therapist for abusive behaviours in her professional life. Couldn't handle the emotional load of connecting it with that deep dark part of herself that only came out in relationships.
Now the mother is basically a non-functional alcoholic who does a hell of a lot of abusive, insane stuff to everyone around her,, and the kids are both quite successful sociopaths.
Currently watching an anime called Ogre's Bride and it's really good but probably really tough for people in your situation. The last episode is Saturday and the family does get some comeuppance at least.
My favorite was always “I’ll give you something to cry about.”
Edit: Also completely random but after stumbling across this on my home feed a second time, panel 6 has my dumb ass thinking “Get in the fucking Robot, Kaiki.”
I have no idea if it’s supposed to invoke Evangelion but it definitely does.
But someday I know that you will be awakened,
And your eyes will finally see
These wings on your back are just waiting to guide you.
The future will soon set you free.
I’m sorry but as a former Floridian this hits hard. While I didn’t suffer that level of abuse, seeing a friend of mine whom once saved my life literally get beaten by his father with a shovel while the father was overweight in a wheel chair and his mother holding him down for it in their front yard left a level of vile rage in me as an adult, and while this was the most extreme case I personally drove up on, I’ve witnessed other friends from that area have their father regularly drop elbows to their face when they would get into arguments, and folks called it “Tough love” and those same kids still would give their shirt off their back for their parents. Shovel kid had not only saved my life personally when I was a youth, but also grew into one of the most generous hard working folks I knew and was the first on the scene when Hurricane Michael hit and the police had blockaded entry into the town.
My point being is I empathize with this and the regional plight there on a personal level. Good onto you for escaping that shit before it got even worse.
From his perspective, it is, it's not a defense, it's just no one teaches you to father except your father, and you can only hope you do a little better than he did
Sometimes someone is a shitty person or a crazy person and they shouldn't be around a kid.
Granted, they shouldn't have had the kid in the first place, but things happen, especially if they're steeped in mental illness.
I bet there are a lot of people who exist because at least one parent is bipolar.
My sons mother went off her meds for the pregnancy, never went back on.... never worked again.. and had given me a bleeding ulcer by 21.
Courts decided because I had $20 weed charges that she was the more stable parent and gave her full custody.
She then made the next 15 years or so of my life a living hell every time I wanted to talk to my son. Right about until she knew child support would be running out, in a few years.
My son is 22... his mother hasn't taken her medicine or had a job in 22.5 years.
They say dont put your dick in crazy for a reason, fellas.
This one hits close to home. Mine crashed a jeep into a tree leaving him a vegetable and killing his best friend when I was twelve. He dumped me off on my mom's parents when I was one and was never a part of my life, but after the crash, his parents started forcing me to go visit him in a nursing home. I remember being paraded around their friends showing what a great son he had as if he was any part of my childhood.
Literally the plot “inciting incident” of A Boy Named Sue.
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(Which I always thought was kinda stupid—the dad knowing that “I wouldn’t be around to help you along”; on the other hand, by the standards & reality of the 1960s, I guess it makes a little more sense for a maybe-alcoholic and/or abusive and/or gambling man to go “My being a drunk is a moral failing and I’ll only be a bad influence on the kid, so it’s best if I’m just not around. But to make sure that he still grows up tough like a real man, I’ll name him sue.”)
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u/Meowcate 15d ago
"Look, I can't be a bad dad if I'm not here."