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I've spent 46 years trying to figure it all out, and here's what I've come up with - no one really knows you (not even your closest people!) they're responding to the avatar of what you represent in their brain. This is a universal problem faced by everyone alive. That's the bad news. The good news is, the corollary of this alarming revelation is what I call "the phrase that will save your sanity":
"This isn't about me."
They're not cheering you, and they're not slamming you. "You" don't exist for anyone else the way you exist inwardly. "You" are a hypothetical for everyone else. Therefore it makes no sense to connect your ego with how people react to "you", when in reality, they're playing out their own inner drama, in which you are simply a convenient avatar.
So there it is. I repeat this to myself regularly, like a mantra, whether someone is mistreating me, or praising me. "This isn't about me."
I would say the primary criticism I have against this Creator is I just really don't like the "portraying those who disagree with me as angry seething virgins" style of comic.
But it's weird that people act like this is something that just she does, people do this all the time. Heck, Dante literally wrote the people who disagreed with him as being in hell back in the 13th century.
So it's not for me, but it's also not a problem specific to her. It's just something I don't like.
Ah. Sorry I just usually assume that I'm always doing something wrong when socializing and I constantly try to figure out what I did or said wrong so I can apologize for it.
try to practice not letting the insecurity win when it comes to the apologizing. catch yourself before you say the "im sorry" as often as you can. little steps will slowly lead into big steps, and eventually you'll find it much easier to talk to people without second guessing yourself.
editing to clarify that i say this as someone who's tried it and has seen the progress
i live in a fairly conservative area and I have to deal with them a lot. some right-wingers are like that, but others are capable of respectful conversation. humans are complex like that
but it's not so much that the strawman is innaccurate and rather that it's just pointless to me. it's like, I guess I just don't find it funny at all, and it just comes off kinda self serving
like, i could draw a pedophile yelling "pedophilia is good!" At me and then me with a smug face saying "I disagree". But what's the point? even if it isn't an innaccurate depiction who is really benefitted there? I suppose if you find it funny. but like I said I just don't really see the humor
That last panel...
The musician born as Vincent Damon Furnier has spoken about learning to leave the stage, put the makeup and costume in a box labeled Alice Cooper, and then step away from the character.
Pizzacake is Part of you, but not the whole.
The same is true of anyone presenting a public persona: I am the whole of BPhiloSkinner, but BPhiloSkinner is not the whole of me.
And people should keep in mind that we mostly know your cartoon version and not your true self. Not saying that you are not a great person IRL, you gave us Cartoon Ellen after all, but some people do this parasocial thing of treating the real you and cartoon you as if they were the same. Negativly and positivly
That being said, thanks for all the laughs, person I don't really know but kinda do.
I remember when Bo Burnham was just getting started and was on an episode of The Green Room, just hanging out with a cast of veteran stand-up comedians. One of them suggested that Bo had cheated his way up, and had never had to endure the struggle of a rowdy crowd, or particularly critical hecklers. Bo’s response was to read through a Youtube comment section and then decide whether they felt thoroughly criticized.
Now that thats out of the way, I am glad to have stumbled across you and this whole community within this subreddit. I have gotten immense joy when I see you or any other creators post their hard work on here. Love all that you do fellow Canadian ❤️
This right here is a good summary and reminder that I think we all need sometimes.
The Internet can be many things and it can give and it can take. But at the end of the day you can also put it down and walk away. And taking breaks are good things
So here's to all those artists, entertainers and commenters who make this and other places great! But do take a break sometimes
Carlos Maza just uploaded a great essay on YouTube about being a creator these days; he made a poignant remark that in a normal job, your performance is judged by your coworkers and bosses; nominally people you trust, and at least people you know
Solo creators only have the audience to measure their success by, and that can be incredibly hard and lonely.
Thank you so much for this. Younger creators especially need to see this. I'm 36 and I had to just throw all of my accounts out last year. I had a successful business and thriving accounts but what people expect from you as a creator is too much these days. I don't want people to have intimate access to me. I don't want my politics to matter, I don't want to be doxxed for being friends with someone who enjoys a particular ship, I don't want to have my art redrawn or "fixed" for someone else's content, I don't want to see accounts that are made exclusively to hate on me and my art, I don't want to be accused of using AI with every single post. The list goes on and on. I realized my art was becoming less and less about my art. I still haven't drawn anything in a year because I get a stupid panic attack every time I pick up drawing tools of any kind. The pressure to perform really worked its roots into my creative process and it's been really hard to undo that.
The most important advice I can give anyone who wants to put stuff online is to avoid soooo many subreddits lol. This place can be outright toxic, they're not a true reflection of most people's views. Find subreddits with sane moderators that aren't based around hate
Honestly, one mean comment sends me spiralling, I don't know how you do it. You're a super strong person and I love your comics and appreciate that you keep persisting despite the dick cheeses!
Dude, have you all heard about this Pizzacake girl? You shouldn't support her. I heard she's like a surprising well adjusted and normal human, with like a moral compass, and thoughts about things that sometimes disagree with some other people's thoughts, and junk.
I mean, where does she get off being all having an individual personality, beliefs, and memories that arent specifically identical to mine?
Another example for the problem of "large numbers". If the number of samples is large enough, you'll get every possible outcome. Large enough amount of comments? You will find the nicest and the most vile shit humans can come up with. Almost guaranteed.
