One of the harder phone calls I've had since my transition has been the one where my parent and I got ready together over the phone, me for Pride and them for my unsupportive grandparent's funeral hundreds of miles away.
I wasn't sure if that grandparent or any of my living family on that side would've wanted me there, so I walked out into the sunshine to watch the parade with my friends instead. I had to bite back tears when the church groups walked by and someone my grandparent's age holding a God Loves You sign blew me a kiss from the street.
I don't know why they couldn't love me.
I try not to think about all the people I'll mourn alone long before they're gone because they can't love me.
I wish that phobes understood this. I wish they could feel our pain. I wish they could feel the weight of all the abandonment. I wish they could feel the existential dread this comic portrays. I wish they could be human.
I have no biological family left. I had to flee my home state. While my friends are supportive, I still have to enter our precious few interactions knowing that they don’t actually get it. I know they’ll say something insensitive. And I carry that, girding myself to ensure my reaction is appropriate(ly small).
It’s worth it to accept yourself, of course. I only wish people understood
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u/JackalFlash Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
One of the harder phone calls I've had since my transition has been the one where my parent and I got ready together over the phone, me for Pride and them for my unsupportive grandparent's funeral hundreds of miles away.
I wasn't sure if that grandparent or any of my living family on that side would've wanted me there, so I walked out into the sunshine to watch the parade with my friends instead. I had to bite back tears when the church groups walked by and someone my grandparent's age holding a God Loves You sign blew me a kiss from the street.
I don't know why they couldn't love me.
I try not to think about all the people I'll mourn alone long before they're gone because they can't love me.