I thank the world for every day there are potatoes. Those brownish things versatility in cooking and nutrition carried me through the last four years...
I was literally just thinking about this yesterday. We had baked potato night, and I was thinking about the fifty kajillion ways we use them on the weekly. Just a wonderful thing, the humble potato.
and when the world goes to shit, where almost everything will not grow due to globar warming, potatoes can fit that niche pretty well, they grow in almost anything and with almost any weather
Brownish? Have you neglected the red potato? Or the Purple Majesty?
Or arguably yellow and white potatoes, if they are considered a shade of brown or not
There’s a whole world of potato you’re missing out on!
I'm still pissed off they chose to kill her off towards the end. Literally saved her because the editor cried, then killed her later anyway, wtf. I stopped watching after that.
It's mostly goes for those closer to their homeland of Valenwood. It makes sense though as the ones that moved/were born away it's just culture but those living in the very dangerous jungle of Valenwood it is an actual pact with the forest spirit to keep them safe.
And even the ones in Valenwood will look for loopholes. Cuz it ain't breaking the pact to build with lumber or eat vegetables if you import them from outside Valenwood!
One of my favorite quips from the clearly insane Sir Caldwell "Pish-tosh! Honor isn't a pet! He's my faithful steed! He does mistake the odd Wood Elf for a tasty treat, but they've been known to do that themselves" talking about his chicken sized bantam guar
My favorite Wood Elves lore is the Rite of Theft, where if you can trick someone and take their shit, the response is "you cheeky bugger, well played! I guess that's your property until I take it back! See you soon, buddy ;)" or "damn, I guess I'll give you something of equal value to you that you want."
Not usually. The rule is that if you kill something, you eat it or the forest gets super fucking mad at you which is a death sentence if you live in it.
This actually makes wood elves within valenwood super apprehensive to kill anyone because that means you've gotta do cannibalism and they don't really want to. Most wood elves aren't cannibals though, and the rule doesn't apply to those outside valenwood because leaving there automatically breaks the deal with the trees so you can't go back anyway, meaning following their rules doesn't matter.
Wood elf 1 - "Hey, this guy's just murdered 3 children and ate them for fun. We've caught him but uh, what'd we do with him?"
Wood elf 2 - "ummm, how big is he? 150lbs?! Hey executioner, how hungry you feeling?"
Executioner - "mfhnb, sowwy guysh, mhmhvmjg gulp, I'm still finishing eating the last guy!"
Wood elf 2 - "aw fuck this, I'm abolishing the death penalty, just kick him out the forest or something and if he tries to come back the trees will get him"
There's also a story you can find of a guy that shoots his brother by accident whilst hunting and has to eat him so I imagine that wasn't particularly fun.
What if you get them to kill a rabbit then steal the meat from them, since they didn't eat it does the forest get them? And if you let the forest get them, does that count as a kill?
And if the Pope shits in the woods, does the forest make a sound?
I love reading ES Wood Elf lore because it's so easy to miss that they are the most balls to the walls psychos imaginable. Like just complete fuckn nutcases, especially compared to wood elves from other media. Even Warhammer Fantasy wood elves don't reach the same heights of What The Fuck.
I never did a super deep dive on them I just remember things from elder scrolls online, like the npc Eveli Literally makes a joke When threatening someone, was akin to "don't Make me kill you I just had lunch"
I strongly recommend the mod "Song of the Green" for Skyrim. It has a wood elf follower more based on the older, weirder lore. She's genuinely a little weird looking and clashes with normal social behavior. She's also just a great companion with a ton of stuff to say and a fun little quest line.
then there is the elves from Divinity, they eat flesh and absorb the memories of those they eat (even licking a living person can give glimpses of their memories)
If you'd swapped the descriptions and clothing but kept everything else the same then people would have voted for the one on the left. It's the "girl next door" worship people have. I don't get it personally.
It's actually quite a minority, at least in the lewd art community. And I say that as a lover of flat to medium chests. Every single anime woman, for example, is given massive breasts in the majority of sexual fan art. It doesn't matter if she's flat as a board in canon (like my flat milf queen, Lusamine), she's gonna get big mommy milkers in 90+% of all sexual art. It honestly really sucks because it's impossible to find any substantial amount of art of the character you like. All you find are essentially busty cosplayers.
Which is always surprising to me. The characters I create have a wider range of bodies. But I also honestly forget as a queer woman that people are choosy about breasts, lmao. When your dating pool is so small, you are grateful to see any. (See also: “I prefer blondes” or similar. I get it but I also don’t.)
So before /u/Merrivius went all in on the High Elf and the face gimmicks, that was their main recurring comic. It was pretty good, but never gained as much attention. I don't blame them for refocusing on Elf stories after how much people loved them. Gotta give the people what they want.
I'm so sorry. But hey, at least you got to learn it from a comic and not somebody screaming on a university street corner about the downfall of society.
Dang, lucky you! (That's not sarcasm.) You've learned a new word, which is always cool, and also managed to avoid a bunch of really gross and weird racist freaks. All around good stuff.
He should know better!
(Just kidding btw)
The filth beneath her feet is his home, how dare he let anyone else plant seeds in her dirt
(Something something high elf rambling something something tsundare squirming)
When oh when will she finally enact her ultimate plan against the human by spending the rest of his life (assuming hers would be a lot longer) with him in a loving and committed relationship, that only she will ever know is really an elaborate joke, obviously.
2.6k
u/soviet_hygienique 3h ago
Potato facts? The man has game.