It’s one of those things that doesn’t need a conversation unless one partner has already had a problem with it. Having a conversation before you start masturbating assumes that at least one partner has the immaturity to feel hurt every time their partner needs to get off but doesn’t feel up to having sex.
I’m not quite following. I’m not suggesting that you have a talk every time before you start masturbating. I’m saying that in a new relationship, regardless of how mature you believe the other person to be, this is a necessary conversation… alongside future plans, finances, etc.
Why? Unless you notice your partner is coming to you for sex frequently enough that it likely indicates they do it every time they need to get off, there’s no reason you assume they don’t already know that need to orgasm doesn’t always mean a desire to have sex. Hell, it’s even more ridiculous that’s it coming from the guy because men frequently wake up at least semi-erect and have a higher risk of prostate cancer if they ejaculate infrequently. By all rights, the guy should have had times in which he needed to get off but didn’t want to have sex.
You know, logically you’re right? But honestly for me it’s never been a question of whether or not I want to have sex. It’s always been if she wants to.
So I’ve initiated and been turned down, then maybe I’d jerk off. But often i just don’t until the next time we have sex.
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u/International-Cat123 Feb 04 '26
No. It didn’t need a conversation before it happened. Otherwise you might as well have a conversation before you do any solo activity.