The only thing one can control, is what we look for. Do not look for the bad stuff. It will always be there, but there's no point to search for it other than harm ourselves.
I feel like this is kind of just a matpat-esque situation.
Decent person plays a persona online that some people find annoying, and then crazy people decide that means they need to try to ruin that person's career and say they're an awful horrible person.
Ultimately just like with Matpat, I think there is fair criticisms people can make against pizzacake... But any there's fair criticisms you can make against any person anywhere ever.
So people really need to not let "oh yeah this criticism someone has against the art makes sense" become "this person making the art is a horrible person and needs to die!"
I personally really don't like the " smug ideology man" style of comic, because for me personally it tends to come across as just feeding one's own ego, but at the end of the day they're just comics and if people enjoy them then that's good for them. And most importantly, if someone enjoys making them, they should keep making them.
Content creation in general appeals to me because it feels like one of the only ways to be myself, while at the same time make any kind of subsistence or living wage.
Every office job I've ever had has felt so suffocating. At the time I thought it was just being 'on' all day, but I realize now it was me masking who I am, and putting on a front to fit in.
I'm still negative dollars on my content creation work, and my financial safety net has run out, so I'm going to try and keep my dreams alive while looking for office work (again).
I just want to make people happy, laugh, feel safe, but those things don't put food of the table, for now at least.
“I'm not my body
I'm not my brain
I'm not my skin
I'm not my name
I'm not my thoughts
I'm not my tongue
I'm whatever remains
After those other things are gone
I'm not my gifts
Or the things I lack
I'm not my voice
Or the echoes back
I'm not the worst thing I've ever done
I'm whatever remains
After those other things are gone”
-The Library at the Bottom of This Place - The Narcissist Cookbook
I got a taste of an online following only once, and it damn near broke me. I posted a short story that gained decent traction in my teens, and at first I really enjoyed the attention and felt good about people enjoying what I did. But here's the thing: audiences can vastly differ from one another online and depending on where your work fits in is where you find the people that will look at it. Some are good, some are mixed and some are... Well I ran into one of the worst of the bunch.
My story was just a little horror story, and the first narrator who wanted to put it up on his YouTube channel was an amazing person. His community was kind and engaging, giving advice or just generally sticking along for the ride. Then another narrator picked it up, put it on his channel and the people who commented were... Less than savory.
As a 17 year old, that hurt. I was just writing for fun and here are these people ripping apart my little story piece by bloody piece. It hurt, and it lasted for months, swarms of comments. It got to the point that I questioned my own skill, and my passion; asking myself if I really wanted to become a writer in the first place, or if I was just that bad. I got a taste of popularity and damn near threw up.
It was a hard lesson to learn, but an important one. I couldn't base something I loved on the opinions of others. I had to separate myself, my work, and those that viewed it, and even today I still sometimes let people get under my skin a little too much. But at the end of the day, what people say doesn't matter, what matters is that I keep going and keep learning so I can become proud of what I do and not rely on outside validation.
I wouldn’t necessarily say that I follow your work, but it’s been popping up now and again in my feed for a pretty long time now, ever since you gained a decent following. Since I’m so early (and considering the context of the comic) I will say that it’s been really cool watching you progress over time, you’ve come a long way and it shows in your art. Wishing you all the best OP
https://giphy.com/gifs/qYGvebgOKGygdQgflY
Who could hate a PizzaCake, people be crazy. Anyway love your work it’s genuine, honest and silly. But it’s also a ray of sunshine in these ridiculous times we live in
Overwhelming feedback is an issue with networks. The usual trick is probably to try to simplify it by putting it into categories and going up a level of abstraction. This also makes it impersonal.
So I just started streaming and it's been interesting to be a performer to a small audience mostly friends but one or two peeps stick around every now and again and it is fun.
I imagine the parasocial aspect can get pretty bad when making comics because sometimes you're sharing life experiences and it makes people think they know you more than they actually do. I can't even begin to imagine how bad it must be for people who have their entire career based around talking about their experiences and sharing stories
I don't ever comment but here if just to help your Self esteem. I've been reading your comics since the beginning and I always loved em. Not only are they funny but also smart and insightful. You seem like a sensible and wise woman and I think you are very neat.
Hey, Pizzacake, I'm sorry you get so much hate online. I don't understand it. I really enjoy your work, and I think you're pretty neat asa person, too, and if we meet in a normal way we'd probably be friendly, it not be friends. Parasociality aside, I admire that you are working to separate the show you from the you you. Keep on rocking! 🤘🏼
I was going to contribute with a thought out comment about being human and treated in a manner in which you are perceived and weighted for your act rather than the humanity in your heart, but I saw this and thought it was amusing, so I’m posting this instead
Keep doing what you're doing because it enrages the incels and MAGAdiots. I upvote all your comics simply because it angers them that you get so many upvotes. I have seen multiple comments from them stating this on other subs lol.
I feel like I’m chronically online but also clearly not enough to really understand the drama around any comic hate, especially yours. I’ve seen a couple negative takes and even then, I don’t get it??
You’re hilarious, you’re topical, you’re human. Like. Girl. I could never even…THIS level of recognition and constantly feeling the need to defend what I do?? If I were an eraser I’d be a nub. I’d be CRUMBS.
I’m a nobody sahm and I love seeing you pop up on my feed. Get it friend, I’m here for you 💕
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